i am 19 engaged to my bestfriend. we have been together now for 3 years, i know this is bad but one night i got really drunk and me and one of his mates slept together we had always had a soft spot for eachother, i do love my fiance but i cant get this guy out my head hes always around us as there families are good mates, i think ive fallen for him and i know he feels the same but we dont want to hurt anyone so we cant be together, he has a new girlfriend now but still we cant stop staring at eachother and we cant seem to resist eachother. im so stuck i would hate to loose my fiance but how can i stay with him when im in love with his mate! even if we cant be together! i like this guy so much that it hurts!
2006-10-04 23:11:24 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
obviously your too young to be engaged because when you are engaged, you are supposed to be committed to that person..
i think you should leave your fiance because clearly he doesnt deserve to be hurt and then do what you want.
2006-10-04 23:13:34 · answer #1 · answered by Wite Out 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it's hard, but you really do need to tell your fiance. You can't go on carrying through a relationship with someone when you have strong feelings for another person. It never works out that way. I suggest talking to the guy that you have feelings for now and asking him if he feels the same way. If he does, then maybe you and him have a chance of being together. If he doesn't, I would still end it with your fiance. Even if you do not end up with this other man, you can't stay in a relationship when, like I said, you have feelings for another. It is going to hurt your fiance very much, but know that it will hurt him a lot worse when he finds out from a worse situation, or if you go on pretending like everything is ok. Being honest with him is the key to this. Personally, I would also tell him about the cheating. He deserves to know. People will be angry and upset, but at least you won't be pretending or covering this up. If you stay with him, the feelings aren't going to subside. Infact, they will most likely become stronger, and it will become a lot harder to deal with. Also, I wouldn't recommend marrying at the age of 19. You're still young and are apparently not able to deal with this yet. Good luck.
2006-10-04 23:18:19 · answer #2 · answered by housesoftheholy90 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to be fair to yourself and your fiance. Marrying him when you are emotionally attached to someone else is wrong. If you are feeling ambivalent about this marriage and you are only 19, then you will only continue to feel this way. You've been with your fiance for three years, perhaps you are not ready to settle down. Having this fling with one of his mates proves that. You need to be honest with your fiance and tell him that you are not ready to get married yet. What's the rush anyway? If you want a marriage to work, then you have to have the maturity to not fall for other guys or sleep with them when you are drunk. It's up to you whether you tell your fiance about your cheating on him, but at least be true to yourself and break off the engagement. Use this time to work on yourself and to find out what you really want in life. Use this experience as a wake up call that perhaps marriage at 19 is not a viable option for you.
2006-10-04 23:17:34 · answer #3 · answered by cheyennetomahawk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take some time off from everything, relax, free up your mind from everything and just enjoy the nature. Maybe you can just go to a beach, friends house out of town, grandma's place...Whatever suits you.
Some point of time during your time off or after you are back you will start thinking about yourself and your feelings and your actions... So now think hard and ask yourself if you really love your fiancees mate...or not. Whatever answer you might get ....still continue asking the same question to urself multiple times .. ......You know what i am talking about?
2006-10-04 23:18:45 · answer #4 · answered by mapleleafydude 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest and tell your boyfriend the truth otherwise one day it will come back and bite you on the backside as we say in australia as for the one you like he has to decide you are the right one for him but dont break up a perfectly good relationship if thats what the one you like has at some point he will hate you as well if you do .
2006-10-04 23:25:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it was more than a drunk roll in bed- you can go with the other guy- then cheat on each other- you are not ready to be married- and are not faithful- u say ur in love w his mate_ you are in lust and lust doesn't last- tell your fiance the truth- I bet you didn;t use a condom- so not telling what u were exposed to- drunk lust and all- get your act together- u hurt! shame shame- where is your conscience???D
2006-10-04 23:30:52 · answer #6 · answered by Debby B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-04 07:14:00 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
**** that sound like what i'm going trought..but her doing to me... well to tell you the truthe you need to be honest with your boy.. i hate to tell you that but you need to think about it.. you dont want to start a marriage on a bad note.. he find out later when you have kids and have him hate you for the rest of your lifes. i'm might be a fluck what you feel for this other guy cuz hes some one else but you need to think about your man more. he does deserve to know whats going on in your head.. other wise you will just hurt him even more and it could be worse later on in life..
2006-10-04 23:19:20 · answer #8 · answered by tony 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to grow up and stop playing games....You shouldn't be thinking of marriage if it is that easy for you to get banged by some Bloke! If you can't stay faithful being ENGAGED...what makes you think you can MARRIED?
2006-10-04 23:19:37 · answer #9 · answered by BITE ME 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you seem to b contradicting each & every statement of yours.........spill the story to your fiance....hurting him once doesn't matter compared to the guilt you'll have to live with...plus your depriving him of his rights to know the truth...& why do i have a bad feeling that thingswont wurk out if you land up dating your fiance's mate.
2006-10-04 23:23:35 · answer #10 · answered by lynora 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋