I am a virgin...but I have done other stuff. I am more drawn to the penis than I am the vag. However I have strong urges to kiss and am attracted to women. They are beautiful and sexy! The most I've done with a woman is make out. I don't think I would ever want to go down on a woman unless I was really in love. (which I once felt like I was in love but she had a serious boyfriend and I don't think she quite felt the same way so I forced myself to forget about it). I think I would enjoy going down on a guy,(one thing I haven't done yet) as long as we were in a serious relationship. Also, straight sex sounds really good to me and I'd love to have it some day. So am I straight or bi or lesbian in the making??? What should I do? Persue a lesbian relationship at the risk of upseting family and friends? Or disregard those urges as just a faze?
2006-10-04 21:52:11 · 6 answers · asked by bluesmongre 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I am 23 and female if you missed that...
2006-10-04 21:54:53 · update #1
You have to be true to who you are - I was with women and with men and felt the same way about the one issue that you address concerning what you may or may not want to do to a woman. I loved my relationships with women and with men - they taught me so much about who I am. Long term though - I am with a man.
I really don't consider what "sexual preference" I could be categorized into - I am more focused on the individual and always have been.. if I was attracted to a woman, I would be with her - and to a man, him. I wanted to live out those desires and I don't regret for one second that I did. However, I knew that most likely I would not be with a woman long term - meaning for the rest of my life. We were together for over a year but my family never totally knew.. I think they suspected with all the time we spent together and how upset I got when we were fighting and then when one day we were just not "friends" anymore - and it was hard for both of us.
The most important thing is that you be true to yourself . You are the one who has to wake up and go to sleep every morning with those desires - which one day could be regret if you don't act on them because of your fear of your family and friends not accepthing this. Your friends should though - they are your friends and should accept you regardless though I know how people can be. I had mentioned this to a friend in high school that I was attracted to this other girl and this was before people thought it was "cool" to be bi or something like so many people do now.. it is funny - but anyway, those "friends" were really not cool about it - not accepting and treated me strangely afterwards.. really. So - that is a risk you take but you will know who is your friend - unconditionally and who is not. It is more difficult with family as they have expectations and hopes and think they have known you your whole life.. and they may be disappointed. This was the reason why I did not tell mine we were a couple - it would have killed my dad - and really upset my mother - even though all they wish for is my happiness - So, that decision is up to you - there are some lesbians or bisexuals that won't even date a person who is not "out - out". I was totally "out" with her in public and yea we got looks but I didn't care - I just didn't want to hurt my family. But - I didn't want to suffer myself and spend the rest of my life wondering if women were better for me or if I was not being true and living true to the person that I am. You have to figure that out.
So my advice, though it sounds like you are bi or bi-curious would be to not worry so much about exactly what category you fall into - we don't all need to see things black and white - there are shades of grey too. Maybe it is based on the individual and their gender just is what it is - that comes second to you - that is how it is for me - or was. Now I don't think I will be with a woman again - even though sometimes I still feel a strong attraction to some of them. Don't feel like you have to "confess" to everyone though - this is more about you - not them.
I would say to go on your journey and try to figure out what you want and if being with a woman is something that you could even do long term - it is like having a best friend who is also your lover but in a way that is different than when your boyfriend is also your best friend - cause you are two women I guess that is why - it is very special, it is a really great experience so I would say to live out those desires - be who you are. We should never hide that - you never want to look back one day and think what if.. and why didn't I - regret can be torture. So - I think you should do some self exploration and some exploration into other women and relationships with them and then maybe you can worry about letting your family know but before then.. before you are totally sure about this, I don' t know that you should - but do if you want to.. I am sure they love you unconditionally and though it may hurt them, they will most likely accept it over some time.
Good luck - just remember - be true to who you are - that is the most important thing
:o)
2006-10-04 22:07:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that the urges you are feeling are normal, more so as the thought of being with a guy for any virgin is a scarey prospect as there is a level of intimacy that you require in order to move to a more physical level. Also, lets not forget the fact that penetration is almost an act of violation to some and a very difficult act to surrender too. Give yourself more time and wait, as I get the feeling that you are just finding it easier to be with a girl rather than persue a hetrosexual relationship, so don't do anything you might regret. Although given some of the hetroxsexual idiots who trash this forum its perfectly understandable to want to be a lesbian than to be with one of them. God understands and says wait. Time reveals all.
2006-10-04 22:06:55 · answer #2 · answered by God 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
go with what gets you at the time...m-or-f dosnt matter sexuall attraction is just that no need to put a lable on it-good luck and have SAFE fun!!
2006-10-04 22:03:16 · answer #3 · answered by brandy t 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore labels do what you want and be happy about it.
Peace...
2006-10-04 23:45:02 · answer #4 · answered by JVHawai'i 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just dont label yourself babe
you are not a can of soup on a shelf, just be YOU
2006-10-04 21:54:36 · answer #5 · answered by ☺Everybody still loves Chris!♥▼© 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NORMAL IS STRAIGHT SEX GAY SEX IS TAUGHT
2006-10-04 21:55:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋