..the battered wife syndrome...to no avail..i cannot seem to put it in words to make them understand what it is etc...also i would like some input on what it is called when it is just boyfriend and girlfriend that live together....
2006-10-04 08:53:26 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
i am trying to explain it to a guy in the medical field no less...he does not get it!
the beautiful girl i am concerned about is very very dear to me....
2006-10-04 09:09:22 · update #1
i am trying to explain it to a guy in the medical field no less...he does not get it!
the beautiful girl i am concerned about is very very dear to me....
2006-10-04 09:09:30 · update #2
dont know how my comment came up twice...its been that kind of day...anyway...thanks for the great answers...i am going to use them all...
2006-10-04 09:11:01 · update #3
You can call it a domestic partnership (either partner could be battered.) Domestic partner abuse, I guess.
Basically, there's a cycle that the abuse takes: the pressure builds until the abusive partner just blows up. Beating, screaming fits, breaking things, killing pets, threatening children or jobs or the pets that are still alive. Abusive partners will go to great extremes to destroy their partner's sense of equilibrium. Then, there's the, "I'm so sorry phase"--flowers, candy, stuffed animals, an ice pack for the bruises. All that sh!t about, I'll never do it again, you just make me so jealous, why did you make me hit you? The abused partner is totally thrown by the attention--he/she believes that the abuser will change (or really *wants* the abuser to change) and hopes for the best to save the "relationship." Then, things settle down, until the tension builds again, and the cycle repeats itself.
This abuse happens to smart people, educated people, rich and poor, all ages, all races, all cultures. Abuse cuts across all lines, all demographics. Most people in abusive relationships (abuser and victim both) had abusive childhoods, which lets them know the best way to abuse to make the greatest impact and also that abuse is "normal" since they don't know any different.
It's about power, control, and violence--violence toward things, bodies, minds, animals--whatever's within reach. Abusers brainwash their victims--the abuse makes the victim overwhelmed and in shock. Then, when the abuser says that the victim is a bad person who deserves to be treated badly, that the victim is a burden and lucky to be in a relationship, that the victim is to blame for everything wrong...well, it's hard for the victim to argue. Argument could get the victim killed. Abusers threaten their victims economically, emotionally, physically, sexually, and via pets and children. And people die from it--the threat is real, and every victim knows that the abuser could snap and kill. You don't need statistics--you can just look in an abuser's eyes and know what's possible.
Domestic abuse is a horrible, horrible scourge. How can people reach their full potential when their homes are war zones? How can we advocate peace for countries when partners can't create peace in a single home? I was abused as a child, and I think I've subconsciously avoided real romantic relationships because I'm afraid of getting involved with an abuser. I'm not 100% sure that I could spot it ahead of time, or get out before it was too late. Abuse of all forms is intolerable--I nearly killed myself (on more than one occasion) because I felt like such a horrible person. If somebody doesn't understand abuse, contact a battered women's shelter or your local Contact hotline or abuse hotline and ask if they have any educational materials or programs or women who are willing to talk about their experiences. I'm glad you're trying to educate people--keep up the good work and don't ever get convinced that it's not important. Talking about abuse is the first step to dealing with it.
2006-10-04 09:15:36 · answer #1 · answered by SlowClap 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't feel there really is a difference in man/wife and girlfriend/boyfriend when it comes to this syndrome. Simply put, the woman in this instance is mentally, verbally, and physically abused. Most often they begin to doubt their self-worth, fear for their lives, and it takes counseling and determination to take that big step and leave before it's too late. Counseling is advisable and needed long after the split as there is always some lingering amount of mental carnage and lack of self-esteem. I'm not a doctor or health professional, just someone who's been there.
2006-10-04 09:07:28 · answer #2 · answered by okmyrna 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, when people live together, you could call it battered partner or whatever. It doesn't really matter because the behaviors are very similar.
what is your friend not understanding? If you friend is the battered one, keep up the effort to save her, but don't get too frustrated if she doesn't get it. Denial is part and parcel of the whole thing.
2006-10-04 08:58:48 · answer #3 · answered by MornGloryHM 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
what it is called when it is just boyfriend and girlfriend that live together....COMMON LAW/COHABITATIONAL
Battered person syndrome is a physical and psychological condition that is classified as ICD-9 code 995.81 "Battered person syndrome" NEC or otherwise included within DSM-IV as a sub-category of post-traumatic stress disorder. This condition has been used as a defence by women who have experienced long-term physical and psychological abuse, and have killed their abusers. This was called battered woman syndrome by Walker (1979).
2006-10-04 08:58:13 · answer #4 · answered by Sylver 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You love him, you think he loves you. He beats you, you think he loves you, and your self esteem is low, and you don't think that anyone else will love you (also because he beats you) So you stay with him. When really you're worth more than that, and you've done nothing wrong. But you don't understand that because he has brainwashed and beat out of you any common sense.
And it's called battered woman syndrome then. ;)
2006-10-04 08:56:36 · answer #5 · answered by Me It's a Secret 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋