WHY ME ? please help ? My son is 13 years old,and when he gets mad he starts screaming at me,?

Question

have tried everything,my older son hates me,he seems happy when i'm leaving the house.They don't like to be told what to do, when i buy food my son tells me i bought crap,that i'm cheap.They
tell me i'm ugly,they criticize everything i do.I'm divorce.(He left me) and my ex, was just like that.e used to tell my kids to call me names, when he was mad,and always told the kids , someday they'll get a beautiful mom.How much can i put off? I can't control them.NOW, my ex is trying to teach them respect and all that.But things are so different with me, they won't respect me,(sniff),but they behave with their dad,but my ex and i don't talk to each other.
My house is a mess, they throw everything on the floor, and don't like to be told what to do,they tell me to shut up.CAN U HELP PLEASE ?(sniff)

Answer 1

First stop sniffing, get a counselor for each child and one for family counseling then get them into anger management classes. do it before they start to hit you or act like they will. My ex done that to me, I put my son right into counseling done wonders Good Luck

Answer 2

That's realy a tough one... i watched an episode of Oprah once about controlling children's behavior, I wish you could've watched it too becuase it can really help you with your problems. There was a mom there who also has the same problem. Anyways, I recall the expert there saying that giving too much attention to the child whenever s/he's having tantrums won't work and will just cause her/him to be more aggressive. Don't always give in to what they say or want; or tell you to do; or react. You're the parent and you have the authority. Sometimes children behave unaccordingly to attract the attention of their parents, or to see how much you can go; as if challenging you. Don't scold them too often as much as you'd want to. Talk to them with authority yet motherly while looking into their eyes also to show them that you have the authority over them as a parent. By the way, it's always at the tone of your voice. You need to do things slowly. Mayb you should also try to check in your part. Maybe they don't feel your attention that much as a parent or as a mom though for you, you think you're doing your best. Just an example though! Good luck!

Answer 3

WOW!!! I'm very sorry to hear that you are going through such a hard time, when parents divorce or split sometimes kids don't know what is truly going on and if they are particularly close to one parent they will blame the other for the split, that happened with my older sibling, he blamed my mother for my parents divorce. First off I really think you need to pick yourself up, maybe go to the salon or a spa for the day get yourself to a place where you feel good about yourself forget what your son says remember he is only 13yrs. old and what 13yr. old knows what the hell they are talking about. Look at what you do for your son and your home and don't accept blame for a dirty home if your son is the one trashing it. Be confident in yourself that you are doing the best that you can with the given situation. Have you tried to give your son to your ex for awhile? I truly feel for you and if it helps at all take alittle time everyday and pray about what is going on. I'm not a religious nut or anything but I truly believe that God puts us in a situation to grow and learn, there is no random act in this world there is something that you may need to learn in this whole mess and if not you someone involved in this situation (son, ex, etc). I hope what I said helps and all works out for the best. Remember in order to make others happy you must be happy in yourself. Take care.

Answer 4

Get your act together and put some discipline into place or turn them over to their father! What do you mean they won't respect you? Loss of privileges and a couple of missed suppers might let them know to be grateful for what they do have. And by the way, since when were children any judge of beauty????? They would be learning to clean house before they got any TV, free time or friends over or outside time if they threw stuff on the floor at my house.

Answer 5

Tell him if he continues to yell, holler, or disrespect you or your home... That you'll take his bedroom door off.

Then do it if he 'challenges you' and don't put it off until later. Do it immediately!

Then explain to him (before hand) that if you end up taking his bedroom door off, he'll be without it for 14 days.

If he continues the abusive behavior towards you (after removing the door) then take his dresser drawers away.

Next, remove his bed and provide him a blanket and a pillow.

Honestly, he's acting foul towards you because he probably knows you don't follow through with discipline. The key? Follow through.

Answer 6

You don't need this. Since it was your ex's brillant idea to teach them to disrespect you, he can have them.

If they hate it so much and you can't do anything right, either they get up off their butts and do it themselves or they go live with Dad and Dad can deal with their crap. In the meantime, don't do a dang thing for them. Go on strike.

Answer 7

Let them live with their father for a little while and they will realize how good it is at HOME with their one and only mom!

Answer 8

i think you should laugh in thier face. act like it doesnt bother you. i truly feel for you.
i wish i could come over and put those lil boys in check.
you can either be stern and make them more mad, or try and find out thier weaknesses. they know yours. fight fire with fire.

Answer 9

Well, let's see:

* You're ugly
* You're divorced
* You're a bad mother

I hope your ex-husband DOES find a better-looking wife that your kids can actually be proud of.