I think it's really great to give the child a chance for a new life, but on the other hand when they grow up, do they resent YOU for that and always want to find their biological parents? Not in all cases I'm sure. But then my boyfriend always says "we can't adopt because you never know what you're gonna get". He's joking, but it's kinda true in a way. If you get a drug baby or a bad kid... i guess you just have to love them more huh?
2006-10-04 09:39:51 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
I am the step mother to two beautiful children - 7 and 9. They moved into our house 1 year ago, and were so starving for attention that they decided to call me mom, and I took on that role immediately. (All this from falling in love with their dad 2.5 years ago.) So, they were living in filth and ignored and being raised by racial bigots. Now they are educated and tolerant loving human beings. It took a year of re-arranging their molding from the other place to get them looking at the world through open eyes instead of their great grandparents eyes. Now that the hard work is done, they LOVE me and obey, and actually WANT to help with chores. They are angels, and as long as I see them as angels, that is what they will be. If I begin to see their faults, that is when they would turn on me. I need to be the encourager and the motivator and the role model. Living here is better than any other place they've lived, and they are very appreciative. Now that I'm lifting my grip on their every move, they are ever so lovingly wanting to do the right thing. It all depends on how you rear the child. The only thing that would hold a baby back would be if they are addict babies or have a mental illness like downs syndrome or autism or Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. If the kids have none, then there is hope for a fabulous life of love and respect. It's all up to the parent.
2006-10-04 16:50:12 · answer #1 · answered by jennilaine777 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was adopted, as was my sister. I have no desire to look for the biological - but my sister did. And no, no resentment - the opposite actually. When adopted - you know that you where a "mistake" (if there wasn't a tragedy) but u also know that whoever adopted you - wanted you. Thats a certainty. As far back as I can remember - I knew i was. Is there lingering effects ? Perhaps - But being a parent is about giving love and teaching and whatnot - not about mixing eggs & sperm. Idiots can do that.
- kids are more of a product of their enviroment than they are a biological result. Be a good parent and it won't matter who owned the womb
2006-10-04 13:33:22 · answer #2 · answered by realguy989 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way we reproduce leaves a lot to chance. Adopting is no more risky than carrying a child to full term. Still don't know what you have until they have aged. All children seem to be resentful of their parents at some point in time. Me I've adopted an entire planet of people I don't like most of the time. OK you don't have red hair. lol
2006-10-04 12:06:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What your husband says about not knowing what you are going to get, is just asinine. You don't know what kind of child you are going to get when your own child is born, does that make you love them less?? I don't think so. My daughter is adopted and she has never resented me. As a matter of fact, when she turns 18, we are going together to meet the biological mother. Giving birth does not make you a mother, anyone can give birth but it takes a special person to be a mom.
2006-10-04 10:04:56 · answer #4 · answered by terrilee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Adopted children are the luckiest, because they are chosen..."
I think it is wonderful to adopt. My husband and I want to adopt in a few years... There are soooo many children without a home,.. just breaks my heart!! Maybe one day they kid may be a little resentful because they never knew their parents, but it isn't the adopted parents fault... they did a great thing.
There are too many kids out there that need lvoe and a home... Why worry about "what you might get" when there are children in need of love? I dont think you sholuld worry.
2006-10-04 09:46:59 · answer #5 · answered by seren_dipity_3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that the idea of adoption is one of the truest signs that humans are essentially good beings. To care for offspring not your own puts us in a special category of species.
When I was younger, I would have agreed with your boyfriend and not wanted anything to do with another person's progeny and responsibility.
I have children of my own and a step daughter and there is nothing I would not do for any of them. If something were to happen to me and my wife, I would want to know that someone would value my children and take care of them.
It is sad when good people can't have children when so many seemingly undeserving people bring so many unwanted children into the world.
I find it inspirational that some generous souls find it within themselves to step up and make the world a better place. I have immense respect for adopting parents whether they are mundane folks or actor/popstars.
That is truely putting it on the line and walking the walk.
2006-10-04 16:14:08 · answer #6 · answered by aka DarthDad 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I adopted a girl when she was 3 weeks old. It took 18 months to get her cause we wanted a girl. When she was a baby she would say to me "I am your baby he heart" (she couldn't say sweet) She was adopted in 1969. When she was about 8 yrs old we told her that she was adopted and would help her out if she wanted to know who her biological parents were.
Back then they wouldn't tell you who the parents were. She is now married and has a baby girl and is due in December for her second girl. She has not resented us and we love her very much as we do our two sons and all the grandchildren.
2006-10-04 11:16:39 · answer #7 · answered by Alien 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's important for people to adopt, but I see what you mean. I have a brother and sister who were adopted when they were 5 and 7. They had a hard life before that. My parents were far from perfect, but they loved them and tried very hard. They both hate my mom now and are very disfunctional. I think it can be hard, but what would happen if no one tried?
2006-10-04 09:46:14 · answer #8 · answered by Juli 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel that it is really great that there are people out there willing to give up their own kids to give to a family who cannot have their own children. Matter a fact im thinking about adoption my self and love every minute of it.
2006-10-04 09:42:53 · answer #9 · answered by turtle 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My father was adopted and he has never looked for his birth mother. He said there was no reason for it and he is grateful because she could of had an abortion and then he or I would not be around nor my kids.
It doesn't matter if you adopt or have your own. You never know what you going to get either way. I have 4 kids. One has ADHD and he is hard to handle sometimes but I love him no matter what.
2006-10-04 09:47:24 · answer #10 · answered by honey75 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋