My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. Recently I have brought up the topic of having kids, and marriage, because it is really something that we have ever talked about seriously. I was not implying that I want this to happen now, or soon, but I was just wanting to know if this is a possibility somewhere in our future. So he says that he DOES NOT KNOW if he ever wants to get married, or have kids. This puts me in a bad position because he is undecided, which is not a no. I definitely want to get married and have kids. I don't know if I should stay with him, and risk living a live without marriage and kids, or try to find someone else. Besides this issue, everything is perfect, so it seems un-imaginable to walk away from an almost perfect relationship. But at the same time, marriage and kids is a HUGE thing. I don't know what to do??
2006-10-04 07:17:52 · 13 answers · asked by victoriamill002 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
been together for three years and he is not sure if he EVER wants to get married or have kids? leave and find someone who wants the same as you do. i am getting a divorce because after i got married he decided he didn't want kids after having this conversation. having kids is very important to me and if he would have just admitted he didn't before we got married i wouldn't be going through this now. don't waste time for him to maybe changing his mind.
2006-10-04 07:29:39 · answer #1 · answered by sweet serinity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If after 3 years he doesn't know whether or not he wants to get married and have kids then he hasn't thought about it and probably isn't going to. If you want marriage and children then tell him and be clear about your goals and time frame for it. If he doesn't want the same things you do, best to move on now.
2006-10-04 07:40:48 · answer #2 · answered by OrianasMom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is NOT a "perfect" relationship when it requires you to compromise on a very important part of your life. If you're dead-set on having kids and family, I'd say you're wasting your time with this guy. At least he's honest with you, and does not "lead you on". I would NOT take such a huge risk by wasting more of my time with a person who's "undecided" after 3 years. Women don't have as much time as men, biologically speaking, to "decide"; I would move on before it's too late. This is too important of an item to gamble on.
2006-10-04 07:36:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but I think your wasting your time with this guy. He's says he doesn't know if he wants marriage or kids, that means, he never will. Best to move on with your life and find someone who wants the same things you do in life. Best of luck.
2006-10-04 07:27:00 · answer #4 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't even know then that's a bad sign. Men who want to get married usually let you know, and then act upon it. You have to either learn to compromise now knowing that he doesn't want to get married, or leave him because marriage is a big deal for you and you are aware of the fact that he has no intentions of popping the big question.
2006-10-04 07:45:02 · answer #5 · answered by the_memory_of_ashes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was always told if you are confused about something don't do anything rash til the answer becomes clear to you. If things are good now then let things be as they are for now if you are in no hurry to be married or have kids. People do change their minds in time and then again you may change your mind as well in time. Rome wasn't built in a day.
2006-10-04 07:28:07 · answer #6 · answered by Kimmie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Odds are it won't happen. If it does he may end up regretting being married and having kids. I knew within a couple of months that I wanted to marry my wife and start a family with her.
2006-10-04 07:27:14 · answer #7 · answered by St.Anger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say go... you both have different goals in life and if you would one day like to be married and with children and he doesn't feel that way then you are depriving yourself of what you really want in life. If things are meant to be... then it will work out between you two.
2006-10-04 07:28:28 · answer #8 · answered by smiley_140 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really want kids move on. You can never change a person and if he doesn't want what you want then find someone who does.
2006-10-04 07:34:58 · answer #9 · answered by Marcala T 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want marriage & children,then you should,consider seeing other people.If you can honestly live the way you are now forever,then stay.marriage & children should only be with someone ready for the eternal commitment.
2006-10-04 07:30:13 · answer #10 · answered by too_many_hatz 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋