Is this a good beginning to a story:::
April gazed up at the heavy rain clouds that gathered over her head. She knew that she should be heading home but she couldn't bring herself to move her feet towards that god forsaken house. Instead she too another drag on her cigarette. But this time she didnt let it go. Maybe just maybe if she held it there long enough it would just take over. It could kill everything in it's path all her doubts, worries, pains, and hate. Maybe it'll just take all these things away untill there is nothing left but smoke. That's when the first rain drops fell. Slowly April let the smoke flow out of her. As it left her body all her emotions came back. April threw what was left of her cigarette on the ground and started walking home.
So what do you think Sad and Depressing or Creative???
2006-10-04 15:10:54 · 9 answers · asked by wannabenun1234 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
I liked it. I would enjoy to se what comes of this story. Good work. There were a few mispelled words, but simple mistakes, probably in the rush of writing you didn't notice them right away, so yeah. But anyways, I would say both creative and depressing. It was very good. I want to know about April, why is she upset, what's her story? Very good work with that. You've got talent I can see it. Good work, keep up with the story. God Bless!
2006-10-04 15:15:50 · answer #1 · answered by Loved By Someone Above 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good, and creative. You have set the scene but hopefully from there it is less reflective and comes to a solid Story. Sounds good if that was written on the back of the book. Makes you want to know the story and you don't even know about the story yet. It could still be romance, murder, action, war anything. So again I say it is good but the next two paragraphs you right will decide its fate.
2006-10-04 15:27:52 · answer #2 · answered by rangerhonor 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a great beginning to what could be a very good story...I would love to see more of it! I like the imagery of the cigarette smoke juxtaposed against the background of the raindrops...it is every evocative and haunting...more! It creates a mood of sadness but that is what you are aiming for no? I call that creative.
2006-10-04 16:08:41 · answer #3 · answered by tigerlily_catmom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Creative
2006-10-04 15:13:13 · answer #4 · answered by M N 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really liked it. It is definitely creative. It has a sense of forboding and mystery. I would like to read more. Is this your work? If so, you need to keep up the good work!!
2006-10-04 15:21:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not bad. You might want to work on subtlety: show, rather than tell outright, what the character is feeling. It's not easy to do.
2006-10-04 15:20:38 · answer #6 · answered by rainfingers 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is all three. It seems like a good beging to a story
2006-10-04 15:40:57 · answer #7 · answered by ♪~♥~♫~♥~♪ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Both
2006-10-04 15:12:04 · answer #8 · answered by You're My Wonderwall 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not bad. I think it's pretty good for a rough draft. Keep working on it.
2006-10-04 15:16:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋