We were married ten years and were high school sweethearts. During the mariage I found out that he was unfaithful 2x. He is still with that person. During our separation but b4 the divorce I met someone that I thought I loved too. This made the divorce much easier on me. I have recently learned that my ex still loves me too. We have 4 kids together, a lot of the same friends and we still talk w/each others families. We are both dating the other people that entered into our lives before/during the divorce. I do not want to hurt my current boyfriend but I am starting to think that I am only with him out of hurt and/or convienience. I would hate to get back with my ex just to find out that he is still a cheat. My kids miss the time with their dad, it would make them happy. Any advice???
2006-10-04 17:41:30 · 8 answers · asked by freedom4ni 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There's a very good chance that you are with your current boyfriend out of hurt or convenience. It takes time to get over a long relationship like that, and many new divorcees fall in love with the first man who is nice to them - even though he might not really be their type. It's part of the healing process, not something lasting.
Ask yourself, how would I feel if I had to spend the rest of my life with this current boyfriend? If that thought doesn't make you feel warm and fuzzy inside, then don't stay with him. Yes he will be hurt, but you are only going to get more unhappy, and he will be even more hurt when you leave him in a few years' time. It would be very unfair to use him as a convenience until someone better comes along!
There is a chance that if you get back together with your husband, he may cheat again. However, you do have 4 kids together, and it may be worth trying for their sake. If you can identify the problems that caused his cheating in the first place and fix them, then everything may work out.
Four kids in ten years is a lot. Between having them and looking after them, I wonder how much time you've had for your husband. Remember that the reason you married, was that you loved each other and wanted to spend all your time together. If you've transferred the lion's share of that love and attention to the children, then he may have felt you didn't need/love him any more and that's why he strayed.
If you do get back together, don't remarry straight away, and make absolutely sure that you don't have any more children!
2006-10-04 20:30:44 · answer #1 · answered by Kylie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-07 16:56:35 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is too short. Go with your heart. Wish my ex still loved me. I would go back to him in a minute. Been 3 years for me and I never stop thinking about him. If you can't go back into the relationship without concern or trust or forgiveness, then don't go back. You have to have all that behind you before you do. Best of luck.
2006-10-04 17:48:45 · answer #3 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you love him and can accept the fact that he is going to cheat maybe not at first but eventually he will then i say go for it you can't make the heart stop loving...
2006-10-04 17:45:13 · answer #4 · answered by Amy M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let him know how you feel i know the feeling myself i love my first wife yet very much and i will admitt it was my fault that we divorced we have.2. boys grown up now and married as well we also have.4. pretty grandchildren my first wife was and will be the one i alway love take this from a loser like me dont wait let him know how you feel i wish i had the chance but she is my .1. wife a very good woman and a will love her till i die i am not kidding . please dont make the mistake like me. let him know god bless you and your children as well call him now . ?
2006-10-04 18:00:58 · answer #5 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, Your husband cheated on you and is still with the person he cheated on you with.
2006-10-04 17:49:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheater, always a cheater. Don't do it.
2006-10-04 17:45:06 · answer #7 · answered by goldielocks123 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to www.getalife you made your choices deal with it
2006-10-04 17:44:31 · answer #8 · answered by jac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋