If you are married or in a long term relationship and have kids, but are not happy with your mate and do not love them, why do you remain in the relationship? We have 2.5 kids, have been together over 4 years, are total opposites in every imaginable way, get along ok most of the time, but I'm not in love with him and I don't think he's really in love with me (anymore). I woke up a few days ago and realized that I don't love him and I don't think I ever did. It's easy for people to suggest leaving, but if you are in the same situtation you realize it's not that easy, especially with kids. Any advice or is anyone willing to share their experiences?
2006-10-04 10:46:23 · 9 answers · asked by october g 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, if you're married to him then I would suggest counseling and try to find out what went wrong between the two of you. If you're just in a LTR, and you feel this way about each other, then you should break up. It doesn't matter if you have 2 kids and one on the way, that doesn't mean he can't be apart of his children's lives. You may want to just talk to him about it and be upfront about your feelings. Really express what you are thinking and how you feel and then see what he says.
2006-10-04 12:30:27 · answer #1 · answered by danikatspecial 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you are not happy in your marriage or even a long term relationship, you should probably look into why you are not happy and if leaving would make you happy (with or without kids). What do you want from the relationship that you feel is missing? What is the benefit in staying vs. leaving? Could you stay together without love and what effect will that have on you both? On the kids? When it was apparent I no longer loved my ex, we began to argue all the time and it disturbed the kids. There probably is no "right" answer to this question. It really depends on several questions that you should ask one another.
2006-10-04 11:06:07 · answer #2 · answered by terryoulboub 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
many reasons that people stay cause there unhappy.
There scared of the unknown. some say why bother have to start all over again. or getting to old doest' want to go into old age alone.
Some for money reason would be to costly and to have to devide up things.
Some may love where they live and they don't want to have to give up the house. .
Some stay for the sake of seeing the kids as they may feel they won't be able to see as much of them if they divorce.
the list goes on and on. bottom line there will always be excuses. When you have had enough then your ready to go.
No one can tell you. You have to be ready yourself.
2006-10-04 20:47:21 · answer #3 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ya'll are still together because of the kids.you don't want your kids growing up without a daddy.if i was your age ,and had kids,i wouldn't want my kids to not have a father.but if he ever hit me im gone.if it gets bad to where you don't want to lay in the same bed,then maybe you should leave.if its that bad you need tofind someone you love.(advice from a13 yr old)(im good huh?)(write back)
2006-10-04 10:53:42 · answer #4 · answered by R3D_10 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he is not abusing you mentally or physically.you need to put the interest of the children first.you have been able to to hang in there for a while please do so now.you both know you don't love each other anymore.marriage is a ******shoot sometimes you just have to deal with it.talk to him.you may just be surprised. respect each other and be good to the children
2006-10-04 11:08:13 · answer #5 · answered by miraclehand2020 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IM IN THE SITUATION.I THINK IM STILL HERE BECAUSE AS A MOM MY KIDS HAVE ALWAYS COME 1ST AND IF I STAY HERE AT LEAST I KNOW THEY ARE FED AND HAVE A ROOF OVER THEIR HEADS. ITS A SECURITY ISSUE FOR ME. BUT NO IM NOT HAPPY.AND SOME DAYS I ASK BUT WHAT ABOUT ME? SORRY I WAS ABSOLUTELY NO HELP. JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE IN THIS SITUATION.
2006-10-04 10:53:54 · answer #6 · answered by Kat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are definately not the only person in this situation. I have been in this situation for over three years now. I still don't know what i am gonna do.
2006-10-04 13:33:11 · answer #7 · answered by lovespell 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
two and a half kids? I would like to see what a half kid looks like. You need to find the other half of ya'lls kid. Do you want me to start a search party?
2006-10-04 11:27:09 · answer #8 · answered by the_saint1963 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
how can you have 2.5 kids?
2006-10-04 10:51:26 · answer #9 · answered by italiana2683 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋