A friend (maybe someone he dated before) of my BF keeps sending email to him that I think are too flirty. He evidently hasn't asked her to stop (an issue I plan to bring up with him) so I want to send a kind of generic, anonymous email to her telling her to stop flirting with him. I don't want to mention names or give details away though (like quoting her), just want to make her think that one of the men she's communicating with online isn't actually single anymore. I don't want it to be too obvious because my BF doesn't know I'm reading his email from time to time.
I thought about giving her the links to dating websites in the email so she can find her own man. But I'm not sure how to word it generically enough.
Can you suggest something that maybe you've done or would do in this situation? Don't hold back and don't be ashamed to admit you've considered this before!
2006-10-04 11:47:39 · 16 answers · asked by MYSTURY G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
First of all i want to say that I have been on the end of one of those girl friend emails.She needed to check her and and so do you. She was reading his emails also. I guess he left the email up one day in a rush or something. I dont know anyway she emailed me. I did not want her man. On the emails she read she quoted me. I said I wanted a winter blanket(man). she read some of the jokes and pics(funny) a kept seeing my name on thesm and asked me to stop. He was email"ing me as well all during the day. Then I get the dreaded email her telling me to leave her man alone from his email address..I laughed and told this woman that I didnt want her man.We had kicked it before but he didnt or would never fit into my world(to materialist for my taste)I live a comfortable life and just dont agree with people that look down on others that dont make the same type of money that we do or are not educated(degree) he did. Now every time this man came to town he would call me.So I would comment on email never really called him I didnt want him to get the wrong understanding. I guess thats why she thought I wanted her man. Now he called me and ask if I could do a favor for him.(just so he could see me)and that would have her thinking when he left her house. I returned his calls only then never just to chat and when I did he didnt answer because he said he was with her. Now I told him that was dumb because he shouldnt have anything to hide. I wasnt going to talk sexual to him.I guess he wanted her to find the emails it might have been his way of letting her know that he had options or so she thought.I asked her on the emails if HER MAN LOVED her then why was he calling me(then he would be with her and not answer the cell)DUMB. Believe me I didnt want her man as I told her if I did I could have him. She laughed and told me I couldnt. I told her to have a laugh at my expense but she that laughs first might laugh last.I didnt want her man believe me he had a drug problem which was the reason that he ended 2 marriages.(which she knew nothing about)I stubbled on this in his luggage.. he has 2 kids not by any of the 2ex-wives either he was paying child-support for. He was in the !st yr of separation from his wife of 15 yrs when I met him. So they that was a issues right there. Then he wasnt working with much if you know what I mean..So I told her I dont want your man again. He wasnt being himself around her and she was all about money so they made a happy pair. They both love to talk about money and what they had..I saw this woman before but at the time she didnt know I was the email buddy. I was standing in line waiting on my table with my date and he comes up and gives me a hug. She almost lost it. So I will say it again check your man first.
2006-10-04 12:27:53 · answer #1 · answered by justturning40 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A really good phrase to use in this situation is "emotional affair". This woman is having an 'emotional affair' with your boyfriend!
I have been in a very similiar situation, and I sent her an email asking her what her ultimate goal was, because she was only making a fool of herself.
You have to make it known somehow, without sounding like the jealous girlfriend, that your relationship with your boyfriend is secure, and that you are only emailing her to stop any embarrassment on her behalf...
Good luck, it's a horrible situation to be in, it just made me feel sick.
2006-10-04 11:53:03 · answer #2 · answered by Dreamer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st of all there is no kind way to tell some other chick to stop emailing ur man.. if u send the email to the girl on the sneak tip she's gonna tell ur bf no doubt and then he'll know u've been reading his email a lil to much...
i think u should speak w/him first and let him know how u feel and let him nip it in the bud in front of u.. hell if u dont' believe him ask him to allow u to change his password to a whole bunch of jibberish then get a new screen name and if she keeps emailing him then u know what's up.. not only that, how u know if they haven't exchanged #'s or if he knows where she lives..
if ur really paranoid then u need to confront him....
2006-10-04 11:52:11 · answer #3 · answered by Queen D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whoa, my love, you probably don't want to hear this but - don't do it. First, it is not nice or trusting that you are reading your boyfriends emails - if you really love him, then you trust him and you trust that he will always do right by you. Second, you need to face the fact that girls will always be hitting on your guy - so, you should go to your boyfriend and say "You know, you are so incredibly cute that I'm sure you get a lot of girls flirting with you. I just want you to know that I love you and trust you and think you are wonderful!"...followed by a big kiss....and don't read his emails anymore.
Trustingly,
RT
2006-10-04 11:55:46 · answer #4 · answered by RT 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is he flirting back??? If not don't worry about it. Maybe they were sent to him by mistake. Unless it's always her to him. In which case just send her an anonymous email. Make up an account and send it. As far as you confronting your man. He'll know your looking at his emails as soon as you confront him so good luck.
2006-10-04 11:53:17 · answer #5 · answered by VMG 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you feel the relationship has changed. That you don't have all of his emotional attention. Check the cell phone records for calling patterns. Block your phone number from displaying on caller ID and call the numbers to determine who they are.
Just call and say "girls name" until you get a bite. If there's a good number of frequent calls, he's a rat and you should leave him. You're not married and can break away clean.
2006-10-04 11:53:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You, sweetie...are a little sneak!! You are the wrong one here!!! You are snooping into private e-mail.....then you are trying to control the behavior of two other people by sending "anonymous" e-mail. What is the matter with you?? Face the facts, he is not into you anymore and I can see why!!!! Do you really think that by sending her an e-mail that she will stop e-mailing him??? DUH!!! He is the other half of it and appears to not want to stop. You are making a fool out of yourself. I would NEVER do what you have done......I would be the one to end the relationship as it stands and walk away.......he is going to do that to you eventually anyway. You need to grow up.
2006-10-04 11:53:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This isn't your problem to deal with but your boyfriend's. How do you know that he isn't communicating with her and passing himself off as single? Obviously, if he hasn't stopped it he isn't bothered by it. Talk to him first. Think about it - how will you come out looking when he accuses you of being overly jealous of his female friends and stalking them? You'll have accomplished nothing except possibly pushing him further into this other girl's arms. Good luck!
2006-10-04 11:53:31 · answer #8 · answered by Jemma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't be worried about his reaction, he must not care to much about the relationship w/ you if he is hiding an on line flirt fest.
It is not fair for you to feel like you are the one in the wrong..... because your not !!!!
Go ahead and write her and him and tell them both how much they deserve each other and then go on to tell him your better off with someone who isn't so into himself and heartless.
2006-10-04 11:56:32 · answer #9 · answered by i love my 2 girls 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reading his email without his knowledge is bad enough.
If I were you I would email her from his email and tell him you are doing it!!! Or have him email her in front of you! Let her know who you are and what you are to him and that he is not interested so quit with the emails.
If you have the balls enough to want to chat with her have the balls to be up front and honest too!
2006-10-04 11:51:57 · answer #10 · answered by WENDY G 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋