For women only: How has your father's love shaped your relationship with your mate?

Question

It is well-known that a girl's father is her first love. His behavior sets the pattern for a woman's relationship with her mate. How did your dad do?

physandchemteach:
Your bitterness is understandable. Now, release it through tears, and set your heart free. I promise you that if you will allow it, you will experience great love, and that is what gives value to our existence.

sarah071267:
How very wise to realize the mistake that was made during your childhood, and correct it in your life. You prove that there is no need to be slaves to our past.

///\oo/\\...:
I feel the pain of your loss. It is wise, in this cold world, to discover a surrogate father, that will nurture and protect you as you face your trials.

Avrinem414:
What a great testiimony to the love of a father!. And his lasting legacy is your love and respect.

Peaches:
I believe there is something to be learned here for you. If you will contact me by e-mail, I will explain at length the powerful impact a father has on his daughter's tender heart.

Siobahn:
You have a disciplined mind and have learned not to be ruled by the past. Now, consider forgiveness. Not for the benefit of your father, but for you. I still sense a root of bitterness that must be expelled from your tender heart.

lindsayjz:
It sounds like your painful story has a happy ending! Now I urge you to let go of that root of bitterness. As you can see here, you are not alone in your struggle. Let those tears flow, and wash away the pain of childhood like a cleansing rain.

georgeoustxwoman:
There is wisdom here. Yes, good and bad. A wise woman amplifies the good, and diminishes the bad. This is of great benefit to the heart.

Lady_ellie:
Your story is all-too-common. I counsel many men to show warmth and affection to their daughters, especially when they become young women. To do otherwise, is to invite the behavior that you describe.
But remember, you hold the key to your heart, now. Expel the bitterness through tears, and you will find a healthy soul mate that can give and recieve love fully.

mjboog2:
It grieves my heart to see a beautiful young woman that has experienced pain, rather than nurturing, from their father. To me, this is beyond comprehension. My daughter is the light of my life, and rules her daddy's heart. Consider the value of forgiveness, for the benefit of your mate.
Your feelings for your him will be colored by your childhood, inless you expel the bitter root.

TayLee:
I hear this story often. I applaud your efforts to avoid your father's mistakes. I am concerned about your tender heart, and the damage that often occurs in such a childhood. Consider the act of forgiveness, not for him, but for the benifit of you and your loved ones.

Nahimana:
It sounds like your father was a strong, protective dad. I'm sorry he is not here today for you; such a man is always missed in his daughter's life..

Answer 1

Ah, my Dad worked hisass off and never said much but he was always home. He never drank but killed himself from smoking cigs. He wasn't worth ashit for being there for my horse shows but he kickedass when it came to the losers of life that pounded on our back door at midnight!

I kinda got off on the excitement of watching him scare the crap out of them !

Our time was limited because he died when I was 29 but I sure wish he was here now!

I've got this dude he could give some whoopass to!

Man I'd send him your way ladies .He would have knocked some sense in those dead beat Dads.
However you don't let your childhood choose how you live your life because you also have a brain which should remind you of the lesson learned," not to turn out the same way."

Answer 2

My father is an amazing dad! He taught me to be a strong and confident person. To see the good in people and give everyone a chance, even when everyone else says their not worth the time. My dad showed by example, that family is priority! It doesn't matter how much money you have or don't have, if you have your family with you---that makes you the richest person in the world! I only hope that I have instilled those values in my own children!

Answer 3

My father was remote and distant, and then completely gone. For a long time, I repeated this kind of pattern in relationships, yes. Whether that was to do with my father, or the low self esteem I had for a long time, I cannot say. Did my low self esteem begin with my father's rejection of me? Why do I still frame it in terms of rejection? Well, it's all a very long story, and I don't think of it that way anymore, but I do see what the question is getting at.. thinking, thinking..

Answer 4

My dad rocked.

The most important thing he did was love my mom. They were partners; I knew they were in love, and they were appropriately affectionate in front of me. I witnessed hard times between them too, but they got through them because they loved each other.

My dad sent me valentines cards and candy when I was little. He sent me flowers as I grew older. I knew I could talk to him about anything. He was playful and had a great sense of humor. My mother and I were first in his lives and I knew it. My only regret is that he died before I met my husband and married. I know Daddy would have had a great time with my husband.

I have brought the same affection, playfulness, partnership and love that my parents exhibited in their marriage. My husband and I are extremely happy and in love. My dad, with my mom at his side, showed me how it was done.

Answer 5

My dad was a workaholic and I didn't see him that much. He was gone by 7am and didn't return home until after 7pm and by that time us kids had already eaten and left the kitchen. He use to use my mum as a secretary at home as well so he would work with her late into the night.

He was not my first love and certainly my men have never been like him. My man and I both work part time because we want to spend time together.

Answer 6

Not so good. It destroyed the way I look at guys. Since I grew up without my dad, I try to look for a father-figure in most guy-friends and boyfriends. My mom said that she half expected that kind of thing to happen.

Answer 7

My dad was a drunk and never cared enough about me or our family. I was the youngest and tried desperately for his attention and love. No matter how hard I tryed, it was never enough to get him to love me. I maybe saw him a handful of times thruout my young life, then when I was a new mother and young woman, he died. I never got to say goodbye. I've searched all my adult life for someone to love me the way I needed it. I never felt good enough for the good ones and been married to two abusive ones. He has ruined me.

Answer 8

My father's love made me a strong confident secure adult. It enabled me to build a strong relationship woth my fiance and taught me how I deserve to be treated by others with respect, kindness and openess. I am lucky and blessed to have a dad that would do anything for his children and lucky to have been brought up in a stable loving home.

Answer 9

I have the most awesome Dad in the world and it took me years to find a man that could measure up. My dad loves me and only wants the best for me. He did a real good job.

Answer 10

My relationship with my father once caused me to distrust men and to always expect the worst possible motives. I used to feel sorry for myself because of it. Now I realize that it's up to ME how I view men. Yes, dad plays a role, but he isn't the starring role and he isn't the director. . . .in fact he is barely supporting cast.