The situation: My mother is letting my son, her grandson (19 years old), stay at her house while she and my dad are gone on vacation. My mother never let me have a stay over guest in the same room until I was married which is understandable and I respected that. My son knows about that rule and knows how she feels, but he has asked my mother if his girlfriend could stay there with him a couple nights a week since she will be taking a class locally and it is very convenient. We all know the reality of that situation. He otherwise lives with his girlfriend anyhow and they do have sex. My mom knows this.
My mom has asked me for my opinion and I gave it to her already, but I was curious about what others though about this situation.
Whether you are in the place of the grandchild, parent, or grandarent- I would like to hear what you would say.
2006-10-04 08:01:22 · 25 answers · asked by Jacqueline 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
They are 19, and normally live together, let them sleep together and have sex. . . .
There are a lot more problems he could have, and he sounds pretty responsible.
No need to dwell on something so minor.
2006-10-04 08:05:00 · answer #1 · answered by a_blue_grey_mist 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pumpkin U should know, when mom's create "such" rule they are only for girls; boys are excluded. You know the fcking reason.
You wrote it was u who gave ur parents the go-ahead, so....ur parents trust ur judgment; so its bcx of u the kids got, ur parents blessings. I think u guys did a good job here. You son is old enough. With ur green signal he will remain at home and in front of ur eyes, else at the age of 19, he can do anything to get what he want. Jst keep in mind to put some restrictions too so that things won't go out of hand; so that they won't misjudge ur love/affection/blessings as there right and start abusing the situation.
2006-10-04 17:07:40 · answer #2 · answered by VJ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There will be a vast selection of opinions,
But maybe when you were that age, I am going on what my parents told me about this time,
20, 30, 40 years ago, it was politically incorrect, and "morally wrong" to do things like that out of wed-lock. But maybe your mom knows that times have changed, and things like that happen. I am actually in the position your son is in.
My boyfriend stays with me, and I live with my dad. My dad has told me he does not condone it, but I am an adult now, and I can make my own decisions. But I still respect my father and don't have sex in his house, when he's there.
If your son has respect enough for your parents to not constintaly throw it in their faces that they are... well ... f**king,
then I don't see the harm, but if it were me I would give my parents th whole, Well... Why does he get to do it, and I couldn't.
2006-10-04 08:10:51 · answer #3 · answered by danksprite420 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's wrong and you seem to think that too. In my experience sometimes as people get older they get more lax. In my family there are 12 years separating the oldest from the youngest. I always thought that my parents were pretty strict, but the youngest was allowed to live in my parents home with her boyfriend and son for 4 years. She was 17 when she had the baby.
Does your mom live alone? Maybe she's lonely and afraid that if she says no her grandson won't visit her anymore. Or maybe she figures that the girlfriend will be staying over anyway, she might as well give her permission.
2006-10-04 08:07:40 · answer #4 · answered by kat 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
1) The "My mother never..." statement doesn't get you anywhere. Your mother was about 20 years younger then (and people change), so comparing the two situations is apples and oranges.
2) He's going to have sex with her whether you like it or not. So, why not let them do it somewhere safe? Why drive them out to have to do it in a crappy motel or a park or wherever?
3) Anyone that invites anyone and their girlfriend/lover over KNOWS sex may happen. (Hell, about 10,238 things could also happen that would be far worse than two people enjoying sex.) If she didn't want it to happen then she shouldn't invite them over. Easy.
2006-10-04 08:08:55 · answer #5 · answered by Trixie D 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
At least you don't have to worry if you son got knocked up. after all he is 19.
Its a guy thing, we always get away with things that you women couldn't do. We could have our gf's over for the night. We knew the consequences. If we knocked up our gf.....we would have to take the responsibility for that mistake.
Leave the guy alone, live with it.....what could be the worse that could happen?
Oh yeah.....you being a grand mother at your age!
Well I know a woman that is 42 and she is a granny already.....no big deal.
2006-10-04 08:07:35 · answer #6 · answered by John M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, this situation is very common. Many young people marry and live in their parents' house for a bit. As for having sex, if it is nocticeable enough for you to know and post it on the web, then they should respect the household and put a clamp on biological urges right now.
2006-10-04 08:05:46 · answer #7 · answered by icyhott4urmind 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a child or grandchild, I would say that your son knows his grandmother doesn't approve, but put her on the spot by asking anyway. It is disrespectful. It's grandma's house, grandma's rules.
2006-10-04 08:05:02 · answer #8 · answered by gouldgirl2002 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well he is an adult, and times have changed a bit maybe there is less stigma than when your mom had control. At least he isnt 13, and his father lets him and his 13 yo gf come over and have sex against your wishes, like my gf and her ex are arguing about right now.
2006-10-04 08:05:22 · answer #9 · answered by tomhale138 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The guys 19 years old. What difference does it make if he's having sex?
2006-10-04 08:07:02 · answer #10 · answered by Chris J 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋