What should I do???

Question

Okay, I have this friend that has started to cut herself and finds it cool, when it isn't. Lately, she has been painting her nails black and is drawing bones on herself with black sharpie. I don't know why she is doing such a terrible thing when she's got friends, is confident, and is always happy. I've been trying to calmly tell her that doing this (cutting esp.) is not right and I seriously disapprove and she should stop, so now she's ticked off about me being "obsessive" about this situation when I barely bring it up! Oh, and my other friend ids treating me bad and mimmicking my saying that it isn't right. Let me remind you that I barely ever bring my disapproval up.

i told her i was concerned and she just told me 2 back off and then said that it's her life, not mine. I'm just totally am in a state of confusion b/c she's not emo or goth or somethin' like that.

Answer 1

if they won't listen to you, i'm not sure what you should do. there's only so much that can be done. tell her that you're not trying to yell at her, but that you reallu care about her and want her to stop hurting herself.

Answer 2

Let's just say I was in this whole scene...
Lots of goth friends and people that seemed to care less what they did to themselves. (including me.) So you telling her don't do this and don't do that, even trying to get "Adults involved" is not going to help but just make the problem worst, and I'll tell you why. Most of these type of people are having issues family wise with there parents, and its usually a lack of control in there own lives stemming from there parents. So they do these things to tick off parents to show they have control over there own body (even if it means defacing it, screw the consequences, so we all used to think) The point is don't play into the game as a "concerned friend". Sure you want to say something, sure you want her to stop. But what I would suggest is start to be cold to her and treat her almost in a disgusting manner and when enough time has passes tell her, "You know what...the only reason why your do the things that your do...like paint your nails, and doing your cutting, trying to be goth...Its not because your SPECIAL or trying to be DIFFERENT, its - all - to - try - and - get -some- attention."
She may be pissed and retaliate but those words will start to reflect llater when she's looking at herself in the mirror. Give it a shot. What do you got to lose?

Answer 3

Something is going on in her life that no one knows about, obviously. She is defensive, and on edge. If she just likes the black, Gothic look, and prefers to draw bones on herself, that's her preference. But the fact that she's cutting herself shows that something's wrong. The most you can do is talk to a mature, caring adult about the situation (maybe your parent(s) or your guidance counselor at school). Don't mention her name, but just tell them that you're a concerned friend because she needs help.

Answer 4

Maybe she isn't happy, but doesn't show it. If she cuts herself, clearly something is wrong...You should just keep encouraging her to stop it, otherwise she may either seriously hurt herself or kill herself (Sorry to be straight forward with that, but its possible). Maybe ask her if anything's wrong?

And if your other "friend" is mimicking you, then it sounds like they aren't a friend at all. Maybe look for some new friends, or just ignore her. If nothing works, tell her how you feel.

Good luck!

Answer 5

First, simply tell her how ugly the scars will be down the road. Don't say "it's not right" - tell her the truth - that you think she's disgusting for doing it, and so will the guys she'll want to date down the road. And end it. Find different freinds. You don't have to be rude to her, or stop talking to her all together - just distance yourself, find others to hang out with that have common interests. You cannot convince someone that what they are doing is wrong - they need to figure that out on their own.

Answer 6

sounds like shes doing it for attention or maybe something serious is going on and thats how shes dealing w/it. After trying so hard to help her the only solution is to go to someone that can help(teacher, parent, principal, councelor). She may get mad for a while but its better than for her to take it to extremes and well kill herself.

Answer 7

YOU SHOULD TELL YOUR FRIEND THAT YOUR CONCERNED!AND IF IT COMES TO TELLING HER PARENTS DO WHATS BEST!ALSO, TELL HER TO JOIN AFTER SCHOOL TO GET HER MIND OFF HER ANGER!SHE'S GOTH AND HAS PROBLEMS!

Answer 8

Disassociate yourself from them

Answer 9

well maybe something happened to her and she does that to cover it up or she has friends that do that