You love your wife dearly, you've cheated before, a long time ago. Now you find out that she's been cheating on you with her very first lover. PLS NOTE: This is the first time she cheats (well as far as you know or think)
You want to forgive her. You love her. You just can't stop thinking about it.
My Big Question is: How do you let go of these thoughts?
2006-10-04 11:35:57 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You will never let go of the thoughts only try to work on it with her ,if you still want to be with her.But you will never forget it compleatly.
2006-10-04 11:39:27 · answer #1 · answered by a1_friend64 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man this is a tough one. I would sit her down at home, where you have no distractions and let her know that you know what's going on. (Be sure to offer proof of your accusation so she can't deny it) I would then ask her where you, as a couple go from here. That way, she knows that you are aware of the affair (if you're lucky it might have just been a one time thing) and you two can plan if you want to part ways, as painful as that may be, or attempt to seek counseling for the issue. As for not being able to stop thinking about it, I really can't tell you how to deal with that. I guess the only answer to that is to give it time.
2006-10-04 11:41:04 · answer #2 · answered by Captain James 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have no idea really. But I have wondered if I did find out something like that would I be able to forgive? I have had suspicions, no proof, and no desire to make a confrontation that if untrue could be more damaging to the relationship than if true.
What I mean is you have to decide if "love her dearly" includes forgiving her, and asking her to re-commit to your relationship. Will that work for you? Big Work for your heart, mind, and maturity. Best wishes.
2006-10-04 11:47:32 · answer #3 · answered by aggie_boyscout 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about it for a minute.
You cheated on her before, but she never cheated on you that you know of.
I do not see where you should be mad at her, because you did it to her even if it was along time ago. Now I recommend if you two want to stay together, then get professional counseling and I wish you two the best.
2006-10-04 11:47:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In short you don't or at least not entirely.
Time is all you can give the hurt feelings that and a lot of talking it through with her.
After many agonizing years it does get better i know I've been there.
But I'll tell you this it's going to be bloody hard going. I hope you a brave man you'll need to be.
The pain doesn't ever go away it's more that in time you learn to bury it so deep it hardly ever touches you anymore.
2006-10-04 11:41:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Invite the guy over, let him get real comfortable, whip the cam corder out and have gang bang.
Have a party. The only reason you feel a little jealous is cause you feel left out.
Admit it.
It'll make a great documentary. You'll get over it real fast.
I cheated on my wife too. But all I really wanted was a threesome.
If you go through with this, you may be able to get your wish of a threesome with her and one of her beautiful friends.
Oh yeah, let me know if it works if you try it.
2006-10-04 11:38:57 · answer #6 · answered by CHEYENNE 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok buddy, I dont know if I could forgive her, if you want to bet past it then you guys are both going to need counseling, this is not going to go away on its own. Get yourselves into a good program and start focusing on each other, it wont be easy but hopefully you can save your marriage.
2006-10-04 11:40:19 · answer #7 · answered by snoop_dougie_doug04 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This may not be what you want to hear, but listen.
She cheated on you because you're not giving her something she needs. Ask yourself what that is. What are you not giving her?
Now, give that to her as generously as possible.
Also - communicate - don't do it from an I'm right You're wrong perspective - this is about making it work - why isn't it working?
FP
2006-10-04 11:39:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very hard to let go...
But if she is willing to keep this relation with you she can do a lot for you to honestly and easily let go, by making good time last longer and your mind focus in positive and lovely moments instead of keep thinking that she cheats on you...
Try it, if she is in go for it...
Otherwise, let her go, it will just hurt you badly.
2006-10-04 11:39:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u nver will, but if u want to continue this relationship, u must at least put them aside and never throw them up in an arguement. if u can not do this then the only solution is the big D
2006-10-04 11:41:43 · answer #10 · answered by keithy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋