I HATE HER...AND NOW HER MOM'S DEAD...What should I do?

Question

There's this girl here at my college...and she and I HATE each other...I can't stand to even see her name written anywhere...it's too long of a story to explain why we don't like each other...we just don't....but her mom died recently....and to be perfectly honest, I didn't care at all.....but here's the thing...our boss at work (we work as tutors at school here) is going to be passing around a condolence card for all the co-workers to sign...

If I sign it, I feel it'd be wrong because I don't care, and plus I don't like the girl...if my mother died, I wouldn't want somebody I don't like to put their name on the card...but at the same time, I think I should just sign it.....but then it'd be more of an obligation thing...I'm only signing it because everybody else is....and that'd be wrong and disrespectful to sign it and not even mean it.....any suggestions?

PS: And it's not easy to forgive and forget what she did, either...that's what makes it so hard...if I sign it, it won't be sincere and I won't mean what I say....if I don't sign it, I'll feel like I'm being selfish and putting my feelings before hers....damn! damn! damn!

Answer 1

Here's a chance for you to change your tune from angry to compassionate. Sign the card and say something meaningful and mean it...Get off the hate wagon...it is destructive and takes away any charm you might have had...humble yourself end your stupid little war.

Answer 2

Well, her mom's dead, you know, you should really try to care. I mean, just because you hate the deceased's offspring doesn't mean that you should hate HER as well. That girl's mother did not do anything to you, besides giving birth to that girl you hate.
You should sign the card and try and be compassionate about it.
Also, it is easy for you to say that you wouldn't want somebody you hate to put their name on the condolence card, but I think that you would. I mean, how would you feel if your mom died and somebody didn't put their name on it just because they didn't like you? I don't think you wouldn't mind. You would be angry, and thinking : What is wrong with that person? Doesn't he/she feel the least bit compassionate?
I think that you should leave the girl out of the matter, and think about the mother instead. This whole thing does not concern the girl at all. So what if the deceased is her mother? SO WHAT??? If you didn't know that the deceased woman was her mother, I think you would sign it without any reluctance.
Repeat this after me:
THIS WHOLE MATTER DOES NOT CONCERN THIS GIRL THAT I HATE. IT ONLY CONCERNS HER MOTHER. AND IF I AM STILL SO STUPID AS TO NOT SIGN THE CARD JUST BECAUSE I HATE THAT GIRL, THEN I MUST BE REALLY SELFISH AND IDIOTIC.
OK???
You should not sign the card just because everyone else is, you should sign it because you feel sorry for her death.
If you still cannot bring yourself to feel at least a little bit sorry, then you should not sign the card at all. If anybody asks why, you shoud just tell them that you do not feel sorry for the poor lady's death, and feel that it is very disrespectful to just sign it just because everyone else is.
Although if that is the case, I have to say that you are a very shallow and bad person.

Answer 3

Take some weight off your heart and let go of the hate! Boy, your poor heart must feel really heavy. Hate eats at the soul until it's destroyed.

Sign the card. Redeem yourself. Find the compassion that is buried deep within. Even if you only sign your name. No words, just your name.

I hope you both melt the ice around your hearts. Whatever happened, you have to learn to forgive.

Answer 4

Forgive and forget. Here's a chance for you and her to make peace with each-other. You don't have to be friends, but life is to short to hate someone that you work with. Be compassionate and show your support for another human that has had something bad happen in their life. You would want the same support.

Answer 5

you hate her you say? methinks the dude protests too much!