My best friend claimed to tell me everything. She has a past of not choosing good boyfriends so I'm like...of course not approving of some of the guys she chooses. Bad. I know. But! She was talking to another friend on the bus and the friend I was sitting with overheard their convo and asked me, "Who asked her out?" I had no clue cause I had heard no mention of it. I asked my best friend and she lied straight to my face. I learned that she had been going out with a guy for about two days now. He's not a great guy either. What do I do?
2006-10-04 11:19:35 · 30 answers · asked by typicalbutiluvyou 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Be interested. I have a friend like you. I love her to death but there are some things that I don't tell her because I don't feel like listening to it. You will have to learn just to be supportive even if you don't approve. Friends aren't generally looking for approval from one another. They want the reassurance that when it falls apart that they have a friend that can comfort them instead of critisize them.
As for her lying to you...its not the way I would have done it but I understand why she did it.
2006-10-04 11:30:15 · answer #1 · answered by smilestoomuch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay okay, no worries it sounds like your the "good" friend in this pair. She probably didn't tell you because she knew you wouldn't approve. All you can do is be supportive for your friend if you really feel like she is your true friend. Or dumb the girl and find new friend who you can trust and trust you. Also I don't know either of you but you are who your friends are, maybe you don't want to be hanging around a girl who would rather have a not so great guy, then a best friend. Good Luck
2006-10-04 11:23:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
What do you do? Nothing! Honestly, I know you care about her, but the fact that she lied says something. Maybe when you do give your opinions about the guys she dates, she just might resent it - even if your right. She's going to have to learn for herself. What you need to do is be her friend and back off at the same time. In other words, continue to be her friend, talk to her as normal, let her confide into you when she wants too but don't pry. Distance yourself enough that if she DOES ask your opinion about a guy - just shrug your shoulders and say "I don't know, I'm not the one dating him!" Find some new friends - she'll come to you when she wakes up!
2006-10-04 11:27:14 · answer #3 · answered by Kristen G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There must be a reason why she isnt telling you. Since you dont think hes a great guy and shes your best friend, she probably knows you well enough to assume you wouldnt like him anyway. If she cared, she would have told you instead of lying to you straight up - but then again you said shes known to date guys that arent boyfriend material.
I suggest you confront her, let her know youre concerned and hurt, but dont sound apologetic, she lied to you!!
2006-10-04 11:28:00 · answer #4 · answered by slipgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you're not her mother and she seems to be capable of making her own decisions. Even though you may not approve of her choices, you are not involved in her relationship and therefore have no say as to who she can, can't, should, or should not date. Keep your opinions to yourself and remember that she is your friend and you should support her no matter what decisions she makes. She may have lied to you because she was too kind to tell you that it's none of your business. Maybe she thought you would be too judgmental...it's obvious you care, but you can't force her to change her choices...that's something she'll have to do on her own.
2006-10-04 11:31:09 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur frend might have lied b/c she new u were goin to disaprove of him and she might have really liked him u need to sit down and talk to her and tell her that if she's goin to lie about the guys she dates b/c she nows ur going to disapprove them she should stop asking u 4 ur opinion but dont get all mad at her she lied for a good reason (i think) just talk 2 her
2006-10-04 11:25:50 · answer #6 · answered by A Luv 4 U 2 N V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone feels bad for the girl who dates jerks, no one cares about the friend who nurses her broken heart. If you love her, you just accept the fact that she views you as judgmental, and go on with your friendship. If you don't love her, try to find friends who share your values.
In my younger years, I was often in your shoes. I was the sober one, the helpful one, the reliable one, the good one --I just started choosing women who were more like me.
2006-10-04 11:25:15 · answer #7 · answered by steelypen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is obviously afraid to tell you, because she thinks you will judge her...which you will....
She sounds like she is headed down a different path than you are, maybe you should be checking out new prospects for friends..
You can't make her choices for her, so stop worrying.. it won't change a thing......
Take care of your life and get on with it.....
2006-10-04 11:25:41 · answer #8 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront her.
Tell her you love her and that you are worried about the decisions she has been making with her choice in guys. If she is a good friend, she will respect your thoughts and maybe listen/
2006-10-04 11:22:16 · answer #9 · answered by GirlInMassachusettTOWN 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you didn't and don't appreciate her lieing to you...then tell her why he is not a good guy to go out with..i had this same problem..my friends boyfriend was sexual harassing me...and i told her and she didn't believe me until she was in the principal ofice one day crying b/c he wouldn't stop..jsut tell her what you feel!
2006-10-04 11:22:27 · answer #10 · answered by Meggee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋