We can get into some pretty heated discussions, as most people, so in order not to have the perverbial "heart attack" while aggressively trying to get our points across, how can we go about it and be heard?
2006-10-04 12:18:08 · 9 answers · asked by basport_2000 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This takes effort, time, and patience, but it "does" work. My husband and I used to yell to get our point across, untill one day we realized "yelling" made us mad, and we lost focus on the "point" each of us were trying to make. So we did this. 1st. We agreed that "sometimes" we were going to disagree. 2# we were not going to say "anything" we did NOT mean, we would stick to the subject. And 3# When or if things "did" start to heat up? One of us would make a funny gesture to make us both laugh! We have been doing a lot of laughing for the past 24 years! Also, it's sooo important to allow your partner to "finish" what they are saying and not interrupt, because this tells the person speaking, that what you're saying "is" important, even if you don't agree with it. Good luck & God bless
2006-10-04 12:31:36 · answer #1 · answered by Republican!!! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By stopping the HEATED part of the argument.. u can talk and be firm with out actually having to get urself so worked up.. in many therapies they teach : who ever has the ball has the floor..
And with most people the more u dont respond to them while in a tirade the more they'll start questioning if ur listening and "want" you to respond rather then yell back and forth at each other.. and no one gets heard cause ur both to worked up and yelling that its all going in one ear and out the other and u start fighting about one thing but end up on a whole other topic before ur done.. because to many things are going through ur head at once with all the fighting..
Staying calm keeps u from saying things u cant take back, keeps you to keep your thoughts straight and ur arguement clear, and over all keeps u better a better offensive player rather then defensive player..
And the key is compromise, if u can go into all arguements with the thought of compromise on ur brain to where both people can win, then theres lack of a battle and u solve problems quicker..
all else fails grab her and have sex.. lol..
2006-10-04 19:48:52 · answer #2 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take a pen who ever holds the pen speaks
its childish but then again so is sitting in the same room shouting
It may just make you two see that you are adults and that adults should be able to discuss problems instead of getting overly aggressive.
2006-10-04 19:34:49 · answer #3 · answered by slick 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is your spouse your best friend? Treat him/her with the respect and dignity you would any of your friends when you disagree.
Never tear him/her down. Never degrade the other person. Argueing should never be infront of the children, unless it is civil and if an apology is needed, apologize infront of children.
Never use the words: You always, or you never.
2006-10-04 19:23:35 · answer #4 · answered by Traditional Gal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way is not to fight.
If your fighting daily you need help, this is not normal.
civilized conversations work best, the only fighting you should be doing is with pillows and whip cream.
2006-10-04 19:25:22 · answer #5 · answered by Chiprat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off if you have kids try to do it when they aren't around.And then sit down in a nice qi=uite room and shoot the point at em' and they'll fall over like a drunk dude in oktober fest.
2006-10-04 19:24:13 · answer #6 · answered by Unibird Spririt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hahaha! I have a battle like that every day! Good luck!
2006-10-04 19:20:44 · answer #7 · answered by ~Amor~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come up with a solution.
2006-10-04 19:20:57 · answer #8 · answered by Will 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you both grow up...emotionaly , unless you wait to do so after the divorce!
2006-10-04 19:21:18 · answer #9 · answered by ~just_jd~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋