My brother had a son 11 years ago. He committed a crime when he was 21 and gave over temporary guardianship to my parents. (My nephew's mom gave up her rights) When he got out of prison he tried to get his son back but my parents fought him on this. It went to court and since my parents have more money they were able to pay for experts and they got legal custody and my brother lost all rights. I stayed out of it. I didn't testifiy on either's behalf. The court battle lasted 2 years. When my brother lost, he gave up hope and was really angry at my parents and lost contact with his son. In the meantime my brother legally changed his last name to his biological mother's maiden name because he had a baby and doesn't want the new baby to have our parents' last name. I have tried to stay out of the middle but I did tell my dad that my brother changed his name. My dad told me that they adopted my nephew. My brother doesn't know this! Should I tell him? My dad said I shouldn't!
2006-10-04 14:30:57 · 10 answers · asked by icu812 3 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
I think you should update your brother on his son's situation. Custody battles are extremely messy and often end in hurt feelings between the parties. Rather than being a determination of what is in the best interest of the child, custody battles are often about "winning."
Your brother and your parents both have a lot of growing up to do and it isn't going to be easy. Your brother needs to realize that perhaps his parents were looking out for the best interest of their grandson. Your parents need to realize that just because they are the legal guardians of their grandson, doesn't mean that their grandson doesn't deserve to have his father in his life.
Nothing good is going to result from this situation and the person that is going to be hurt the most is your nephew. He deserves to have his father and his grandparents actively involved in his life. Your brother obviously holds a lot of resentment towards his parents, going so far as to change his last name. It appears that your parents are selfishly keeping their grandson from his father. Absent serious abuse, a father should have a relationship with his child. This is not about your parents and your brother - this is about your nephew and his right to know and love his family, whether they care for each other or not. Your nephew has a new brother or sister. The person being hurt the most in this entire situation is your nephew.
I can appreciate you not wanting to get in the middle of the situtation, but for your nephews sake, perhaps its time you do. This isn't about legal terms or judgments, this is about flesh and blood and putting aside past anger and resentment for the sake of your nephew.
Good luck.
2006-10-04 14:48:05 · answer #1 · answered by dasvidas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to cause drama by discussing this issue with your brother? It is really none of your business. Your parent took a stand for what they they was in the best interest of your nephew and the court agreed. Your brother checked mentally and bowed out of his son's life. He's made his statement about his desires.
Can anything good come of telling your brother? I think not. You'd create even more hurt feelings and chaos for your nephew. Keep it to yourself.
2006-10-04 14:48:56 · answer #2 · answered by Carl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a sad sad story. Of course you should tell your brother. He is and always will be the boys father and deserves to know what is happening with him. Your parents have been very selfish in this matter. Yet the child needs to have the every advantage tht he can have, he still needs to know and have a relationship with his real father.
2006-10-04 14:40:39 · answer #3 · answered by hoover 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, you have this dilemma... but I have a question...
Has staying out of this mess somehow left you unfulfilled in some way, that you think you've maybe missed Life? Is that why you are tempted to suddenly join the family squabble after two + years?
I think staying out was working. Stay the course, lad.
2006-10-04 14:36:33 · answer #4 · answered by open4one 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My take on this would be first to try to figure out what is best for the nephew, who is the innocent bystander in this mess. All other things being equal, I would tell brother about the situation. It will be well for him to completely understand what botching his life has cost him.
2006-10-04 14:35:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
WHAT WAS THE CRIME??????? and is your brother still a low life loser. you know everything yet you provide no important details. ethically your parents have a responsibility to not allow you to have any contact what-so-ever with your nephew.
2006-10-05 08:24:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your brother was a responsible father it would not matter who had custody he would be a part of his childs life in any wat he could. Also he and everyone should be grateful to your parents. As for what you should do?
that is your question alone follow you heart and love your brother and father and respect will show through.
2006-10-04 14:40:53 · answer #7 · answered by Sarah S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! What a predicament! Be honest with him. He should be told the truth despite how he may react. His reaction's out of yours and everyone's hands. Did his crime have anything to do with your parents taking custody and adopting? Has he paid for his crime and gone straight. (oops...too many questions from me...:)..)
2006-10-04 14:39:04 · answer #8 · answered by dad2two56 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Screw your brother! Hey that makes your nephew your daddy's son, do you live in a trailer park?
2006-10-04 14:51:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow..........trailer drama....
2006-10-04 14:45:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋