me and my boyfriend have been going out for almost 2 yrs we had a child right away but he wasnt planned we never really got to date i got pregnant the 2nd time we had sex! anyways i want him to marry me so our lives will be complete but he wont because he says its to soon should i just ask him or wait until hes ready which is another 4 or 5 yrs!
2006-10-04 12:26:10 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think its cute that you want to. If you really really know and think its right go for it. Yeah its a huge risk, but you love him right? Good luck sweetie.
2006-10-04 12:28:07 · answer #1 · answered by aricalyn10<3 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow, 4 to 5 yrs is a long time. I think that you should really evaluate your options. Such as If you did not get pregnant would you two still be together, also you shold make a list on positive and negative about him only not your child. I think that you should not rush into marriage seems as though you rushed into the bed. However, just make sure whatever, you do think about the long term life w your child father. Can you really be without him? or Are you wanting to get married because you had a child (you want a family? ) Just think this one out.
2006-10-04 12:35:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is hard enough with out forcing the issue, if he's not ready then dont pressure him by asking him to marry u , u'll more then likely not like his answer....and only get hurt from planning ect..
Perhaps u could do one of two things..
let him know u love him.. but at the same time u dont want to wait on something that ur not sure of, atleast if u had a plan in action it would be easier for u to wait.. let him know that u'll wait one more year but that if u dont atleast have an engagement ring by the end of that year, that u will have to rethink your situation..as far as being together.. because although u love him u dont want to wait on something that "MAY" happen.. and then find urself 6 years down the road, unmarried still and then he leaves u , and then u just wasted 6 years of your life on a "maybe" let him know that if u were atleast engaged and settled on a date even if it is 3 to 4 years down the road, that u'd be more eager to wait.. but he has made no "REAL" commitment to u.. and ur afraid of waking up one day and find ur waiting on nothing
Or
If your really fed up and u feel like ur wasting ur life waiting on him to decide when he wants to grow up and make your family complete, then leave.. move back in with ur parents or on your own and let him know when he decides he wants to be a family to let u know but untill then ur not waiting around any longer on a "MAYBE"
He has his family and yet although he gets to play house, he doesnt have to worry about the "Legalities" of it.. and he likes that he can walk away scott free in his mind if he should decide he wants to bail..
If i were u.. id move out.. why buy the cow when u get the milk for free, and if he wants to be single.. then u have ur answer, cause if he really loves u and really wants to marry u just 5 years from now, then he wont choose the single life.. he'll fight for u, but if he chooses it then u know he really wasnt going to marry u , he was just looking for away out..and didnt have the ballz to do it himself..
2006-10-04 13:00:33 · answer #3 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
4 or 5 years is too long. Tell him so. Then move on with your life and do what you need to do for you and your kids. If he's still around in 4 or 5 years and you're both single, you can try dating and see if you want to get married then.
2006-10-04 12:41:26 · answer #4 · answered by booktender 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My friends mom develop into going out with this guy for 5 years. She requested to marry HIM in the front of seven-11! HA! shes a large female. yet about 2 years in the past he fell off a ladder and previous away.
2016-12-04 06:51:33 · answer #5 · answered by mallie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
umm humm, first off you had a child right off the bat. Most married people wait years before actually bringing a youngster to the equation.
If he doesnt want to marry you then HE DOESNT WANT TO MARRY YOU. To be honest, you gave that stuff up a long time ago, so why would he feel the need to marry you unless you decide to slap his *** with state garnishment of child support. Then he might feel froggy. LOL
I would never give my stuff up without a ring, marriage certificate, and a mortgage. :)
2006-10-04 12:30:59 · answer #6 · answered by Madonna1 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you'd already asked him, and he'd already answered. Which part of "no" didn't you understand? He doesn't want to marry you. You can accept things as they are, and be happy with what you have - or, you can learn your lessons and look for someone who's truly interested in having a family.
2006-10-04 12:39:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him how you feel and if he can't not give you a good reason why not Kick him to the curve... Remember he is already eating the goods... Make him take a decision soon. You and your baby don't need to wait any longer. EFIL
2006-10-04 12:28:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
A piece of paper isn't going to change anything between you two. If you want to ask go for it! I wish you luck, but if he has already told you he isn't ready for marriage you better be ready for rejection!
2006-10-04 12:34:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound like he's done sowing his oats. You might need to have a serious sit down with the boy highlighting the points of responsibility for one's actions.
2006-10-04 12:29:26 · answer #10 · answered by RamsGod 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask him, I asked my husband and we've now been married happily for over 12 yrs.
2006-10-04 12:29:12 · answer #11 · answered by ♥Shortie♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋