Why do women think if they have to tell thier spouse what they need, it doesn't count?

Answer 1

Can you clarify? Give an example?

Answer 2

Because if the woman vocalizes her needs in her mind (and this is just my opinion based what I have read and observed in my life), then that somehow cheapens the effect of you providing that need.

Now does it really cheapen it? no not really, but that is how it is percieved, and that is one of the many things that mature relationships have to get over, if they are to grow and survive.

No man is a mind reader ladies, and what may be pefectly clear to you, MAY NOT be perfectly clear to your mate. It does not help to assume that because he does not automatically detect need A, and then meet that need through Action B that he does not love you or value you the way that he should. (which is a relative judgement that would change from relationship to relationship).

Women want you to read their minds, and sometimes you get lucky and get it right, and somtimes you don't.

I hope this explains it... and again, because I am a man, and this is about women in general... i could be horribly wrong.

Answer 3

I think that if you expect your spouse to just know what you need, it is living in a fantasy world. Men do not have the ability to read our minds. We have to tell them what we need. It makes them happy to tell them. I am not married, but I am not living in a fantasy world anymore either. I use to think that people close to me should be able to "read" me. It isn't so. No one can fully read others. I feel I can tell others what I need and it isn't so bad after all. I think some people also have a fear of rejection that if they do tell them, they will be rejected on certain things. If we are adults, we just say yay or nay and go on, no hard feelings.

Answer 4

What do you mean by "count"? It does seem to mean more when you've been observant, and were thoughtful enough to discover for yourself. It makes it seem like you aren't trying very hard if you have to ask. On the other hand, it's nice that you care enough to ask, and that should count for something, too.

Answer 5

Because they don't want to have to say what they need, they want their husband to already know it. Women are always dropping little clues here and there, and I think we believe if men just payed attention, they would know the answer to what we really want. If a women has to tell her husband what she wants, she equates that to him not listening to her.
It's dumb I Know, but it's just one of our little quirks. Although Men do it too.

Answer 6

Because most of them dont realize that men are simple and cant figure it out themselves. It really does suck when you have to hold a mans hand and walk him through the relationship.

Answer 7

lol age old question man have been trying to figure out for years huh.

give you an example. its valentines day and if you ask silly enough do you want me to get you something. then like forget it then it feels like you didnt' really want to do it your only doing it cause she has to ask you and if she has to ask you then she dosen't want it. You should do something like that without being told she wants something on love day.

hope that helps you understand us a bit better.

Answer 8

guessing on your unclear question , I would say because we tell them how and when to do everything else. why not tell them how to have a smooth going relationship at home too.

Answer 9

Because then we might as well marry a robot and program it to what we want him to do...we want it to be their original idea and their thoughts...Its romantic.