Im 45 year old man, i have been married for 20 years now, and i have a son of 16, the last 5 years i didnt see my family more than 5 days in a month due to my work.
The last 6 months i have been with someone else of my work, she is 25 and i feel that for the first time in my life i fall in love, i have been thinking get the divorce and be with this girl. . but i dont know if take the risk and leave my family, because all the time that i have share with my wife, despite that she has now have her own life.
I dont know if this is a crisis of my age, i dont know if this girl will be ok with me when i look my age, what will happen with the difference then, she say that she dont care and isn ot a problem but i dotn know.
What do you think.. shall i have to take the risk ??
2006-10-04 18:33:51 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
statistics show that most relationships like this don't work. since you've cheated, there will always be a trust issue with the new girl-what's to stop you from doing the same to her? and she's probably attracted to you because you have been unavailable (for reasons i won't get into at this time). Also, you've been with your wife for 20 years, do you dislike her so much that you're willing to possibly destroy her self-esteem, and your family-your comfort zone-for a probable phase? try and picture your life in this way: telling your wife, getting an attorney, dividing 20 years of accumulated items (furniture, dishes, autos, every item in the home) telling your son about it and that he'll be spending time with you in your small, impersonal, lonely apartment eating tv dinners and watching tv. holidays alone, friends divided, the thought of when you're 70 years old and being alone at the grocery store. the 25 year old has nothing to lose, you have a life partner to lose. is she really worth the gamble? if your marriage is over, going directly to another relationship is the worst thing you can do. you can't be happy with anyone until you are happy with yourself. get a different job, spend more time with your family, figure out why you married her in the first place. doesn't she deserve at least that? she stuck by you in your physical and probably emotional absence for a long time. you owe it to her and your son to try and stick it out. good luck from a meloncholy divorcee.
2006-10-05 02:55:47 · answer #1 · answered by jules 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes we consider lust as a form of Love..Do u ever sit and wonder maybe you love/like this girl because she is young and she makes you feel younger?
You did not say if you are happy with your wife or not..
I dont think its right for you to leave your family. You have kids..They are the one who will suffer the consequences of having a divorce parents..
Dont take the risk for something that you will just regret on the end. You cannot return back the things once youve done it..
Temptation is everywhere, its just a matter on how you will handle or resolved it. She is still young, what makes you so sure about yourself that she really loves you? What if the next 10 years when you are already old, she will take care of you?
Think about this way..having a gap for more than 20 years is really difficult..because of your level of understanding in life..Once you and her are living together, you will realize everything..
We cannot tell you what to do.. You have to find out with yourself..THink carefully and balance it..If youre ready to take the risk, go for it..
2006-10-05 03:10:00 · answer #2 · answered by just me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are 45 she is 25 that means that when you where 20 she was just born sorry no offence but that's gross think about it that's like your sun would have sex with a new born in for more years,ewww.
Look shes 25 that's young she wont be happy when shes in her mid 30 and your 60, looks count she will be in her prime sex life and you will be going down hill.
Appart from that your wife dosent deserve that I hope that shes finds someone that really appreciates her.
So in the end what I am saying tell your wife but don't stay with her she probably do sent deserve you.
Good luck to her
2006-10-05 02:11:09 · answer #3 · answered by santpris 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't take unesessary risk just a crisis and once the new relationship get old so will you be in her life style get real she
s out for gun and giggles but will dump you sooner then later keep you morals intact with your family
2006-10-05 01:38:07 · answer #4 · answered by aldo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that whole midlife crisis thing is lame.....as for the girl at your work, let me guess--your either her boss or supervisor...get a clue
take the risk and you will have ruined the lives of your wife and son....
2006-10-05 01:38:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldnt if my wife makes me happy! but its your life! every1 has a life other than there spouse nothing wrong with that! but if your willing to lose your family for some1 who could lead u on tell you what you want to hear maybe take all you've got then go ahead like i said its your life!
2006-10-05 01:42:37 · answer #6 · answered by dominicana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the 25 year old will dump you with in a year she likes the fact your married , just for casual sex she wants no more
2006-10-05 01:47:55 · answer #7 · answered by jac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've already taken the risk....be honest with your wife....after all of these years she deserves at least that....
Good luck!
2006-10-05 01:36:29 · answer #8 · answered by stillsweetp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋