Would you just end it all? I feel like I can't go on? Is there somebody I can talk to about this?

Question

sometimes i feel okay. then all of a sudden it hits me.. a memory.. i fight back tears.. my heart literally hurts.. its hard to breathe.. i have never had to deal with this.. it doesnt help that as soon as the word got out that i was single.. my phone rang off the hook..tons of emails and... guy after guy trying to get me to "hang out".. "go out sometime"... "finally get a chance to spend sometime together" (i am sure you get the point) all that just made it worse.. they arent him.. no one is him.. and the scary part is.. i am afraid that i will never be with anyone again.. that i will never trust anyone again.. i am alone forever... all others will be judged by him....
then the questions start.. is he seeing someone else yet? is he happier without me? was this relationship anything to him? why was i so stupid? did he really love me? did i really love him? was this just a sick joke? i am going crazy and even after a month it hasnt gotten easier.. it is getting much much harder everyday... with every good thing in my life that has happened i have gotten more sad.. i have no one to share it with..
i am alone.

Thanks Everybody
I feel much better now
I didn't know so many people cared.
It just helps so much to get it all out in the open

I appreciate all the good advice from my friends here at yahoo. Yes I think I will see a therapist on many recommendations I have had. I realise now that I truly need help

WOW that really helped I feel so good now I am smiling and laughing

Answer 1

I am going to assume you are younger...like in your teens and into your twenties? The reason I say this is because these are normal feelings when you break up with someone you feel was the only person that knew or loved you. (I will say however, in reviewing all your questions for the past three months it seems you are at least 46 years old?) But I will still say the same advice:

Please know that many many many people that you have yet to meet are waiting and going about their lives and a few of those people are going to have very good and positive impacts on your life. Be it a new lover, a new friend, a new acquaintance. There are many people out there in this world for you.....just like you. You are going to meet those that you will fall madly in love, and those who will end up betraying you. (both friends and lovers) This is why it is so important to be your own best friend , first. Share your talents, your friendship, your person. Not your body. Save that for the definite true love who takes your hand in marriage. THAT is how you will know that it is true love. Because he is willing to commit to you for the rest of your life...just like the vows...in sickness and health.

At the same time, if your depression is not temporary....meaning, you feel very deep and sad thoughts even when you were in a happy relationship you could have depression and you do need to see a doctor. There are so many medications that help replace what your brain is not producing that thwarts the depression. Don't be afraid to talk to your family doctor. Take care and keep me posted. I will pray for you.

Cyndi

Answer 2

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed myself, but trust me, you're not alone, and you will find someone new...and BETTER! I know it doesn't seem that way now, but trust me, I've been there. You WILL make it. You remember the saying.. "It's better to love and lost than to never have loved at all..?" Doesn't seem true at this point... When I was in your place, I thought the person who said that first was out of his or her mind... but it is true. When you come through the darkness, you'll see things differently. You'll be able to remember things without the pain and the tears... You'll be a stronger person because of it, and it will change you in a way you never imagined. Don't give up, there IS a light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how dim and distant it might seem. Just give yourself time to heal your wounded heart, and don't shut yourself off from the world. If you can, download some of India Arie's music from her newest CD... It really lifted me up when I was down. Hopefully it will lift your spirits and empower you, as well. Best of luck, and God bless. Keep your chin up.

Answer 3

It would definitely help you to see a counselor. Memories are remnants from our past. Sometimes they serve to make us better people.

I would try NOT to dwell on whether your ex is seeing someone else. If you truly cared about him, you would want whatever is best for that person, whatever makes them happy.

There are no mistakes, only lessons. Try and think about that statement. We all learn lessons in different ways. The trick is to not repeat the same lessons, but to learn the lesson the first time around.

I don't think that dating is the answer right now. Take some time to be alone - and think about what you want to do with your life, what kind of person you might want to share it with, etc.

I think you are expecting too much of yourself if you just broke up one month ago. Try and think about all the good times you were blessed with.

Have you tried talking to this person? Will he talk to you about his feelings? Maybe he is feeling the same things you are.

In the meantime, get together with a friend or family member and create some new memories for yourself. There will be lots of opportunities in your future, to date, when you are ready.

There is nothing wrong with spending some quality time with yourself. Have you thought of learning something new - like taking a class in something you want to learn (scrapbooking, music lessons, creative writing, etc.)?

At any rate, I think you are on the mend, and are afraid that you might forget about this experience. You will always remember the good times, and, as the years pass, the negative memories will slip out of your mind.

Ending it all is never the answer to anything. EVER.

Keep your chin up. It will get better. You'll see.

Answer 4

You really need to go and see a therapist. They will be able to help more than anyone can on Yahoo! Answers.


I find the best way to get over someone is to date someone else. It doesn't have to be a long-term thing just someone to go out and have fun and to get your mind off of "him."


He was not the only fish in the sea, and guarentee there is someone out there that will be 100 times better then he was ever to you. I thought the same way about my first "love." I didn't think I would be able to date anyone else, he was the "one" and I let him get away. All that turned out to be false and I met a man that is not even comparable to him. You will too. This may feel like the end of the world, but it isn't.

Answer 5

Out of all the relationships I have had in my life, there was only one that I truely loved. He was the soul mate I thought I would be with til the day I died. I'ts been two years and still my heart aches from time to time, the tears fall for him every once in a while and yes when it ended I thought any happiness out there would surely never come my way because my reason for being was not there anymore. Amazing how someone can touch your life like that . It took me over a year to realize that even though he had that effect over me......I did not bring such joy to him.....if I had ...he would still be beside me. And being one who has the ability to love with such devotion, I deserve the same in return. It was hard and I will admit, a rollercoaster struggle but I am the better for all the pain , all the swallowed tears, and unanswered questions. And sweetie....you will be too. You have an enormous gift of love and you will freely give it to another one day. Til then....you will cry and you will hurt and the questions will go unanswered. But I'ts only for a season. And I will pray for God to send you comfort and peace and strength. You hang in there girl.....

Answer 6

No-one is alone and we all end up sharing exactly the same accommodation in the end anyway, so find someone else. It will be 1000 times easier if you cheer up first, think how funny it all is, even the rich are going to end up worm food then maybe be born again poor, who knows! The less life you have left to live the easier it gets to enjoy what's left.

Answer 7

The syndromes of heartsickness. Your friends will always be there for you, I would help, but a stranger over the internet is not the person for this job. You are very emotionally hurt and this si something you shoudl talk about with your true, close friends. I hope you feel better soon.

Answer 8

Let me tell you from my experience...dont fret too much!!! I was just like you when i was 16..my BF broke up with me and all i could do was cry for over a year...i flunked so bad in school...straight F's...all i did was sit there and cry to myself...i was a mess! And all because of him,i thought all those things that your thinking...Well anyways..im 19 now,and i have found out there is way better guys out there,and im dating 1 right now =) So really..i know those thoughts creep up on you..but dont worry too much,believe me i was sooooooo much like you! But you really have to go on,and its not so bad in the future. Just right now it hurts bad..you'll see,when your a bit older you'll just really laugh it off,and say,what was i thinking??? Right now take the time and keep yourself busy with what you like to be doing,my biggest regret was wasting time over my ex and not taking care of myself!

Answer 9

This too shall pass. Life is never just about one person or about just one thing. Of course there is a need to have faith in someone but if that someone is just a person like yourself then you will be disappointed again. Trust Jesus Christ and see what fulfillment he can bring into your life. Then trust him and his word to show you your way into a new relationship.

Answer 10

One. Relax just think there is always a new day the world is not going to end because of whatever happened. Two. you are never alone there is us(people on this website) and family, friends never alone.Three if you really think you are alone talk to a psychologist and talk with your family about it.

Never give up

Leon