Been together four years and he still lives with his ex, she also says they are not together and that he's there for the mortgage and kids. But im 5 months pregnant and so lonely he never stays over anymore and he never stays for longer than 2 hours at any one time. This morning I could smell perfume on his face.
2006-10-04 07:13:54 · 34 answers · asked by Lisa 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No he has never been married and he told me they had already split up before he met me!
2006-10-04 08:00:17 · update #1
hi, i just wanted to say i totally understand your problem. 13 years ago i was in the same position as you, but my boyfriend lived one of my best mates. i was 6 months pregnant with my son. all my friends and family said get rid off him, but i didn't. he let me down at the birth of my son by not turning up instead he took my friend on a night out. 6 months after my son was born he started to crawl back and we got married. in the 10 years we were married he cheated on me 3 times and now im divorced and he doesn't see my son either. i saw the light but it took me all this time. what a waste of my life, people told me he would never change and would always let me down and they were right. please don't waste your time doing the same thing. im so happy now i have my son who is happy too and we both know were we stand. my ex is still chasing younger girls and leaving them after 6 months so his life never changes. get rid of him and be happy with your baby its hard but you can hold your head high.
2006-10-04 07:54:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Poor baby! You need to ask yourself do you love him enough and are you strong enough to be the other woman for the rest of your life. I'm not going to say up and leave; when feelings are involved it's never that simple. But you need to realize that even if he's not with her, he is definitely with someone else. And I know the hormones from the pregnancy have to be making everything that much worse; I've been in a very similar situation. You need to decide what will be best for you and your baby. But I will tell you that you are in for a lot of heartache and many more lonely nights. You don't want to give him an ultimatum, unless you are definitely ready to lose him.
2006-10-04 07:30:10 · answer #2 · answered by HunnyB 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetheart, i think you are being playd by this guy. as long as you let him he'll walk all over you and as 4 him staying 4 the mortgage?? what is that. sounds like a sad excuse to me that this gut can't or wont make up his mind. I'll bet if you give him an ultimatum he'll say it's pressure and he doesn't need it on top of ... you know. i think you shoul;d ask yourself the $64, 000 question - can you and your baby to be live without him. you know the answer is yes you can! once you have moved on love and i mean real true love will come knocking on your door. Don't you deserve better? i do wish you all the best of luck as i suspect you'll need it x take care x
2006-10-04 07:35:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might be different if you weren't pregnant, as you'd only be risking getting yourself hurt. At the moment you're risking your child getting hurt too.
I think the best thing you could do is issue an ultimatum to him. He either comes to live with you and only sees her for things to do with the children, or you split.
If he doesn't take the option to be with you and your child, I know it will feel awful for you but you WILL get through it. You will be safe in the knowledge that he had the choice of being with you both but chose not to be. Therefore, you'll know you have done what is best for you and your child. Even if it doesn't feel like it at first.
Good luck
PS. No wonder you've got high blood pressure!
2006-10-04 07:24:26 · answer #4 · answered by lindsay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be strong and dump him NOW! Talking to him will not change the situation - you need to take action. You've got 4 months to focus on your life without him before the baby comes, and after that you won't have time to worry about him! He's a weak man and is just so not going to give you the support you need as a new mum, so focus on building a network of friends and family you can count on.
2006-10-04 07:22:10 · answer #5 · answered by Just_wondering 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi theres no easy way to say this but as long as he is not with you he seem to be with someone else and i think you shoudl get rid of him as hes doing to you wat he did to her. Its obvious you love him but i think you trust him a little too much and it has got to this stage. You should of got out of the relationship ages ago. Im sure if my boyfrined wouldnt be living with his ex, regardless of the mortgage and the kids. There are ways to get around these things. Im sure noone does this nowadays if they are in a loving relationship. If he doesnt stay over and goes to her at night its obvious what is going on. Just leave him and move on as you will only get hurt more.
2006-10-04 07:30:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun, you shoulda got outta that a long time ago! Sad to hear you're pregnant now. It seems like he doesn't want to leave his past behind him. Hasn't he heard of child support, that's how to be there for the mortgage and kids, and visit! Why does he need to live with her? That's just strange to me. I'm sorry I don't have much advice to give, but good luck!!
2006-10-04 07:19:09 · answer #7 · answered by StonerChick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to talk to him!
I doubt that ANY man would stay with his ex just for the mortgage
and his kids, and leave someone he loves and got pregnant alone.
Honestly, I think his ex is trying to lure him into going back with her, so watch out.
Ask him for an explanation, and tell that ex of his to start leaving him alone.
If he wants to see his kids, he can do that but not in living with his ex!!
2006-10-04 07:21:37 · answer #8 · answered by cass 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry sweetheart but isn't it obvious that he is still a part of that other life? Does he have any intention of moving in with you ever? If he has that little respect for you that he never even stays with you, you need to move on. I hope all works out for you and your baby.
2006-10-04 07:16:33 · answer #9 · answered by bellagirl1414 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry girl but wake up and smell the coffee - as they say.
He is a selfish bast--d, wants his cake and eat it.
He doesn't want to leave his wife. Seems to have both
of you on a string!! After 4 years if he wanted to make the
break he would have done so.
Move on and think about your baby. Life if too short to be
unhappy, tell him to get lost.
2006-10-04 07:20:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋