how to make some one realize they should stop smoking?

Question

my moms has smoked since before i was even born. but she managed to quit smoking during her pregancy with me and my siblings. but as soon as we were born she would start up again. i really really want her to quit. she doesnt realize that she is not only hurting herself, but she is hurting her family. i dont want to loose my mom over sumthing so pointless. any suggestions?

the person who said it was inconsiderate for me to want her to stop... i think u are totaly wrong. i dont want to loose my mom. im just watching out for her.

Answer 1

You haven't a chance... even the apes are clever enough not to smoke.. except a few taught by humans!

Answer 2

Hi! I am a heavy smoker and have not read any of the responses to this question so far because I just want to give you a straight answer. My mother, Grandmother and grandfather were also heavy smokers, having started in their teens. My mother quit when she was in hospital visiting my grandmother. A friend of my mother's from school was in the same ward with cancer of the throat caused by smoking, she watched him die a few days later.

My Grandmother obviously also saw this, and as she was in for her second Angina attack, following her two heart attacks and preceeding her one stroke that all happened in the same month - caused by smoking - decided to quit smoking too.

When my Granddad realised the extent that smoking could obviously have on your health, and that he would need to care for Grandma, he quit drinking! Carried on smoking though!

This was all about 10 years ago. Mum and Grandma are still well alive and kicking, but Grandad died last Christmas. Of completely natural causes that smoking would never have had a bearing on!

It's because of this that I still smoke. There is no illness that leads to death which can be 100% attributed to smoking. It's still the luck of the draw. Smoke from teens to late eighties and not die of it? Humans must be getting weaker!

There's only one thing that will stop me smoking, and that's when me and my missus decide to start trying for a baby. No matter how I feel, I'm not going to pollute that innocent child's body with my filth.

I accept smoking is filthy, but I love it!

Answer 3

I know its frustrating, my mother-in-law just passed away from lung cancer and we pleaded and begged her to stop smoking, even bought the patch and she refused to stop smoking until she was diagnosed with lung cancer. By then it was too late. She smoked for over 40 years, its a helluva a habit to break. The person has to want to stop smoking. If not there is no amount of talking that you can do to make them stop, they just get mad at you and block you out. The only thing I would say to him if it was my husband would be "I am just concerned about my health and the kids health would you please not smoke around us, maybe we can make a compromise, I wont bother you about smoking if you promise to smoke only on the front or back porch or basement but not in the area where the kids and I spend most of our time." This might work depending on your husband because some men would feel that you arent going to tell me I cant smoke in my own house etc. But it is worth a try, some husbands may agree and want their kids to be healthy. Also you can give medical facts about smoking around children increasing their chances of developing lung problems, exascerbating asthma, triggering allergies, second hand smoke can also cause lung cancer, etc. Hope this helps. Good luck to you.

Answer 4

Hi, I am a qualified smoking cessation adviser.
in the UK. (Sorry if you are from USA. )

First, some facts that will give you hope:1) About 70% of UK smokers want to quit. 2) Smokers who have quit before ( such as your mum when pregnant) and then gone back to smoking have a better chance of quitting successfully and staying smoke free the second time they try. This is because they have learned from the first quit and they will know what the trigger was that got them back to smoking again. They will have learned for themselves that there is no such thing as 'just one cigarette'. 3)People who go to a Quitters group and who use some form of Nicotine Replacement, or a drug called 'Zyban', (Bupropion) are 4 times more likely to succeed than those who don't get this help.
Your mum is likely to become motivated again to quit at some time in the future. When she does, she should phone 'Quitters' if in the UK. This is an NHS service inthe UK.

Please be aware that Allen Carr is against using nicotine replacement. But the evidence is that he is wrong on that point. ( His advice is good in other ways). 'Quitters' advises you to use it (if you feel you want to) if you smoke 10 or more a day and start to smoke within an hour of waking up. Nicotine from smoke is more addictive than heroin. It hits the brain in less than 7 seconds. The nicotine is the agent of addiction but it is not harmful itself. It's the 4000 other chemicals in a cigarette that are harmful. Nicotine replacement comes as patches, gum, lozenges, inhalator ( 'dummy cigarette') nasal spray and microtabs.

I'd suggest that you look up more information yourself and become well informed about how to support your mum in preparation for when she does want to quit again. (She will). The ASH (Action on Smoking and Health) website is good and reliable. Look up your local Quitters website. I also like click2quit.com. In the meantime, when the opportuntiy arises to talk about smoking, e.g when it comes on the TV, comes up naturally in conversation, when you both see a poster for example, simply ask her how she's feeling. Leave it at that. Let her talk. She'll start to think about it. Do not try to persuade. Asking her how she feels is really important. Secondly, you can tell her that you understand that a smoker needs to wait for the right time to quit. It might not be right just now. Better to wait, if it's a stressful time right now. This will take the pressure off her but let her know you still care and want her to quit.

In Quitters, we work on the basis that the substance is the villain, or the tobacco industry - not the smoker. We tell the smoker that they are NOT guilty! We help someone to change their behaviour by helping them feel good, not bad.

Answer 5

Research it, get some literature and give her the facts, I spent a week in hospital after a near fatal Asthma attack(probably due to smoking) but most of all be assertive when discussing it.
If you can take her to a hospital with a lung disorder ward and let her see how it ends(scared the s**t out of me) and I quit.
Good luck though but in the end it's her decision but don't be too hard because smoking is a hard thing to beat but can be done.

Answer 6

Don't shame her and nag - offer suggestions. Tell her to think of it as a bad habit that's affecting you both and habits can be changed, then suggest ways to look at the possibilities of this change.
She wont die or have a heart attack or lose a limb or go into respiratory arrest or suddenly grow out of control cancer cells - if she quits. But she has 50% more chance of these effects if she continues smoking.
And maybe, maybe not, some miserable temporary quitting symptoms, but always bearable and the absolute relief to be free of that hassle is worth it.
She can get her instant gratification a heap of other ways - that's what you can suggest and support her with. When she knows she is not alone and that you will work at this together, then fobbing you off with excuses is not fair, to herself and you.
Keep talking to her, tell her you will help all the way, You can be sure she wants to quit somewhere in her mind, but she's scared - scared to lose her comfort friend, and scared it will be painful, and scared she will fail - so maybe try and talk to her about all these things and tell her that it's ok if that happens, but it's worth it for her future self-esteem, health and happiness, and for you and future kids. Theres' a lot of help and ideas at http://www.quitguide.com/help-someone-quit-smoking.html

Answer 7

I'm sorry to say that you cannot force someone to stop smoking. Your Mum smokes because she believes that it gives her something, she probably believes that she enjoys it.

Get hold of a copy of any of the stop smoking books by Alan Carr' (easy way), I believe he has even written one specifically to help women give up smoking.

It works by NOT encouraging your Mum to stop, she can smoke whilst she reads; explain this to her when you give it to her (as a present) and explain how much you are worried bout loosing her.

Alot of people smoke because they believe that it eases stress for them (I used to, before reading Alan Carr) when it helps cause it. Don't what ever you do pressurise your Mum, your job is to reduce her stress, not increase it.

Good luck

Answer 8

I am trying to quit myself and i have to admit it is very tough, i have smoked for 20 years and the only thing i can say is that the person must really want to quit as the cravings can be very bad. I have found the lozenges to be very good the gum made my mouth and jaw quite sore. The point at which i said to myself right that is enough is when my young daughter said i would have poo jelly ( ok i laughed too !!) inside me, it is amazing how cutting a young child's comments can be and often they are the ones to get through.
Good luck.

Answer 9

Hi. your mum has to want to stop herself,it's nice that your there for your mum.
It isnt easy to stop smoking,I tried four times, I smoked for 52 years but I did it in the end.

Answer 10

My Mum is the same, smoked for 50 years and refuses to stop, Ive tried everything but she is set in her ways, so i politely ask her to go outside for a cigarette now, she hates this and doesn't smoke around us now !.

Answer 11

I am married to a smoker, and let me tell you there is absolutely nothing you can do to make someone stop smoking. I have tried all the different ways. I have tried reasoning with him. I have tried the ugly facts along with pictures. He does not care if he gets cancer, he doesn't believe in second hand smoke. It is futile.