What slow and painful death can i inflict on my useless dissertation supervisor?

Question

(I'm looking for originality, crucifixion is too good for this useless wretch.)

(Please not that this a humourous way for me to let off steam, like most people I do not condone murder... well, maybe just a little bit)

Answer 1

Having to read your dissertation will probably do it.

Answer 2

Hypothetically, of course, as I am not actually encouraging such actions.

Locked away in a stinking dungeon, dark and vermin infested, alone with his excrement. Moldy bread and stale water helped to supplement the cockroaches and spiders.
The Oral, Rectal, and Vaginal Pear.
They are forced into the mouth, rectum or vagina of the victim and there expanded by force of the screw to the maximum aperture of their segments. The inside of the cavity in question is irremediably mutilated, nearly always fatally so. The pointed prongs at the end of the segments serve better to rip into the throat, the intestines or the cervix.

The 'strappado' -- This consisted of tying the hands behind the back, hoisting by the wrists, then dropping for several feet and stopping with a jerk before he reached the ground. It would often result in the arms being pulled from their sockets.

Pressing, or crushing under boards with weights on them (also called the 'turtle'), was another way of dispatching.

Being slowly roasted in a huge metal oven or lashed to revolving rods or spits and grilled alive over fires, the sizzling body being basted with the drippings from one's own flesh.

Answer 3

First, i would give him something that will paralyze him and make the pain more intensely felt. Then, i will get a very sharp needle and poke his eye lids, nipples and genitalia ( this is from the Japanese film audition). I would then chop his legs off and feed it to a wolf ( from sin city). I would proceed and rip his heart off his chest ( from Frankenstein). Then i would eat his liver with fava beans and a glass of Chianti ( Silence of the lambs).
-This is of course a humorous suggestion-

Answer 4

Work up a long, tedious, repetitive and dull faux dissertation. Give it to him while surreptitiously giving your REAL dissertation to the rest of the team.

Wait for the oral defense and wait for the hijinks to ensue when your supervisor realizes he read your decoy copy instead of the real thing!

Boy, that'll show 'em!

Good luck on your dissertation.

Answer 5

Richard there are three rulles to commiting a crime, Don't tell anyone, don't write anything down, and don't video tape it.

the three rules after that are deny, deny, deny.

Since you've already proken 2/3 of the cardinal rules I don't recomend following through with this.

hope it all works out for you,
Grev

Answer 6

You must be suffering very badly. Why don't you consider changing supervisot instead of confessing to murder over the net. Mens rea is enough to get you even if actus rea is not proven. UUUm do you even wonder whether your supoervisor can read what you are spouting over the net?

Answer 7

Put small amounts of Mercury into his tea on a regular basis, that'll provide a slow and excruciating death - just the kind of thing you're looking for i'll wager ;)

Answer 8

mummification works, seriously though, take a deep breath count to 3, find out where they have the private bathroom and then wrap it in saran wrap or cut the seat in half. Seran wrap takes less time and is funny as hell.

Answer 9

Get him to spend a week with my mother in law, his brain will slowly disintegrate, and he'll be nothing but a gibbering wreck by the end of the week !

Answer 10

ooooooh heeh i got a good1
Perforate their body except for the vital organs, squeeze lemons on him, then tie their hands and feet up to the back of your car drive to Niagra Falls, throw them off and laugh at them while eating a doughnut :P