i used to be a big girl.. a 235lb big girl... that left a permanent mark on my mental and physical self... the more weight i lose the worse i feel about my body and myself in general.. i used to be at least a little in love with myself but lately i seem to be increasingly more critical of my body. almost obsessive... it is affecting my relationships, both romantic and plutonic, and its affecting my ability to simply be in public places that i typically feel comfortable in. i used to be the person that went to a club in pajama bottoms because that is what made me feel comfortable and damn what anyone thought about me.. now if i dont look absolutely perfect i feel like i am going to panic the whole time i am there... and i am completely unable to enjoy myself.. why is it that the fat me was more comfortable in her own skin than i am.. i question everything in everyone.. i wonder why my boyfriend is with me.. i worry if he is going to find someone prettier with a better body and i will no longer be wanted. i cant hang out with my girlfriends anymore because they are skinnier and prettier and it makes me too uncomfortable to actually enjoy myself around them.. i am sure i am simply crazy.. i know this could ruin my life and my relationships.. i know that i am being too critical.. and i see things that probably dont exsist.. but knowing these things doesnt make me feel better and it doesnt change anything.. i still hate myself most of the time.. i still cant be naked in front of a mirror even alone... i hate showers and baths because i can see myself naked.. i started wearing makeup even though i have no need for it.. i think i am losing my mind over this.. if i really ever had a mind.. this is just a hard situation for me to think myself out of.. usualy i can figure these mental things out on my own.. this is tougher than i have ever known before.. just to let everyone reading this know.. i am not sending this out to get the typical "you are beautiful i love you" responses.. i guess i needed to externalize it to read and see it for what it is.. that is all
2006-10-04 13:54:41 · 11 answers · asked by Enigma 6 in Social Science ➔ Other - Social Science
Thank you all so much!!!
I feel so much better now
that I got to vent
2006-10-04 14:27:11 · update #1
well my dear.....
although there is alot that i want to say .... but to b precise
every one around u is dis satisfied by one thing or another.... some about their brains some about their bodies and some about their jobs etc... the reason is that we have allowed the whole environment arround us decide whats right and wrong for us and we have stopped sitting down to realize who we really are and wht do we really want to do with our lives...
what i believe and have experienced is that we run after other ppls dreams and when we reach their we find we have acheived nothing as it was not our dream we were following...
so stop every thing and start dreaminig just for ur self .... keep thinking for 1 week and try to realize wht r u really made for.... every one has something special.... wht is ur speciality,,,, whn ull find that ull no longer be stressed...
finallly to have an inspiration read about dr hawkings who cant ven move his head or speak correctly but is one of the leading living scientists (the famous writer of the brief history of time)
2006-10-04 14:11:04 · answer #1 · answered by farrukh_phd 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Listen up Baby girl!!! You are not ugly your putting too much pressure on yourself to be like your friends or too look like all the movie stars or models. I am a big girl 228lbs and i would love to lose weight, but seems like when you lost the weight you lost yourself somewhere, if you were happier big then be big. Or you should really go talk to a DR. about some depression meds or something that can help you. You are not alone, there are alot of people that have this problem. You have to fix the inside no matter what is on the outside. You should be proud of your self for losing weight, that is not easy (believe me I know) but why did you lose the weight in the first place....think about that for a while, because it sounds like you were happy and healthy before, so did something happen that caused you to loose the weight that you are not saying? Just sit and think about what you need? when you were happiest? PLEASE< go see a doctor , there is really some great help available out there, go take advantage of it. Hope all works out for you!!!
2006-10-04 14:13:34 · answer #2 · answered by nascar_cr8zy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well congratulations for losing weight.. It's so hard to do that so good for you.... Don't think of losing weight as a means to make you happier or more accepting or even to make you comfortable... Because your not comfortable with the concept that you lost weight to make you feel better about your body.. The main thing is that you lost weight so your heart will function better by pumping the blood at an easier pace and thus giving you longevity...Look at it that way.... Health concept and not just self esteem because you can't deal with that. Your boyfriend is with you because you will now live longer than the other girls and he can grow old with you.... Its always more comfortable to be fat and eat your way thru the day... But its not going to make you healthy
2006-10-04 14:03:39 · answer #3 · answered by Lea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what you're seeing is probably the actual drive that motivated you to drop the weight in the first place. It was an unhealthy mindset to begin with, but happened to have a beneficial side effect (i.e. losing weight) at first, so it went under your radar and has been reinforced by subsequent actions.
Try to remember that this is the result of an overcorrection- your desires can produce benefits, like much better health. If you can, reinforce the good things by having them stem from a positive source, like exersize instead of starvation (not that I think that's why you did it.)
Do your best to reinforce the good parts, even if it feels silly to do so at first. If you work out, think "I feel so much better for having done that!" as opposed to "I hope I burned off some more fat today"
Good luck! by the way, "you're beautiful i love you" =) just kidding.
2006-10-04 14:01:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like to me you are trying to find out who you are again after some losing some weight.I know for some people this can be a daunting experience.Please don't feel that you have to change (your personality,and who you are on the inside)because so called society says you have to.You had no problem before hanging out with your friends before.It's sounds like you have amazing friends who have always liked you for who you are on the inside,not what has been on the outside,and to me you are truly blessed to have such friends.tell your boyfriend and your friends how you feel,your boyfriend and your friends are not mind readers.They can't help you and be there to comfort you when you are feeling down unless you express how you are feeling.I truly hope that you feel alot better about your self very soon.Best of luck to you.
2006-10-04 14:14:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once you started dieting & losing weight, you just kept going....
You used to "not care" what other people thought, but now you've gone too far the other direction & care too much. You need to find a happy medium.
I do suggest some therapy, even short term, so that you can find a healthy self-image.
2006-10-04 14:00:24 · answer #6 · answered by from HJ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand, I used to weigh 335 and after I lost about 175, I still wasn't satisfied. I got professional help and now, I am still not totally happy with my body, but I am accepting of who I am and what I am capable of.
2006-10-04 14:26:55 · answer #7 · answered by housemouse62451 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how do u picture your self inside your body think about it do u picture ur self fat or dkinnin g not meaning u can wire a size 0
but like if u could wire a size 15 or smaller depending on how old u are but i am a lot younger lane u prb. jest think what do u want to do be helthy and live long or be fat and look old???
2006-10-04 14:11:42 · answer #8 · answered by brat#2 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I didn't even read your details once I saw how hugely fat it was. SO big I can't stand to read all that.
2006-10-04 13:57:33 · answer #9 · answered by Dialup, Avatar, Jones!™ 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Let's have a chocolate sundae and think about it.
2006-10-04 13:58:14 · answer #10 · answered by super stud 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋