I am separated from my husband but we still love each other.?

Question

We have a beautiful child together. We both have been seeing other people, but I broke it off because I am still hung up on my husband. I know he loves me but he is unsure and doesnt think we can "go backwards". He also feels bad for the girl he is with because she is "in love" with him, although she knows he is still married. I am willing to do anything to make it work. I dont want to be mean or underhanded, although I am feeling the urge!! The girl is a tad bit afraid of me. ;)

I just want my family back. I am trying to convince him, but I dont want to force anything, I want it to happen naturally. Do I just wait it out alone?? I would love some advice, some I am actually asking for!!

Answer 1

Sounds like your in the separation blues.......I don't know who left who and why, but your separated for a reason. Your probably feeling That the pastures aren't always greener on the other side of the fence, and I'm sure it must be difficult to see him with another person.
It's always sad when a child is involved, but in order for the child to be happy she must see that both parents are happy. Be that the parents are together or not, children are great at forgiving and understanding when there parents stay involved. I also think when you wrote your ex feels bad for his girl friend, and that he is unsure and doesn't think you two can go backwards. This should be a clear indication he doesn't feel the same as you do.
Take a break from pressuring him, it's not healthy for yourself or him. Get on with your life, focus on your home, friends family and most important your daughter.
Have you ever heard the expression "absence makes the heart grow fonder" maybe it could be true in your case, let him see how happy and healthy you are mentally and physically. If he sees that then maybe it could happen again..but don't count on it.
If I were you I wouldn't stop dating or going out with friend you need to treat yourself and have a good time doing it. Who knows another Mr. Right maybe waiting,if you find him and the ex comes around, let him know that it's to late and he missed out on a great mother and wife........ Good luck
Remember if it happens it happens if it don't it don't.

Answer 2

Many of the problems you may be facing could be just the tip of the iceberg on what is really happening in your marriage. I dont mean to scare you but many problems when they either first show up or if they keep reoccurring could be just whats showing from a larger problem that either you or your spouse cannot even see. One of the only things you can do to help is to talk honestly and openly with each other in the marriage. If things become more serious more serious options need to be looked at as possibilities. I have a blog that has more information on some of what I've been writing about. If you feel like checking it out I would completly suggest it. Read here https://tr.im/AHfQR

Love is a choice that is made everyday when you wake up and every night when you go to sleep. Some days you may not feel the original feeling but love isnt a feeling or an emotion. Its an action a verb. Falling out of love may just mean you need to spice things up a little or that you were never in love in the first place. Don't just get out of a marriage just because you don't think you like the person anymore.

Answer 3

I can not give you an answer that will make it all magically go your way,what I am going to tell you is, an honest to god true story ,I know it's true because I'm still living it. It is very hard when you still love each other(or at least you do and he say's he does)to stay calm and focused. It has been 16 months for me now and I am just now accepting the fact that it takes two!.I loved and still do -this man beyound words for 13 months I allowed him to keep me strung along,untill 3 months ago I found just enough strenght not to try and find a reason to talk to him or see him as unbeleavable as it may sound I have not had a date or sexual encounters of any kind during this 16 months (except with him) and that was a total of 5 times but none in 3 months. He on the other hand has played the romeo (you know what I mean) come to find out all along even during me, he has lied all the way for months and then some.I was like a doll he took out to play with when he was bored with the other ones. Women think and react with the heart men with the 2nd brain. The excuss with my man was he needed to find his self so he would know what he wanted,and hell we were married and not seperated only 3 months when he decided this b/s and thats just what it is BULL S--T a cop out because they don't want to tell the truth for what ever reason. My point is I myself damaged me by putting my life on hold for him why because " I LOVE HIM " I allowed him to have his cake and eat it too the whole time I was feeding his ego.Live your life and allow him to live with the choise he has made and If the love is there on both of your sides you will find a way to make it back to each other. Trust me I know how hard it is but love yourself enough to say you deserve TRUE love and it will have to come from him and not because he was made to thru guilt or anger or any other reason.Don't try to convince him of any thing you know the truth and its his lose.God Bless You and Good Luck.

Answer 4

I would say, it depends on why you got married, and why you broke up to begin with. By looking at the things that kept you together, and those that now keep you apart, you may arrive at the best answer to your question. I don't know if I could have gone back after a separation, I'm the kind of person who moves on decisively, I would rather be independent than in limbo waiting for someone else to make up their mind.

If I were in your shoes, I think I would continue dating. Otherwise, you may be waiting for a long time for your husband to come around - IF he ever will.

Answer 5

There is a classic type of man who does this kind of thing, and your husband is one of them. He will do anything to avoid conflict.

You have to stop being nice about this. He is a weak person and will always take the easy path.

When he tries to walk out on you, you are upset but you are understanding. When he tries to walk out on his girlfriend, she creates a scene. So the easiest path is for him to stick with the girlfriend. It has absolutely nothing to do with how much he loves you vs. how much he loves her.

Have you heard the expression, the squeakiest wheel gets the most oil? That's the case here. You have to make a fuss - in fact you have to make MORE fuss than his girlfriend, otherwise you will never get him back.

You need to tell him that you can't go on like this any more - he has to make a decision because it is tearing you apart. Stop bottling up all the anger and distress and let yourself go in front of him. Don't be afraid of your own feelings - if it means you want to yell and scream at him, go for it. It's the only thing that will bring him to his senses.

It's for his own good as well as yours. If you do nothing, he will stick with this girlfriend because he is too weak to stand up to her, and then he will end up in an unhappy marriage, probably regretting that he let you go for the rest of his life. I know, I've seen it happen.

Answer 6

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Dear girl....First question to ask yourself is why do you want to continue seeing each other? What is your reasoning/?You say after a long and troubled relationship you are separating,so what will be the goal of continuing with relationship? It hasn`t worked for you both..what will have changed?you both still have your children.. It isn`t easy I know,but the best thing is to make up your mind to put it behind you and move forward{both of you}otherwise you will make yourself emotional and unhappy for possibly years..To be still pleasant to each other is fine,but let him get on with his life and get on with yours...There are so many ways to be happy in life..but only one miserable way to be unhappy..It isn`t easy to let go..and most of us have been there at some time or another..but it is the best thing to do for you and your children.. You say you both love each other..? but not enough to work through the difficult issues.... and even if so,people like to think love conquers all, but circumstances do play a huge part....I do wish you happiness

Answer 7

Sometimes, letting go seems like the easiest thing to do. But think about this: you've invested so much of your time and energy into another person; you've made a solemn promise; and you still know there's love, even if it's hiding underneath the surface. This website will show you how to save a marriage and avoid divorce, even if you're the only one trying https://tr.im/pFvXT

Answer 8

I too, feel your pain. i am seperated from the love of my life. The one thing you have going for you, is that you know you love each other. That can win over anything. But you must remember, if it is meant to be, it will be. Nothing can stop it. Her love for him will not keep them together if he doesnt love her back. I cant stomach the thought of thinking there may have to be other relationships for my husband and i, before time tells. But as for us, there seems to be no hope. Good luck, dont stop letting him know you love him. Be patient, and give it time. Dont be in a hurry to have relations with other men, concentrate on 3 things-home, family, and job..keep your priorities in line.

Answer 9

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RE:
I am separated from my husband but we still love each other.?
We have a beautiful child together. We both have been seeing other people, but I broke it off because I am still hung up on my husband. I know he loves me but he is unsure and doesnt think we can "go backwards". He also feels bad for the girl he is with because she is "in...

Answer 10

Hi smiley ....>;O).... Your Marriage sounds like it took a wrong turn Id wait for it to come around again . chasing after it wont help .in other words if you apply pressure to your hubby's new lady and it gets back to him don't you think he will think that you are being manipulative and under handed Time is your friend so take the time you need. be nice and remind him that your life will be happy if he is a part of it again .