I am 17 and i live with my 23 yr old fiance.. we have been together for almost a year and half.. i am finishing high school and have a good job. My fiance has a awesome job too. we own our house and we both are doing great... i really want a baby .. my neighbor just had hers and i think him and I would be great parents.. what is your opinion about this? and how should i tell him I want a baby??
2006-10-04 07:45:07 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I say get a dog, let me explain.........
I was married really young and a lot more mature than others my age. My husband is 6 years older than me and he was the one who suggested we wait. I am so glad I did. I got to have some fun, we got to travel just the 2 of us, we spent the first 6 years of our marriage growing together.
Everytime his friends would have a new baby I would feel the clock ticking, but he would say, we are not ready. He was right. I would really get depressed like I was missing out. I was then told I couldn't have children. I was devestated. I clung to my cockatiels (pet birds) for my mothering outlet. I got really down again, so...he got me a ferret, then another ferret, 2 iguanas, a chameleon, 2 dogs, and finally after I officially "gave up" I got pregnant.
But, it was not the beautiful experience I had hoped. Because with biology, so much can go wrong. Why was I having kidney failure, kidney stones? I had to have a tube put into my kidney to stabilize the situation and keep my other organs from growing weak and failing. Why premature labor 5 times? Why was I concidered high risk, I wasn't over 30. I was even screened for an aneurysm, for fear of a stroke. (I am not trying to scare you but these things can happen)
I thought I was healthy, I ate great, didn't drink, never did drugs, I never even tried smoking, I thought why me?
Because things can unexpectedly go haywire. My husband always said we needed to make sure we could live off of just his income incase something happened. He was right and luckily we planned for that.
I was out of work for over 6 months. Mostly hospitilizations and mandatory bed-rest. But, after nearly 25K medical bills, we made it.
You have to be prepared for the worst, it sounds horrible, but things can happen. We were lucky afterwards everyone recovered and our son even with his genetic disorder is thriving.
I would tell him you want to start thinking of kids...make sure he is on the same page with you. Don't just "forget the old birth control" that happened to a friend of mine, come to find out he wasn't ready and left her, and the baby.
Talk it out, start setting goals to get you closer to being a bit more prepared. Offer to babysit a friends child or relative for a night or weekend.
Kids are harder than they look, trust me I'm 30 now and barely staying sane! I can't imagine raising my son even 5 years ago.
Give yourselves sometime together, you are 17 he is 23 there is still a bit of time before you need to worry about the old biological clock running out!
Finish school, go to college, have a career, then a family, it will give your child more opportunities in the long run.
Best of luck,
Been there done that, now a mom.
2006-10-04 08:17:53 · answer #1 · answered by Tanya N (thesingingbeaner) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will be fertile and can have kids for the next 25 years!!! That's two and half decades. What is your rush? Enjoy your youth! You will only be 17 once and you will only be a teenager once.
Spend lots of time with your neighbor's baby and offer to babysit, etc. Enjoy this. But please wait until you are married and until you have experienced more of life. This will make you a better parent when you become one.
Most teenagers have a romanticized idea of what being a mom is like and they have no idea what a strain it is on a relationship. They also think the baby will love them unconditionally. Being a mom can be rewarding, but it is alo the hardest thing you will ever do, and it can be very hard on even a solid marriage. And babies are so demanding!!
Marriage provides you legal protections if nothing else. Also, wait a couple of years after you are married so you can settle into your new life together and cement your bond as a couple. Save your money and do some traveling, take a course in something, improve your job skills and earning potential. Become the best person you can. Then become a parent. It will wait for you.
2006-10-04 14:57:26 · answer #2 · answered by EmLa 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I had my first child at 17. I was married, had a great relationship with my husband, and I finished high school. Here is the thing though. I would not change one thing about having my kids, but sometimes I do feel like I have been a mother all my life and have missed out on a lot of things. Be sure you are ready before making the decision to become a parent. It sounds like you have a good life and want to add more to it. If you are certain this is what you want, sit down your fiance and tell him that you are ready to start a family. One more thing, be sure to finish your education!
Best of luck!
2006-10-04 14:59:56 · answer #3 · answered by onewikkedwoman 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't listen to us here on Yahoo! You know your heart and where you are in life. I know some girls that did great with a child at 18 and others that were terrible. Make wise decisions based on your situation.
Also you mentioned fiance, why not wait until you get married? Have a honeymoon baby, you wont forget the conception then!
Ask your close friends and family if they think you are ready.
At 17 and 18 your body is just fine for having children so that is not an issue!
Good luck and take time making decisions!
2006-10-04 14:54:51 · answer #4 · answered by me4tennessee 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't choose to be "all grown up" just yet. The difference between 17 and 25 in the maturity area is HUGE! I had my son at 19 (pregnant at 18), and even though I don't have any regrets, I still miss all the things I didn't get to do. I wanted to be an adult so bad, that I didn't take the time to just have fun, and enjoy my life first. Wait until you're done with college, married, and have accomplished all of the goals you have in mind. Once you have a baby, there's no going back. Take advantage of your youth.
2006-10-04 15:07:01 · answer #5 · answered by Caelan's mom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
17 is too young!!!
yes, maybe you would be great parents, but you need to at LEAST graduate high school first, my gosh.
and FYI, a year and a half is not long at all to be with someone. why dont you graduate, get married, wait at least a year, then have a baby if you still want to.
2006-10-04 14:58:34 · answer #6 · answered by TN girl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should have a talk to your fiance and let him know that you think that you are ready to have his child and that you really want to know how he feels on your descion because the way he feels about this is really important. You should just speak from your heart i mean that's the best way to let a person know how you feel and how you want to live. But i really think that you are mature from what i have read from your question because you are trying to get pregnant without his knowing and i think that you are very smart and wise of your descion. Yeah youre young but hey No knows how you feel and know one but you and your fiance know how it is between you two. Be strong and just let him know how you feel. But good luck and best wishes!
2006-10-04 15:20:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get married first. Go to school, have some fun. You've got plenty of time to have children. Most teenagers want a baby so they can have unconditional love from someone...... think about it before you jump in. Seventeen is so very young to be having children, you are still a child yourself.
2006-10-04 14:54:12 · answer #8 · answered by AzOasis8 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok it is not up to anyone to tell you what to do, but i just had my son at the age of 22 and i still feal like i missed out on alot cause i had him so young all i can tell you is tell him you want to talk about it and then give him a few hours to think then sit down and talk about it that way he has time to realy think about what he wants.
2006-10-04 14:49:56 · answer #9 · answered by bebebe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
live a little, then have a baby, 17 in this day and age is a little young
2006-10-04 14:52:39 · answer #10 · answered by Hafeman 5000 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋