that dont like oral sex. i have been with my girlfriend for 5 years and she is very prudish and not at all experienced sexually. however i asked her 2 weeks ago why she has only ever been down on me twice as it makes you paranoid and she said its not normal all that goo and stuff. hmmmm i have had to make do with other things but i miss oral badly and i never want to cheat and i have even been thinking about buying a sex toy that feels as though im having it licked. can anybody see this working. i have a very high sex drive and hers is very low she was brought up where sex was dirty i was brought up sex is dirty ohhh la la.
2006-10-04 22:07:27 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
she dont let me go down on her either. i adore her and have tolerated so much but im gonna explode soon im 33 and at my sexual peak and she also said were not to use toys as they are a plastic man (vibrators).
2006-10-04 22:14:17 · update #1
well, its never too late to go back over the tracks from lesbian. Be open with her and try introducing her to some guy friends. Maybe her sexuality is 'prude' in its highest form?
Im sure there are plenty of us guys that enjoy stimulating women.
oral is just another means to an end.
If someone is such a tightwad then maybe they are straight. tightwads are the worst in relationships because they are afriad to lose control. afraid to fall in love. is that what I detect here? Is she a straight girl in mas'queer'ade?
you are afterall consulting the general public on this. so expect snide remarks...mine are honestly meant to be productive / with a dash of humor...ie the spoonful of sugar.
2006-10-04 22:13:12 · answer #1 · answered by jorluke 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Okay, so there's a few guys here with way too much of an idea that a lesbian can be "converted". Straight OR gay, there are some people that just don't enjoy oral sex. For instance, I'm bisexual and have a fiancee, but I'm not about to perform phallacio on him. Personally, I think it's gross. He doesn't mind that.
Now, here's the question: Have you spoken with her about this? Maybe there's something in her past that bothers her and that's why her sex drive is low. I don't think you should end it, really. But, I don't think you should give up something you enjoy, either. I say, get the toy and maybe that will help. They make some with the actual texture of the tongue, did you know that? *gglz*
2006-10-04 22:19:53 · answer #2 · answered by Danielle 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hi,how are you?ok,it seems like she can be a little bit confused about what she wants,or feeling probably has changed for you,im just saying that you have to keep all options open here,but for you to be with someone for so long and you can count the number of times you have done the nasty,so to say,its a problem.i dont mean no harrm but women are suppose to be understanding of that,because it can get tough sometimes but if you love someone,it can be solved.being in a relationship for 5yrs and the sex is anything less than that,you cant be afraid to loose her,or you shouldnt be afraid to work it out.if you look at it,its kind of unfair to a person to go thru something like this and they knew how you were from the beginning,and she chose to accept you for that,then someone is lying to someone,and im not just saying something,just look at all points and you will see,or even some to terms that,something is jacked up.so maybe you should sit down and just talk it out with her and get her to understand why you and her made the committment to eachother,but if you just cant get thru to her,then maybe you all should just consider going your seperate ways,it may hurt if it go that way,but you shouldnt have to go thru this,it is just beneath anyone to go thru this.hold your headup and keep focused and what one want do,someone else would!
2006-10-05 05:31:09 · answer #3 · answered by dimediva901 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get with a ohhh la la, this girl does not want to be a lesbian, it is very obvious. Leave her alone.
2006-10-04 22:11:52 · answer #4 · answered by shardf 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
yes there are lesbians (touch me not studs) that dont let their girls go down on them... BUT her not going down on you is a totally different problem.... i think sex isnt everything in a relationship but its part of it... dont cheat just leave her if sex is that important to you... or just masturbate lol it works all the time for me lol
2006-10-05 03:14:20 · answer #5 · answered by sexylilles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe we should hook up. I have a high sex drive also and my girlfriend don't. I miss making love to her and it drives me crazy not being about to.
2006-10-05 02:41:11 · answer #6 · answered by Jennifer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have 6 bi friends n lesbian friends there r other thing to do other then going down on her. if u can't do that leave her n og bak to bi or normal
2006-10-04 22:14:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
well if you are not happy about the situation then leave it....question is does she like it when you go down on her?
2006-10-04 22:09:54 · answer #8 · answered by USuck79 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Answer from Hersband,
Ok, I gotta say you have a plethra of issues here. And I have to say I do understand your issues. Sometimes we love who we love but things just do not quite fit together.I have found that communication is key. Especially, in what likes and dislikes you have in the bedroom. Wife and I spent countless hours prior to us begining a wonderful life together. When we were just "friends" we talked about all these issues. What was acceptable or not in all parts of life. The sex issue always came up. We spent hours laughing, crying and discovering all kinds of things about each other. It was even more once we started dating and even more once we started living together. I had been around the preverbial block way too many times for Wife. Ok, enough said about talk to your partner.
So once you find (or you may already know) why your partner has issues with sex,then maybe you can go back in time and remember your first time. Being gentler and taking baby steps to let her catch up to where you are. Some women find the vagina not a pleasant place. It may stem back to how they feel about themselves. They are uptight with their smell and wet moments. Someone may have made this not safe or a pleasant experience with pleasant smells. If you have ever been told by someone in an intimate moment that you are gross down there, then you may forever have issues. If you never had a sexual experience before with anyone else or this may be a first. If it is a first time experience for her did you help her to feel comfortable about sex and all it's possibilities (positions)?
The other thing that may be helpful for you two, is dating still....yep keeping it exciting. Keeping the romance alive. Wasn't it more exciting when you were first dating and courting. Romance,romance,romance. Make her feel sexy and make your day all about foreplay. Tease each other. Touch and kiss but don't make it all about going all the way. This may spark up the frequency of your sexual encounters. Really sharing and being in love. This may open up the experimentation end for your girl. She may want to try stuff without any repercussions or sense of failure. Come on girl!!! Tease her..... Whoo her!
Now let's get to the fact that she may never open up to what you want. This will cause a bunch of anxiety and possibly animosity. So what are you going to do???? You already have thoughts about cheating, but feel guilty???? Sometimes you can love a person, but being cookoo in love is a different story. It may come to the realization that you may need to split and start dating other women and see where that goes. You can still be friends and you can get back together but, you may have to realize that you are not going to get what you want from her. So best friends may be where you should be. Life is too short and you need to get all the things you want. If you can not go there then you need to get your fantasies gone and love who you are with inside the bedroom and out.
And so, I always think these are good butch perspectives,
Hersband
Answer from wife,
I understand both sides of this coin, In the beginning of my friendship with Hersband she and I talked extensively about what we liked and disliked not only sexually but in life and regarding child rearing. The talking didn’t stop there thou we still talk about everything. Now in your situation, I think it is a great possibility that your girlfriend possibly has issues with sex because of her childhood, I know that I had a problem in the beginning because of childhood abuses and teachings that just don’t go away. Thankfully I have a very understanding Hersband that was willing to work thru issues with me and figure out the root of my issues. Since I have found the root, I have found a solution and (not to let any secrets about my sex life) our sex life is more freely expressive.
If your girlfriend is not comfortable with cunnilingus don’t force it but discuss what about it causes her disgust, is it taste, smell, texture, she cant breath during, etc….. I know for me it was just the idea of it, I wasn’t sure exactly what, just the idea in general. I loved getting, just not giving. How selfish was that? Upon examination of my ideas I realized if I could kiss my girl after I got, why wouldn’t I be able to give? Wow what a concept, so now there is no big deal, the only thing I have to get to now is I have to be in the mood for it. But then I have to be in the mood for any sex act, but isn’t that being a good femme?
Here are some tips to try before you try going down on her the next time that may change the tides.
•Start by kissing her romantically, and moving your hands all over her body slowly. (STAY AWAY FROM THE BUSH)
•Try kissing her neck and shoulders, whisper something sweet and sexy in her ear. ( Still stay away from the bush)
•If you seduce her entire body with your hands and mouth but stay away from the sweet spot (THE BUSH) you will make her want you.
•Start kissing her at the top of her body, then slowly move down her body every now and then licking and flicking her body with your tongue, moving down her legs and even kissing her inner thighs paying special attention to the portions around her sweet spot but NEVER going there just yet.
•She should be hot and begging you by now. Slowly dive in kissing the outer parts of her sweet spot., then ….
DIVE IN GIRL DIVE IN!!!!!!!!!
One other thing to think about is before you even think about going for sex the next time why don’t you suggest that both of you jump in the shower together since this may be a cleanliness thing for her.
That is just my humble opinion as a femme,
Wife
2006-10-05 06:32:41 · answer #9 · answered by hersbandandwife 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get the toy honey!!! notin wrong with toys and it might just get her motivated!!
2006-10-04 22:11:12 · answer #10 · answered by brandy t 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋