Help, my wife does not get on with my mother at all, and now we have had a child she does not let my mum see?

Question

him. what can i do

Answer 1

You have to take your child to see your mother yourself and stand up to your wife. I wasn't allowed to see my dad's mother because my mum didn't get on with her and ended up visiting her in secret. My mum found out (after my gran had died) and hit the roof. I lost respect for my dad because he didn't stand up to my mum and did not respect my mum because she acted less grown up than me as a 12 yr old.

Answer 2

This happened to me, and I am the "mum". You are the man in the family, and it is your child too, so just tell your wife that you will let your mum see the baby, as I bet her mum sees it all the time. You have to assert yourself or she will be running the show and all over you from now on. I know, because that is exactly what happened in my case. My son's wife calls the shots, but he just now is waking up to how wrong she has been all these years. It is too late, however, the kids are getting older now and they live in another state. The kids just found out what all she has done, and they do not like the fact that their mother took their grandparents from them when they had a chance to see them and have an extended family. I tell you, what goes around, comes around. In the end, or at the end of the day, it won't be pretty when the child is aware of what your wife has taken from him. Assert yourself now, or go to counseling. Wives like that are very territorial, controlling and unwilling to change. Think about that, as it will follow you unless you do something about it now.

Answer 3

It's up to you dude. If your mother has been a pain in the a*s, then tell her so. Time to be a man to mom. Now if thats not the case and your wife is just being a bi*ch, then let her know that also. Gently, tho. You gotta live with her. Then take your son over to see your mom without your wife for a couple of hours at a time. Not for payback, but your mom deserves to get to know him.

Answer 4

I think ur wife is being very selfish denying ur son the right to have a relationship with his grandparents!!
Have you tried talking to ur wife about this?
Can you not take ur son to visit ur mother?

I would sit down and explain to ur wife the awful predicament she is putting you in and state that you will be taking ur son to visit ur mother and that ur NOT going to allow her to use ur son as a weapon!!

An even better solution would be if they could resolve their issues in a mature adult way and stop sulking and using u a go-between. However, if they feel that they cannot do this then they should accept that each of them are an important part of the child's life!!!!

Good luck x

Answer 5

Get a bit patient and try to work out .. Tell your wife that she will deserve the similar treatment from your son ...

Make sure that you also tell your wife and mother Not to use the Kids as a tool for harassement .. If it is not working ask your parents to file a case on your wife for visitation rights .. they can get to meet the kid for atleast 2 times a month for a few hours ..

Regards
Sameer
http://sameer-shaikh.blogspot.com

Answer 6

Husbands always make the mistake of thinking that they need to take sides. What you need to do is play nice to both. You need to understand that your mom thinks that she has the right to make decisions for you as she gave birth to you. Your wife thinks that you need to stand by her as you choose her to be your wife.

Be nice to your wife, buy her pretty things and say nice things to her. Also tell her that your mom likes her very much. (Little white lies will not kill you).

With your mom, avoid saying nice things about your wife as she might be jealous but tell her that your wife said something nice abt her.

Tell your wife that it will mean the world to you if she could let your child see his/her grandmother and if your wife is not comfortable, volunteer to bring the child yourself. Bring home something nice for her.

You need to be a really good middle person. Do not take sides. If someone says something bad abt the other, correct the person diplomatically. Never ever aggravate the matter by being flustered or hands-off from the situation. Remember, you are the cause of their rivalry.

Answer 7

Step 1 : Ask yourself, what is the importance of your mother in your life.if she is important enough then follow step 2.

Step 2 : Ask your wife for a talk on this matter, if a solution comes up, then fine

Step 3 : if there is no solutio, and still she has the same behaviour for your mother, then follow the same for her dearest one. There will be an automatic solution.

Answer 8

That is completely out of order,and i think you need to be tougher the child is yours as well,and your wife is using her as a weapon!I dont get on that well with my mother in law but i would NEVER stop my kids from seeing her. Donna

Answer 9

You should be backing your wife up she and your child are your future,your mother must of done something for your wife to behave like this.Some mothers are very manipulative and can look sweetness and light in front of their sons but can change towards the daughter in law when their son is not around.It's all down to jealousy.

Answer 10

Whatever differences she has with your mother, she can't keep your child hostage like that. It's not fair to either of them.

While you can't force her to see your mother, why don't you compromise on taking your child for the day by yourself over to your mother's house. Or have your mother come over and your wife can take the day off-- go to the spa to relax on her own. She might agree to some precious time to her self!