What is a good age gap between siblings?

Question

My son will be two in November, and my husband and I have been talking about trying for another in february. Well, our son was conceived in February of '04. I think that having their b'days so close will be a problem. Should we try a little sooner, or will that be fine? We just want our son to be a little older before we have a nother child. So my husband thinks that him being three when we have another child would be best. What do you all think?

I am really not looking for studies and statistics, just what has worked for others.
I am ready to have another child now. LOL. We aren't quite financially ready for that yet tho. A raise is due in in about two three months. We are a one income household.

Not to be mean to those who said five years, but I can't wait another three years. LOL. That would be torture. I can see how it would work better, but that wouldn't be for me.

Answer 1

my son was nearly 3 when my daughter was born. He never was jealous, but wanted to help and play with her. He was also big enough to feel that he was the one who had to protect her.

Answer 2

I personally think that the age gap between my daughter and son is all but perfect. When I had my son in January of this year my daughter was 2 1/2. I was very concerned that it was going to be too emotional on her and at times she's a little bit jealous - but for the most part it has worked out great. The financial issue - are you ever really financially ready for a child?? All that matters is that you are making a choice for the "right" reasons. There is nothing better than having children timing doesn't matter.

Answer 3

I am actually living out your possible scenario! Our son will be 3 in November and our new baby is 7 weeks old today. We wanted to be pregnant for our son's b-day last year, but it took us until Christmas. I know that right now is a stressful time with me . . just returning to work, trying to establish schedules, etc., but here is what I have learned so far. As far as jealousy issues, they have been much better than expected. Our son is soooo good with his little sister. He loves her sooo much. For the most part everything has gone pretty good. The hardest part is trying not to get frustrated when the baby is crying and he is misbehaving at the same time. It is very easy for be to overact with him out of frustration. It is also hard to get everyone ready on time in the mornings. I haven't tried going somewhere with both of the kids without someone to help me.

But, all of these issues will pass with time and I think that my children will be very close growing up. My husband and I wanted our children to grow up together as friends and also maybe be able to share other friends. I think we are still at an overwhelming stage, but I don't regret having them this close together.

I hope this has helped. I feel like I have rambled, but it is hard explaining my experiences. Good luck!

Answer 4

We waited and put five years between our kids because we believe in very hands on parenting - nursing until the child weans himself, one parent at home, gentle, patient parenting with no hitting, not yelling, lots of reading, hiking, talking, etc.

We homeschool, thank goodness, or our oldest would barely know his brother and would have been pushed away from the family as his 'rival' arrived. NOT GOOD planning, I think. They are precious friends, playing a complicated miniatures game together right now.

Given who we are, we could not possibly have given to each of our children what we wanted to give to them if we had two babies (3 year olds are babies) at once.

We were reassured by the information about birth order and the impact of siblings on one's personality. The most successful people (depends on how you define that, but in standard western terms) are first borns. However, when there is 5 years spacing between children, each child has the traits of a first born.

Our concerns about being good enough parents also caused us to stop at two. We love love love parenting, but partly, i guess, because we can do it well this way. With three, or kids more closely together, we would be too stressed and too stretched to do our kids justice.

Remember, parenting is not for you - it's for them.

Answer 5

Well I am going to give you advice based on my own personal experience, of course. Three years is a fine age gap between the two children that is exactly the age difference between my younger brother and I. On that same note my sister is a whole eight years younger than me and that is way too much! I wish she was at most two years after my brother its just so hard to relate with her since we seem to always be in such different worlds. As for my brother and I we have been real close especially from highschool to present day. I hope this helps. Best Wishes

Answer 6

my daughter just turned 4 in September, we are due in December for #2. I think 4 years is good. The older sibling can help out more too and is a little more independent.

Answer 7

my siblings and cousins and I are all 2 years apart (currently 3,5,7,9,11,13) and we get along great! I'd say 2 years is a good age gap, they can relate to eachother but they aren't close enough in age to have the same friends when they are older which will create problems between them. (Having the same friends)

Answer 8

I suggest waiting to have a second until the first is in school to preserve your sanity. My the time the oldest is about 5 he will independent enough to help you when asked and to entertain himself well enough for you not to fell guilty over one child consuming all of your time.

Answer 9

Wait at least 25 years between children. Best advice on the net!

Answer 10

Many studies have shown that you need to wait at least18 months between pregnancies and that the optimal age seperation between siblings is about 30 months.