Here it is:
My Situation
I have decided that now is the time to admit to one of my dearest friends, who I have known since high school, that I've had a huge thing for her for a long time....I don't know how it will go, since she's been involved with her current boyfriend for about 3 years, on and off. I've been out since I broke up with my ex in June. I just don't know how to go about it...I love her and it has been breaking my heart to be around her for quite some time. I know that I would treat her better than her current boyfriend, but I don't know if she is *that* way or not...and I don't want to screw up our friendship either. Damn, I just need to know if I should go for it or not. She's been really cool towards me lately...we went to a gay pride thing together a couple of weeks ago and we've been out on informal things a few times, but I haven't said anything to her about my feelings. So what should I do? Should I go for it and risk losing a great friend/gaining a *lover*?
2006-10-04 17:01:32 · 14 answers · asked by enjoy_the_silence 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Many years ago a friend of mine who was bi told me the same thing - I was not that surprised (I looked much better back then) however I hadn't thought of her in that way and was honest with her about it. She'd always been a good, loyal, fun loving person and why should I be upset or do something so rash as to cut her out of my life. As far as we were both concerned we cleared the air and continued to enjoy each other's friendship.
True friends are hard to come by and honesty is really the only way to go otherwise it'll constantly nag at the back of your mind and if her friendship with you means as much to her as hers does to you then if nothing (sexual) comes of it you should both be able to live with it and continue the friendship.
2006-10-04 17:23:02 · answer #1 · answered by Miranda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you respect her relationship? It seems as if your wants are more important than hers. Not a very good way to treat a friend. Do you think that just because she is still your friend after finding out that you are gay that she will drop her boyfriend and start a relationship with you. I think you will lose a friend if you pursue it.
2006-10-04 17:08:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dont tell her because she will feel uncomfortable around you and stop being your friend or stop hanging around you. If she knows that you are gay then she would have gave you some type of sign that she was interested. Leave it alone and let her be happy with her man.
2006-10-04 17:05:59 · answer #3 · answered by BabyGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good luck, but friends are always better to have..... they will never leave you, lovers will! I've been married for 8 yrs next week... and I still have to say, friends are the best thing you can have....
2006-10-04 17:04:04 · answer #4 · answered by Michelle T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just talk to her, get how she feels about things, if she seems interested in it then tell her you like her a lot and see how she acts, if she dosnt seem to like that sort of thing then dont push the subject to hard.
2006-10-04 17:08:48 · answer #5 · answered by a1_friend64 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U already have her were u want her so y not go for it, u practically know every thing about her and if she is your friend now she will be your friend after.
2006-10-04 17:08:44 · answer #6 · answered by nick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look if she is gay dont u think YOU would know? i mean come one ur her close friend. u will lose your friend for sure if you show interest and she isnt like THAT....i have a gay friend and if she EVER hit on me i would like her *** it would totally gross me out !!! yuck, i mean we were friends b4 i knew she was gay then it didnt bug me so much. what can u say at that point
2006-10-04 17:07:27 · answer #7 · answered by iluvluceee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a girl like you helped me (a girl like her) come out.
tell her... you'll always wonder if you dont. but, also tell her that if it's not her thing, you wont bring it up again because you still want to be friends.
also... watch out, she may just be experimenting, and you dont want to get too deep in until she knows her feelings.
good luck. you saved my life once.
2006-10-04 17:08:31 · answer #8 · answered by jumpoutjane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How you find out so fast you love her already so deeply and you don't know what to do?.
But anyway make a date and tell her something - but not you love her forever.
2006-10-04 17:07:37 · answer #9 · answered by Toto 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell you what you do tell her in person you love her like her boyfriend loves her and would like a chance to prove it by talking to her emailing her and hanging out with her . keep the physical part on the NO HAPPENING zone ok...
2006-10-04 17:18:55 · answer #10 · answered by Da Q 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋