My husband believes so, he calls the woman a "zonah". He says that men shouldn't have sex with their wives when they are menstruating which I agree with. However, sometimes when I'm on my period he will go to his zonah and have relations. I guess it isn't my place to say what he is doing is wrong but it does hurt me some that he does this. He tells me not to worry about it and that he loves me the most which makes me feel better, but I still feel like I am not good enough for him. Am I wrong for being upset?
2006-10-04 17:45:34 · 53 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
hell no, to the above question, there is no excuse for it
2006-10-04 17:47:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not wrong for being upset about your husband having a zonah or all the other abusive things he does, but what are you going to do about it? http://www.leavingabuse.com/powerwheel.html
I have read your other questions and answers and it seems that you are quite submissive to your husband and he is quite abusive to the point of humiliating you. You are 19 and this probably is very appealing to your 30 year old husband. In a few years you will be less attractive. What will you do as your husband becomes more abusive and stops awarding you "points" for your submissive behavior but blames you more and abuses you more because as you age you will not be so attractive?
With a man who is as controlling and abusive as your husband, you cannot expect ever to have a good relationship, yet if I suggest to you that you go to a women's shelter with your baby, you will likely not do it. Maybe if you understand that your baby will be affected by the relationship between your husband and you that you may consider what is best for your child. If the child is a girl, she will be more likely to be with an abusive man when she grows up. If the child is a boy, he will be more likely to be an abuser of women when he grows up. Is that what you want for your child?
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Zonah is a Hebrew word for prostitute. Is your husband Jewish? I suppose that it is an interpretation of what Jacob (Israel) did with his 2 wives and their handmaidens so that they had 12 sons. It was a shame for a man not to have a son. Women would curse every time they had a period and were not pregnant.
Maimonides, writes in 'Prohibitions on Sexual Intercourse' that every Gentile woman is regarded as N.Sh.G.Z. -- acronym for the Hebrew words niddah, shifhah, goyah, zonah (unpurified from menses, slave, Gentile, prostitute). Upon conversion to Judaism, she ceases indeed to be niddah, shifhah, goyah but is still considered zonah (prostitute) for the rest of her life, simply by virtue of having been born of a Gentile mother.
According to the Torah, a man is forbidden from having sexual intercourse with a niddah, that is, a menstruating woman. The time of separation begins at the first sign of blood and ends in the evening of the woman's seventh "clean day." This separation lasts a minimum of 12 days.
I could not find out whether it is permissible for a man to have sex with a prostitute when his wife is niddah. Muslims seem to have the same prohibition of sex during the woman's menstruation. So, I do not know whether your husband has any real grounds for having sex with a prostitute when you are menstruating. Personally, I would not approve of my husband having sex with a prostitute at any time. If you are content with your husband's loving you more then perhaps it is OK for you. I would not want my husband to love any woman other than me.
2006-10-04 23:23:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have no idea how much trouble I'm going through to answer this question. My computer crashed 3 times trying to find the word 'zonah'
Okay, short version. Zonah means prostitute. I was raise Christian so the word " adultery " comes to mind in this scenario. Not just a hell-worthy trespass, also ground for divorce in the USA.
Having once been married in the Christian tradition, the words " Love Honor and Cherish " also come to mind. Now as I understand it, the meaning is fairly similar with most faiths. And, in the USA, since a marriage is also legally binding, that generates another factor.
But, before my computer crashes again... Does a man have the right to sleep with another woman while she's on her period? No! God says so and so does American Law. Besides, if he really loved you, he'd see how much it was hurting you and stop. -best wishes.
2006-10-04 18:19:56 · answer #3 · answered by Odindmar 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO! He is cheating on you and no you are not wrong for being upset! If your husband loved and respected you he would have "zonah"! If you and your husband agree that you shouldn't have sex while menstruating, then he should just wait the few days that it lasts or take "care of himself". And sweetie, it is your place to say what he is doing is wrong...you are his wife, You took vows to "keep yourself unto each other". If my husband tried to do anything like that...well he wouldn't be my husband any longer.
2006-10-04 17:54:53 · answer #4 · answered by katydid 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl where are you from? And what do you and your husband consider a marriage to be? I, myself, believe marriage vows are never to be broken, a marriage bed to never be defiled. Just because you are on your period does not mean you can not be intimate in some sort of way. If the both of you are uncomfortable with that....he just needs to chill for a week or so. Zonah? cheating is what it is, adultry, plain and simple. Your husband is being selfish and you are letting him.
2006-10-04 18:39:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you must be out of your mind to put up with this kind of behavior....Once a couple says, "I DO" then that's it! They are not supposed to get sex from anywhere else...He's a fool and you are allowing this to go on! Put a stop to it now! There are other things you can do for him during that time of the month. Tell him no more sexual relations with other people ANYTIME of the month or his butt is out! Let him know you aren't going to put up with that anymore then throw him down on the bed and give him a B J or a hand job....keep him at home if you love him. If not, then leave or make him leave. If you can deal with this type of behavior then find you someone to keep you company while he's out. You are NOT wrong for being upset! Anybody would be upset about this crap.
2006-10-04 17:53:30 · answer #6 · answered by buzzbait0u812 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it IS your place to say! And NO NO NO he doesn't have the right to have sex with another woman while he's married to you. What the heck is a "zonah"? Did he make this up?
2006-10-04 17:50:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Are you nuts????? Divorce him. Oh, that's right, he love's you more!!!!!! Woman like you are the reason men think it's ok to cheat. Take a stand for all of us and grow a backbone and next time he goes to his"zonah" have the locks changed!!!!!
2006-10-04 18:02:53 · answer #8 · answered by freedom4ni 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he can go out an have sex with another woman while you are on your period, then you should be able to go and have sex with another man when he is being an a**hole...which sounds like once a month. Why don't you "bank" your time and go out and have some real fun with a man who can appreciate you for who you are and not treat you like a moronic sex machine to be used and abused by a male chouvenist pig. He's a loser for treating you like this. You need to grow up and realize that he is not a good man.
2006-10-04 18:08:16 · answer #9 · answered by markgrinny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well as a matter of fact he does but he is hiding the rest of the story from you ...you have the right to have a different lover for every time he is at work a bar having a few after work at a sporting event playing or attending... out of town on business pretty much whenever and with whoever you choose...see guys usually keep this part secret...
2006-10-04 18:11:47 · answer #10 · answered by chiefof nothing 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your wrong and stupid for thinking this is OK its CHEATING tell him no more or he can have his "zonah" and you can find a man that will love and respect you because his behavior isn't loving or respectful
2006-10-04 17:50:00 · answer #11 · answered by Amy M 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋