have tried everything,my older son hates me,he seems happy when i'm leaving the house.They don't like to be told what to do, when i buy food my son tells me i bought crap,that i'm cheap.They
tell me i'm ugly,they criticize everything i do.I'm divorce.(He left me) and my ex, was just like that.e used to tell my kids to call me names, when he was mad,and always told the kids , someday they'll get a beautiful mom.How much can i put off? I can't control them.NOW, my ex is trying to teach them respect and all that.But things are so different with me, they won't respect me,(sniff),but they behave with their dad,but my ex and i don't talk to each other.
My house is a mess, they throw everything on the floor, and don't like to be told what to do,they tell me to shut up.CAN U HELP PLEASE ?(sniff)My ex will only see them on sunday, and doesn't what to be bother with me, telling him about the kids.
2006-10-04 14:46:41 · 8 answers · asked by fh48 d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Stop being a victim and take responsibility for your part. If they see you strong, they will change their tune. But you can't undo what's been done. You all need counseling. You can BE the beautiful mom if you want to. You can BE the person they want in their lives. (sniff) bullshit... I don't buy it for one f_ing second. Grow some balls. If you don't have a man around, you have to be the man. Take away their privileges. Take away their phones and PS2's and everything until they start showing respect for the rules of the house. ITS ALL UP TO YOU. Your actions must change, and you CANT control the actions or feelings of others... only yourself. The sniff crap is just for show. No one wants to be around a baby So start acting like the adult woman you are and cut the "feel sorry for me" bull crap.
2006-10-04 14:58:17 · answer #1 · answered by jennilaine777 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have a major discipline issue here. You really need help. Your kids are probably mad at you because they blame you for the divorce, they feel out of control and feel like they have some control when they make your life miserable. Your ex probably is compounding the problem. You probably need a strong male figure to get involved her .. perhaps your sons grandparents could help (even if they are from your ex's side). Maybe you should start attending a local church and drag your son along with you .. if you get involved in some small group at the church you will make some friends and get some moral support..maybe your son could also make friends there ..sometimes the anger is a reflection a deeper problem like loneliness or problems at school, and instead of dealing with it he is taking it out on you because you are a safe target..
2006-10-04 22:01:10 · answer #2 · answered by MeInUSA 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if the ex is the big problem here. He taught these boys how to behave when they were younger. Of course if they saw your ex treating you this way, they think they can do it too. You need to get into some family counseling. If it's unbearable, see if they can go and live with their father for awhile. Next time they start throwing things, call the police. Let them know that you are in charge and they will respect you. Good luck.
2006-10-04 21:52:03 · answer #3 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either send them to boot camp or back to their father. Apparently they are in need of some manners and you are in need of some assistance. First things first, get them out of the house for a while. Second get a maid to help you get things back in order then keep it that way. Third, take some assertiveness training. Fourth, either take them back or don't but make up your mind if you are going to be a parent or an emotional punching bag. And fifth, remember how to love. Be honest with yourself, trust yourself and care for your self, then share those feelings with others. Tell them the truth, trust them to behave as they behave and care enough to help them chnge those things which are hurting them as human beings. I put this chore last because it is the hardest thing of all to do. It requires that you examine yourself before you forget who it is you are. Your boys are getting too old to be treated like children and just told what to do. You have to start communicating with them as one loving being to another. There is amazing strength in love. You just have to learn to use it wisely. But with time being what it is , do 1-4 and then 5.
2006-10-05 02:05:43 · answer #4 · answered by LORD Z 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you need to call the police and tell them you cant control your kids and have them take your kids to juvinail jail where the will learn to respect other people also tell their father that if he doesnt help that is what you are going to do and make sure you do it
2006-10-04 21:54:37 · answer #5 · answered by southern angel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do we feel your pain put your foot down and you are the boss not them, you need help and do it now cause it gets worse believe me we been there.you have to show them you are in control and if you have to call the police do it ....and don't be scare ....you have to give respect to get respect .so do not call them names. and if they hate the food don't eat ..and if you lose it make a call...911 . and if worse comes too worse let there dad take them...... if they want to come let them beg......
2006-10-04 22:02:03 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would insist they go to family counsiling, if they refuse I would threaten them with a foster home
2006-10-04 21:50:50 · answer #7 · answered by lvwire 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to open a can of whup *** and knock them into next week.
2006-10-04 22:12:55 · answer #8 · answered by thinkaboutit2day 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋