I live with a man for 5 years now and have 1 daughter with him.
Because of his job we move in another country( very far from mine), and i made many sacrifices(lost my job, my family, ..) to follow him
Last night he went out with his colleagues and i discover that they took room and paid girl.
When i asked him about it, he did not deny but didn't say too much
I'm so shocked and want to leave him and go back to my country. Could I? If not what can i do to forget and forgive ?
2006-10-04 16:02:10 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hi, I'm so sorry this has happened. I work with a man whose wife also lives in another country, and he is very inappropriate and flirts constantly, and not friendly flirting either and I just want to slap him for his wife. You and your child deserve better, but do what you feel is best and right in your heart. Pray to God, he will show you the way. God bless you and your family and good luck to you! :)
2006-10-04 16:07:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's easier to say that you forgive someone but its truly harder to say that you will ever forget. As women we never forget! If he is showing absolutely no remorse over what he did and has made no attempt at asking you to forgive him then maybe he is just taking you for granted knowing that you have left all family and native country. If you feel that he will not change and may have been doing this sort of actions more than just this once then maybe you should leave. While he is at work, start to get all your paperwork ready to be able to travel with daughter, call your family and advise them of situation (but make sure that they will not call your husband) and get their help from their side. Then when you arrive there file for a divorce and complete custody. He can not file any type of abduction or missing persons report on your/his daughter because you both do not have any sort of "custody" relationship so therefore police will not be able to say that you took your own daughter. Good luck to you in whatever decision you decide to chose but most of all you really should have protected sex with husband now that you know he has been unfaithful, if he was not being careful he may have contracted some disease. Take care and be careful.
2006-10-04 23:28:52 · answer #2 · answered by Nikie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you could since you are not married to him. But and if you want to forgive him. you have to deal with his infidelity day by day on a regular basis.. Its difficult lto trust a person after learning that he cheated on you. You will always be suspicious . For me, I don't think this is healthy and it's gonna rob you of your joy and peace of mind. Anyway, its your choice. If you choose to forgive then you better forget. otherwise you'll end up arguing over the same subject.
2006-10-04 23:25:42 · answer #3 · answered by dtmc542006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he did it once, honey... he'll do it again. I'm like an elephant, I never forget... I do forgive, but, forget, I do not. Your relationship and trust of him is shattered... you need to contact your family, ask for there support and help to get away from this guy. YOU do not need that drama and disrespect in your life.
2006-10-04 23:09:41 · answer #4 · answered by A Lady @ ALL Times 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
please beleive me if there are no other problems, obviously you love him, let it go. I used to be the paid girl and it's really not cheating. If he was picking up random bar flies or had a mistress you would be in a diffrent situation. The fact he was so open with you let's you know it was just sex. For her it was elecrity bill Good Luck
2006-10-04 23:08:11 · answer #5 · answered by stephaniewilliams414 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't internalize it. Men are dogs by nature and genetically inclined to cheat. It has nothing to do with you. It was a choice he made. It is up to you on whether you stay or not. Maybe he did it so you would leave.
2006-10-04 23:24:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not married to him. In the USA you could go where ever you wanted and turn his cheatin A$$ over to the child support recovery people and they would get child support for you from his employer.
I wouldn't stay....but you must make up your own mind w/ the little one in mind...good luck and God bless!!
2006-10-04 23:14:33 · answer #7 · answered by Cadman1965 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can only imagine the disappointment and pain you feel, do not do anything hasty, think long and hard about yourself and your daughter before coming to any conclusions. your man is very selfish to have allowed himself stray like that and the thing with men that i have heard is that once they start infidelity they can't stop or rather it takes alot for them to stop. anyway good luck.
2006-10-04 23:09:04 · answer #8 · answered by gal-next-dr 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave him!!..you don't deserve that kind of guy..just think of it, what if you're the one doing that..would he forgive you?...we have different opinion, but give yourself some pride and take your girl and go back to your country and live a normal life without him
2006-10-04 23:12:32 · answer #9 · answered by harukashin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well forgiving him is all going to be up to u but this is something u can't just turn on and off from your mind.
2006-10-04 23:15:15 · answer #10 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋