clean house, and get more money if he bounces a check- he may work a new job for a few days before he quites, he screams and sometimes is on the verge of being evil. He screams at our son and he gets so nervous- i want to leave him but i am in so much debt i cant afford a place- we live with his mom- and he had me let my step dad touch me for money and now if i leave him he wants full custody and he will tell my family- I only did it to make him happy and get him money over 4 years ago. what else can i do- i cant get another loan i have 5 i cant get a payday loan i have 3 here and 4 online- i am broke all the time and he gets so mad at me i cry everynight. he leaves the house walking when i make him so mad- if i go to find him he hides and i have to beg him to get in the car, he throughs the keys out and i have to find them, if i dont go get him he calls every 5 minutes- why arent you trying to find me---he can be nice at times- if i make him mad (evryday) i have to give a bj .
2006-10-04 19:36:56 · 20 answers · asked by What Do you Think? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
help me find peace or a way to not make him mad- he is not phyisically abusive- i dont know what to do to make him happy- i want to tell him how much i hate it but as i said before i have no place to move to.
2006-10-04 19:39:18 · update #1
Oh-My-Goodness.
Ill just put it this way, We only have this one life right now.
We dont know if we'll be able to come to Earth and do this again. Don't waste your beautiful life on an IDIOT.
Get like Tina Turner and run! This is also an abusive situation for your child to watch.
If he's broke. he cant sue you for custody anyway.
He's not going to stop as long as you let him. He knows youre going to beg him to come back. He's playing head games with you! You dont have to be imprisoned with a crazy brat of a man if you dont want to.
Theres a higher power that brought you to earth to have a beautiful life and a beautiful child. Love yourself!
Slavery ended a long time ago, Why are you being one?
It sound like this will be your life forever until you make a move. Get some strength. Have courage. Have FAITH.
I personally would like to knock-him-out!
2006-10-04 19:53:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you're in a real pickle. About the touching thing - NEVER EVER admit to doing it (to ANYONE). If you were to apply for divorce, he & the in-laws WILL use that to try and prove you an unfit mother. Deny deny deny!
Sounds like this @sshole has you dependent on him. He's got you so broke, you have nowhere to turn. Not good. You need to squirl away some money. Do you have any family around? How close do they live to you? You need someone you can trust, ie... a parent. Send them some money, $10-20 a payday. You'll get in a tight spot again and will think about borrowing from the fund, but don't. Save up, and then get the hell out of there.
You're not doing yourself or your son any favors by putting up with this abuse. Women (such as yourself) go through this so often, that after some time, they consider this as 'normal' behavior. You know your situation is ******-up as well as I. Have you thought about talking with a Social Worker? There are programs out there to help women like you. You & your son NEED this.
Also, pray that your husband doesn't find out that you're posting here. He can use it against you (the touching thingy). Keep your password a secret and delete any links to this site. All you have to type in to get here is: answers.yahoo.com. Try Bearshare or something and get a program such as Window Washer. Use this after surfing and he'll NEVER know where you've been. Can't be too careful, have to protect yourself.
2006-10-05 03:04:30 · answer #2 · answered by Larry F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start compiling a journal or list of his wrongdoings. Start seeing a lawyer and compiling a list of assets. Start finding your help. Whether it be family or state assistance. My friend found a government assisted program where she can take classes and buy a house on her own in 2 years or less. She also gets WIC (women, infants, and children) welfare for assistance so she can afford to move into her own place in the meanwhile. Section 8 housing is also a choice, but there is usually a waiting list. Don't wait, if he is abusive mentally or physically, it will only escalate. I went through the same thing and am now happily married to a NORMAL person, you deserve the same!!!!!! He may say you are worthless, and try his "tricks", but get a lawyer, possibly pro bono or legal aid and get to a shelter before this guy hurts or kills you or your kids!!!!!! He is portraying the signs!!! I have been through it and there is a better way. I had to live with my mother for a couple years but it was better than his mental, verbal and physical abuse!!!!!!! Get out while you can still save yourself!!! Get out and make a better life for your kids!!! Good Luck!
2006-10-05 02:53:04 · answer #3 · answered by bubblingbroo 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh honey, i feel so sorry for you...the games he is playing with you by hiding away and waiting for you to go "find" him seems to me that in his mind he is actually seeing if you will ever really leave him. he has a serious problem i suggest that next time he goes you leave him there dont go looking for him, when he returns, even if it is a week later make sure you are gone, with your kid, he can tell your family what he wants, jsut deny it as im sure your stephfather will too ( but this was bad girl..very bad)
there will be a womens shelter where you can stay on with your child for a while, your husband wont get your child as he doesnt have or can keep a job. if you dont get out soon you'll be sucking lollypops for the rest of your life dear. do whats best for your son and give him alife he deserves.TC
2006-10-05 04:30:50 · answer #4 · answered by mercia b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this for real? I'm sorry this sounds a little far fetched.
If this is real... Why would you want to hang around this guy? Being sent to prison in the same cell as a ruthless sex maniac would be a better life than hanging around this scumbag.
Does he honestly believe that the court would give full custody of a child to an out of work, abusive, manipulitive bum who pimped his wife out to her stepdad? I doubt he'd even get to see the child one weekend or holiday a year.
There are places that help abuse victims... Do you honestly think this is what a good man does to his wife and child that he says he loves? There are a lot of sympathetic people to single abused mothers...
2006-10-05 02:51:50 · answer #5 · answered by James B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello, pick up your kids and leave. There are many women's shelters out there that will help you to take care of yourself .Move in with your parents. Sister ,Brother or a Aunt or Uncle until your able to help yourself . Get yourself a little self worth back by showing him that his behavior is unacceptable . If you let someone get a way with hitting or yelling or just plain old abuse . They feel it is OK only to know that in time it will get worst. You must take a bold stand in order for him to get the big picture . If you can't respect yourself , why would he ? Be strong and be smart. Don't go back until he has proved to be a better person in life . This wont take a few days , it may take a year or more . Behavioral changes are hard to do . You need to want to change first and your not going to change him yourself . He has to want it for himself.... Please get out and don't go back...Be smart
2006-10-05 02:50:59 · answer #6 · answered by marshoberg55 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take your kids & leave. You deserve better. Ask family members or friends for a place to stay, until you can get back on your feet. If he loved you he wouldn't let your step dad touch you for money, & you shouldn't have to give him a b*** j** if you make him mad, you should tell him to s*** his own d***!!!!!!!!!!
I'm just a teenager, but I know a marriage is NOT suppose to be like that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You are a very strong person to have put up with that, so don't worry you will make it :)
2006-10-05 03:09:57 · answer #7 · answered by No Kitty Cat for you!!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have friends to let you move in for a little bit before you save up enough money to find yourself a place stay at? Since your husband does not work, so with you leave him or not, doesn't really matter to your debut, does it? You for sure have to leave him for you and your child's good. You do not want your children around with such bad influence. He is absolutely a looser, no doubt about it.
2006-10-05 02:48:05 · answer #8 · answered by Mochi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this sounds terrible for you,,it would be easy to say leave him but it would seem you may not be able to that quite so simply,,what would his mum and dad say if you had a word with them about your husband getting a job to help with all the debts and bills,,,the way you seem to be being treated is appaling and the way your husband seems to try to destroy your self confidence is telling of his attitude as a father and husband,,i would advise,if there are any,,getting support from outside agencies regarding your marriage,,maybe counselling? something has to change for you but to be honest,,i dont think these options are that available for you,,what would happen if you and the child just left?moved away,if possible?
2006-10-05 02:45:38 · answer #9 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK what i would do if i was you i would go to the homeless shelter and i would go to welfare department and tell them you situation and they will pay for you a house and give you help for food and things like that and i would tell him where to go and tell him you will see him in the child support line latter with the rest of us. don't be shy that's what people do when they need help.you cant live like a two year old kid all your life.some people think so.the rest of us have to work every day. good luck hope this helps you out
2006-10-05 02:55:08 · answer #10 · answered by blazer45778 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋