I have been divorced for 3 months. Seperated for 2. My ex has moved on. He cheated on me. How do I move on? When do I get my life back?
2006-10-04 15:11:39 · 25 answers · asked by Kathy S 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I knew too well that it's not gonna be easy being separated. Talking to experience, consider yourself to be fortunate because now you are free from the hands of a cheater. Try to look at the positive side of your problem. It happens for a reason and for a season. Bear in mind that you have to look at your life now in a different perspective. It's not the end of the world . For you to move on, I would suggest that you do not dwell on the past. Focus on the future. Envision yourself that you will be successful someday and make every effort in achieving your goal. Go to school, learn new skill or foreign language, join a support group who will encourage you and love you unconditionally, try gardening, jfind new friends, ust do anything that will keep you busy and be distracted from worrying . Last but not least, entrust everything to the Lord and He will see you through.
2006-10-04 15:34:42 · answer #1 · answered by dtmc542006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in the same situation. I just went thru the motions. I got up every morning, and readied myself for work, ate, slept and just went about life as if everything was ok and finally normal came back. The sun came out and I was ok again.
Time will take care of you. Just be patient and treat yourself like the deserving person you are. Its important that you dont take the blame for his infidelity. Go have a pedicure, or have your nails done. Make an appointment for a massage, Start exersizing every day. Plan a short trip with a friend to a museum or a movie. Do something you have never done before. and try not to be too risky. I wouldnt reccomend bunjie Jumping, but maybe a farris wheel ride or something. When my husband cheated, I turned promiscuous as all get out and I dont reccomend it, but I needed someone to show me I was desireable. If you must do that, buy condoms.
Have fun. You only live once,
2006-10-04 15:32:21 · answer #2 · answered by happydawg 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel, kinda. She didn't cheat on me but it's just been two months since she divorced me and it seems like she's happy and adjusted, and I'm still crying every time I see her (although I've progressed to not actually crying in front of her anymore and waiting until I'm in the car). It's so hard to see that someone you thought loved you more than anything is just as happy, or happier, without you, especially when you're still grieving. But I guess what's helping me is focusing more on myself and trying not to focus as much on her and what she's doing and feeling. I let myself think about her, but then I try to move on to thinking about a good thing about being single, or about being able to date again, or something like that. I'm still deep in the bad part, but it does seem to get better, and I can actually sometimes envision a day when I'll be happy and whole again (pretty much). Good luck, and hang in there.
2006-10-04 17:12:36 · answer #3 · answered by jenjubatus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As soon as you decide to. You have to focus your time and energy on other things now. It will hurt for a long time but time will heal the pain. Take at least a year to get to know yourself again. To appreciate yourself. Then you will honestly have something to offer a better husband. My wife had the same thing happen to her. Her first husband cheated on her, they broke up, got back together, he cheated again, he left again, and then she filed for divorce cause he didn't want to come back. He started a new family with the other woman that lived down the block. But she took time and learned to love herself and now she has me. Everything happens for a reason and I think that if she didn't go through that she would have never became as strong as she is today. She still hurts sometimes but never as much as before she says. The hurt stopped before she met me so she didn't have baggage to give me. Take time for you .... you deserve it.
2006-10-04 15:22:11 · answer #4 · answered by scorpio 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give yourself some time to heal... it's not a bad thing that you invested so much of yourself in your marriage. It's hard but try to focus on activities and people you enjoy and make you feel good. Start a new hobby or learn a new sport you always wanted to try. Get a new job or move to/visit someplace you've always wanted to go. Find ways to help other people... it will make you forget about your own troubles while doing some real good and bringing you into contact with decent, caring people. Remember that it's better to be alone than to be with someone who's treating you badly! Good luck to you. :>)
2006-10-04 15:22:29 · answer #5 · answered by KaM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes as long as it takes.
After a 30 year marriage I took a year to pull myself together.
Once I got out and started dating my life was back and it just keeps getting better.
The way I now view it is
Plan A: I vowed to be married for a life time.
Now I have a
Plan B: There is life and laughter after divorce.
Hang in there and know happiness and joy can still be found.
I wish you all the best on your journey.....
2006-10-04 15:21:46 · answer #6 · answered by easinclair 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Baby you are going through full on grief.. It takes years. Even when you hate em it takes forever. You see you go into marriage with all these rosy ideas. Head in the clouds. However you have now broken every vow you ever took to yourself.. i am never gonna get divorced, Marriage is for keeps, I will make it work, etc, etc, etc.
Your marriage was every thing you worked for. It really is a very traumatic time to mentally adjust. Remember for every bad day you have, God will send you a great one. It won't be easy but you will come through. Good luck, it will all be worth it in the long run.
2006-10-04 15:21:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to give yourself time to heal set your mind to getting your life back have a select few friends that you are really close to around and just take one day at a time different people takes different times find something to do every day that makes you smile and feel good about just being you when the time is right for you to get in a new relationship it will just happen you dont need to stress over things you cant change
2006-10-04 15:20:31 · answer #8 · answered by southern angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes time honey... it takes time!!! I have never been married as of yet, but have been in a very serious relationship with someone who has cheated on me... nd hurt me very badly... and all i can tell you is it hurts , but you will get over it, not totally, that will always be in your head, but you have got to help yourself move on.... talk to other men, go out more, it helps even if you have no intentions of "hooking up" with any of them, going out for a drink or a coffee never hurt ne one... and it won't hurt you!! Believe in yourself and you can achieve anything you put your mind to!! Take care and God bless!!
~CHEERS!!~
2006-10-04 15:16:14 · answer #9 · answered by Romy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A counselor once told me it can take anywhere from half to two times as long as the relationship lasted.
2006-10-04 15:48:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋