anyone else feel like this?

Question

Am i just crazy or does anyone else feel like the ugliest and most unwanted on the planet when your husband watches porn when he knows if makes you feel horrible about yourself. He says he don't watch it but he won't delete if off his computer...am i being nuts

i want to have sex with him everyday! i never turn him down i try differant stuff with him anything we wanted to do i would. I feel like i'm not good enough for him but he won't delete it

Answer 1

I wish you didn't feel that way about yourself. I know I wouldn't like it if my spouse watched it. I know that it enhances other couples lives as it gives them ideas. If he won't respect your wishes, there is something not right. Especially if he knows it bothers you. You should not base your self worth on something worthless. You are worth more than some porn flick. I know it can become addicting to people. Ask him to sit down with you and really talk about it and to be honest. See if you two can come to some resolution about it. I know it turns guys on and it does the same for some women. I will be praying you both can work it out.

Answer 2

You are not crazy.. personally, I do not have this problem, but if I did, I would give an ultimatum quick. You or the porn. It sounds like your husband has an addiction and he should probably see someone professionally for it. If he doesn't stop, then leave... you don't deserve it. You are beautiful and wanted and if he is just too dumb to put away his porn to find out... then it is his loss, not yours.

By the way, I personally feel as though looking at porn is a form of adultery. If you do it in your heart, you might as well have already done it in real life... So he is cheating on you... you have every right to be angry.

Answer 3

Is he comparing you to the women on the porn or making comments about your appearance in general? Maybe you could watch it with him, get sexy lingerie and act out some of the scenes. I'm a woman and I watch porn myself and even read playboy and those type of magazines and I'm perfectly fine with not having a body like these women because my boyfriend is happy with me the way I am. He likes to go to strip clubs with is friends for special occasions and I told him that as long as he doesn't come home and want what he sees there, I'm fine with it. He said that my job is to work in a psychology lab and a stripper's/porn star's job is to look the way they do and have to put in the hours at the gym/salon/tanning booth to look that way. If your husband expects you, a real woman, to be like those actresses, get a new husband because he has unrealistic expectations and no respect for your feelings. But if it's just you being a little insecure, go get some stuff waxed, get a facial and a good push up bra and make him forget about porn for a night or two.

Answer 4

Crazy? No, perhaps a bit too hard on yourself and your husband? yes.

Let me put it to you this way my dear, your husband if he is like most men, doesn't use the porn as a crutch that he must employee in order to ready himself for a romantic interlude with you.

It isn't that he isn't attracted to you or doesn't want to make love to you, if that were the case, he would be unable to do the deed. Or atleast it would be harder, and you would notice other signs, like he has to drink in order to get ready or somthing like that.

Men are visual creatures, and sometimes he may watch porn when you are unavailable for sexual activity, when you aren't there, or when you aren't in the mood when you are on your period that sort of thing.

I would not take it as a personal affront that your husband has and or uses pornography, it DOES NOT mean that he isn't attracted to you. What I would do if I were you is you might try to enjoy it with him as an enhancement to your love life.

If this is not possible for you, then talk to your husband about your concerns, but do so in a way that is respectful, but open and honest.

He does not have this porn to offend you, (or atleast it does not sound like he does, and I would be willing to bet that it has nothing to do with you at all why he has it). Having it does not make him sick, or make you inadequate as a lover, nor does it make a statement about your relationship in any real way.

If you make your concerns known, then maybe he can have a conversation (not an arguement) about this subject where you can come to a mutually satisfying compromise.

I would talk to your husband, maybe he doesn't really understand how it makes you feel or how badly you feel about it.

If he loves you however, I would think that this topic would be one that you would want to resolve as a couple.

I hope this helps.

Answer 5

You know my husband did the same thing to me,and no he didn't stop or deny it. I was in the same position as you,let me tell you what he made a comment about only watching blonds with big boobs,come to find out his ex is a blond with big boobs,and they were talking to each other the whole time behind my back. i had a gut feeling and come to find out 3 1/2 yrs later,i should have investigated that porn matter a little closer!... or he could just be addicted to it - or he just doesn't care about your feelings- or he's not attracted to you. girl if i were you id get on this problem now.you deserve respect.and if that doesn't help start looking at big penis's and challenge his manhood let him wonder if hes got a small one. maybe then he'll know how you felt when he was looking at those women. alot of women dont care if their men look at that garbage and alot of us do care, it all depends on how a man comes of when he's done looking at porn, does he turn to you or away from you!

Answer 6

He obviously knows he's winding you up cause you've made it so obvious that you hate him watching porn. Take a step back a bit, go out girl and buy yer self some sexy undies and maybe something for bedtime, while yer out pick up a mag wiv loads of hunkier men inside then accidentally on purpose leave it open for him to see. You'll probably be surprised at his reaction........ (insecurity or what?)

I'm sure your not ugly cause if you were do you think he would be wiv yer? i bet not. Come on i'm sure you can turn the tables on this one. Forget about being prudish, been there done that and now grown up.

If that's his main fault lady your on a winner!

Answer 7

No you're not crazy, but having three brothers I was lucky enough to learn about there sometimes "alien-like" behavior. Trust me, it has nothing to do with you, I know it's hard to believe, but 99% of men like to watch porn once in a while, most of them won't admit to it as they've already found out it could really hurt a woman, for some reason or another it has absolutely nothing to do with wanting to be with another woman, or looking at these fake women, as in longing to be with one like that! No it has nothing to do with that at all. To them it's sort of a physical thing, they know it's not reality, neither would they want it to be! They're just well... being a man I guess. Talk to him about it and also that you prefer not to be confronted with that, as to force him not to watch it ever again, he will do it secretly in the end... Believe me, ask any psychologist!
don't take it personal, he's with you and that's reality good luck I hope I haven't offended you.

Answer 8

Yes I do.When I was married my husband watched porn too.He would try to sneak it. I know it really didn't have a reflection on how he saw me,but how can you compete with the porn.I would feel so bad about myself.He is gone THANK GOD,but not for that reason.He had a dozen other ways to make me feel like a loser on top of that.For some reason men want to have sex with themselves as often as with us.Go figure.Don't let it make you think you are no good.Its a guy thing.

Answer 9

You feel however you want to feel, the actions that are taken in and out of your life will have a small influence on it. However ultimatly you make yourself feel the way you want to.

Just accept the fact that he enjoys porn, most guys do. Treat it as some form of entertainment, only get worried when his thoughts/fantasies turn into actions.

Perhaps you should ask him if there is anything he wants to do, like play out a porn of his own with you.

If you can't beat him, join him, there is lots of fun to be had.

Answer 10

Some men just don't understand how awful their porn watching can make their woman feel. I even offered to watch it with mine, but he said he didn't want that, so what else are you suppossed to think? He is choosing to be turned on by someone other than you. It's disrespectful to you and your relationship. Good luck to you.