Most ppl. say that the initial one or two years are the most important and the most dificult one so all you married couples out there, please share your experiences............all of them Bitter and.....better both.
Thanx!
2006-10-04 22:06:17 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The lst two years are a transitional phase and you are learning to actually live together and blend 2 seperate lives. The first couple of years after having a child because you don't usually get a good night's sleep and your entire world shifts and all the attention is laid upon the child leaving very little room for the marital relationship to be nurtured.
Around the 7-8 year mark another transitional period often referred to as the 7 year itch. A restlessness can occur in either spouse but doesn't necessarily have to.
At the 12 -15 year mark ; there is a sort of lull and your love grows to the next stage and isn't as exciting and you start reminiscing about what was and want that adrenaline sort of lust you initially had. This is a critical point within a marriage as routine gets monotonous and as you can read here in the net many start surfing and seeking the spark somewhere else.
For me the hardest time for my marriage was the first 2 years; I had to go from my parents providing me with everything I wanted and always the best of everything (no budget) to learning how to live off of what my husband and I earned. It sucked cause it wasn't anywhere near what I was accustomed to. There was a budget and I didn't have a live in maid or chef and was forced to do these things for myself. I returned home frequently and was unable to deal with married life. Until one day my husband said he had enough and if I didn't come home and act like a wife then he would rather be without one. Well, I went home and learned how to build a life with him. That was 20 years ago.
2006-10-04 23:19:55 · answer #1 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's different for every couples. I know couples who had a fairy tale magical first 2 years full of fun and romance. Then after time goes on, the newness wears off, they have kids, get stuck in a routine, they start having problems. I know couples who had a very difficult time adjusting and had a lot of problems in the beginning, then they stop being stubborn, compromise a lot, get used to each other and things get better. My opinion is that the whole thing sucks!! Anyway you never know how yours will be until you experience it yourself.
2006-10-05 05:10:16 · answer #2 · answered by BereaGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I were happily married for 5 years and three kids. Then we began to not communicate this continued till now at 13 years she does not love me and we are headed to divorce. The three kids world is about to implode and I feel soooo bad for them. Communication is the key sometimes its easier to tell a total stranger what bothers you more than a person you love. Another problem area is listening. Excellent communication cannot be effective unless both parties are listening to what is being said. Good luck
2006-10-05 05:47:00 · answer #3 · answered by fortyninertu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After five years in my opinion because the spark of sexual attraction begins to wane and you still have to find ways to make the relationship work for the both of you. It is by no stretch of the imagination easy. I would do anything for my wonderful husband because he is my best friend after eight years together but the spark is gone but the love is still their. Its just a natural normal part of marriage. One must learn to be very creative so as not to make your partner feel unwanted.
2006-10-05 05:11:04 · answer #4 · answered by soniaatcalifornia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in my second year of marriage. I cannot say that it is always easy. Me and my husband have both dominant personalities, and sometimes it's just hard for me to do things as he wants...I want to do things my way...It's hard, because we have little time to spend together, which sometimes can be very stressful.I am in such a period now, so my answer might sound a little pessimistic.
The good things for me are...when we can have breakfast or dinner together...when we go out...when we go on a trip...when we just embrace eachother and talk...
2006-10-05 05:16:51 · answer #5 · answered by charmed 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the hardest thing is getting ajusted to there life style everyone is raised different and do things different even if its were to sit the garbage can or something off the wall like that i would half to say thats the tuff part but you just half to do what makes each other happy the easiest thing is being faithful
2006-10-05 05:08:47 · answer #6 · answered by lilcavichick 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think I have to agree with the 1st 5 yrs. of marriage. It seems to take awhile of getting used to being around that person and growing into each other's mold.
2006-10-05 05:20:04 · answer #7 · answered by ~just_jd~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me and my wife are so happy together, but there is still tension going on between her and my parents. Word of advice: make sure that she and your parents get along well from the beginning.
2006-10-05 05:15:34 · answer #8 · answered by gnomus12 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you can't communicate, and when you try to tell them what is hurting you, all you get is character assination. so after awhile you begin to shut down, and after awhile there is no working out problems, your afraid to even talk for fear of being emotionally hurt.than there is loss of hope when this happens divorce is coming.
2006-10-05 08:59:47 · answer #9 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The hardest time is between signing the marriage certificate and the time you die. Everything else is a cakewalk.
2006-10-05 05:10:08 · answer #10 · answered by adphllps 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋