Am in a loving realtionship with a wonderful guy...at least I still think so. We are still together and we are now engaged. He is in the military. He is currently stationed in texas, he deploys in Jan. This is the second time for him. Well to make a long story short ... Of course like every relationship starts everything was a fariy tale. But since his been in TX his attitude had changed. he says that its just me but I can tell the differecne. My Best Friend is in his unit and they are both close so i know he is not cheating. I trust him! But I worrie becasue hes become short with me, he also gets mad very easily and just dosent have patience and has also become verbaly abusive! I know he cares for me because he calls me everyday 8 times a day when he goes weeks without takling to his family.Hes opended up to me and says that It has to do with him being away and just not being able to be home with me, that he is fustareted. Am just confused what do I do?THX for your Answers!!!
2006-10-04 17:34:19 · 7 answers · asked by MrsRuiztobe 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He is facing what many of are very lucky not to have to face. Try to reassure him that all is well between you , if he starts getting nasy to you over the phone tell him you have to go but to call you back when he calms down. You shouldnt have to take that even if he is about to deploy for the second time. Don't argue with him, don't encourage the fuss to continue.
I don't know how far apart you are from each other but I can tell you that since this is his second time to deploy I am sure he is stressed out. You said you trust him and he opened up to you. That should be enough.
My son and his wife went through this too. He was in California and she was here in Texas. He broke up with her a couple of time but she knew enough to know that it was stress and deployment that caused it..He is out now, they are together and just had a little boy last week.
Try to understand... that is all you can do... no matter how hard it is... it is worse for him..even if you think it isn't.
Wish you both all the best......
2006-10-04 17:49:16 · answer #1 · answered by mommakaye 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is preparing himself mentally for deployment. This is a major event for him. Any distancing he does, any irritability he shows is just a result of stress. He has to develop the right frame of mind to prepare for his job that lies ahead. This is an automatic thing. Its something many of us do at some point in our lives. Many teens as they prepare to move out on their own become testy with their parents, distance themselves from the family. its just a natural defense mechanism for dealing with a stressful change in life. Tell him to kick some butt and come home safely.
2006-10-04 17:41:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Myabe the pressure and thought of being deployed and just being around this war zone is getting him all nervous and tense and he's just throwing his anger out on you carelessly. From what you said it dosn't sound like he's tired of you because you mentioned he calls you eight times a day. He's probably in a lot of stress and pressure.
2006-10-04 17:40:24 · answer #3 · answered by LilSo1287 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From what you say, this probably is the effect of being in a strange situation.
But, you should not marry until his overseasduty has been over for a year, or if career, then has a good homeside assignment.
GOOD LUCK,.
2006-10-04 17:42:41 · answer #4 · answered by fata minerva 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
give it a break. military men r know to be aggressive and abusive. if he is cause of concern in these initial stages itself, what u thk future holds for u.
and a guys relationship wiht his family, speaks a lot about him. y does he not talk to him family?
i foresee more abuse in the future. r u ready to take the risk? its yr whole life at stake, imagine being stuck wi kids and a "caring" and abusive and volatile husband. who wants that? do u?
RETHINK ABOUT GOING AHEAD WI MARRIAGE.
2006-10-04 17:47:14 · answer #5 · answered by now is the time 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
he's frustrated he's not with you i have experience with that not with my fiance being in the military but my fiance being far away from me we'll argue constantly but when we're together all is well in the world
2006-10-04 17:39:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
be patient ...he is probably just stressed and tired and ready to come home-get married be happy!!!
2006-10-04 17:40:11 · answer #7 · answered by mitchell38954 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋