What should I do?

Question

I work in a bowling alley day care. On saturdays, my boss bowls on a league. She has 4 kids. A 3 yr old devil child (boy), a 5 yr old girl that can be as sweet as an angel, a 8 yr old boy who I'd like to strangle sometimes, and an 11 yr old boy who does absolutely nothing. Ever.

This past saturday, she only had Seth (the 3 yr old) and Faith (the 5 yr old). Not only did she clock in when she was going to bowl, but she tried taking the big screen down to her lane so she could watch the football game. So it's just my sister and I with her 2 kids and about 5 others. The other 5 are doing just fine. Her (keep in mind, he hasn't even been 3 for a whole month yet) 3 yr old comes up to me and spits in my face. Then he decided he was going to bite me. Right on the crotch. So now I have a 50 cent piece size bruise on my crotch...and when I say crotch, he got my cl*t and everything. So I picked him up and put him in a high chair. He gets out somehow.

I went to go pick him up to put him back in it and he kicks me right in the boob! Then he decides to yell "F*ck off, stupid face!" at me. I seriously left the room and went to go tell my manager what was going on because I had tried calling Julie (my boss) down to come and get him and she just kept saying "Keep in mind that he just turned 3 2 weeks ago. He's still going through that phase. You'll be fine." I was so seriously about to just quit. Well, I went back into the room, and what do ya know...that little bastard has a friggin chair in his hands and was going to throw it at me! He missed me, but still.

So I called my boss one more time. She finally came down there. It was about 10:10 (pm). All the other kids had left around 10 til 9, which pissed me off because she was on the same league as them and I know that they had been done bowling for quite some time. She sat down there on her fat as* and was yapping her jaws while I had to deal with her devil child. On her way down, she stopped at the front desk and told my manager that since I couldn't handle one 3 yr old by myself that she was going to have to find somebody that could....
I guess you'd have to actually hear it from me to get the whole story, because there's just far too much to type. We found out that night that she's been stealing from the company for the past 8 yrs, and there's really nothing that I can do about it until someone else finally feels that they've had enough and decides to stick up for themselves as well. I have a meeting with the owner today to tell him everything that I know.

About a month ago, we had a kid come in that was being sexually abused, and he didn't want us to do sh*t about it, so I can only hope that he'll do something about her.

And she wonders why she's lost 5 people in the past 2 months. And to top it all, my sister got transfered to the front desk last night, so I'm in this all alone now.....

So - WHAT THE HELL DO I DO?!

Answer 1

Wow, okay. I don't know ( obviously) what the policies are at the bowling alley but I have a feeling that your boss is not allowed to clock in,l dump her kids on you, and go bowl. I would quit but the fact that you are putting up with the mess implies that you need this job. Keep in mind, that she may let you go anyways to avoid big trouble, but I would say it's worth the risk. Most daycares have policies about children who bite repetedly. If her children are the wild then she should not be allowed to bring them. They could hurt another child and that would cause major problems. I'm not saying it's okay that he hurt you but you understand why if he did it to another kid it would be worse. If she's steeling I don't understand how she's still there. Thats a good thing about steeling, there's always a paper trail to find. I've worked in Daycares, no child is ever naturally like that, just becsue he "just turned 3" does not excuse him being a monster. That screams bad parenting to me. I wish I could help you more but I don't know the specifics of your situation. Good Luck!!!!

Answer 2

wow - i hope venting helped you a bit.
the situation is this: it doesn't matter what your boss or anyone else does after they leave the kids in your care. Your job is to watch over the kids until they're good and ready to pick them up. Whether the parents are stealing, cheating or bowling a great game, it doesn't have anything to do with your situation.
your problem - a devil kid who punches, spits and makes his head spin. actually that's just part of the problem. what you have to understand is this day care room is YOUR room. Your room, your rules. You da boss. This kid obviously is challenging your authority. How do you get him to behave?
Give the kid a choice - either you do this or that will happen. Either you put down the chair, or you get 10 minute time out.
When you spit, you don't get to play with the fire truck.
Don't feel powerless. There HAS to be things that you can do for him that you can exchange for him behaving. Letting him watch a video tape. Play with a cool toy. Eat some candy. Reading a story.
Negotiate.
Many, many times, kids (especially boys) react violently because they aren't loved enough. I know it sounds counter-productive but it's a defense mechanism. They make themselves unlikeable so they don't have to worry about being rejected. Because rejection hurts their self esteem.
When he misbehaves NEVER physically manipulate him. Use the no touch rule. I don't touch. You don't touch. You should be able to have him under voice command.
Or use the fair-is-fair rule. You spit at me. I spit at you. You punch me. I'll punch back. (Though this would probably get you into trouble.)
You must separate the problem you have with his parents and the problems you have with the kids. Kids at 3 start to see that they don't have to follow rules. You must show him that there are consequences to breaking those rules.
What I'm asking you to do requires a lot of patience and it is crucial that you are consistant. Whenever he spits, he must get the same punishment. I would even "march" him up to his mom again, don't touch) and have him tell his mom that he spit at you and have him tell her why. (That only works if he's scared of his mom and his mom might beat the ever-loving-sh*t out of him if she's embarrassed in front of her friends.)
Again - kids take time and patience. If you're finding that you don't like dealing with the difficult ones, then maybe you shouldn't be in the day care career. There will ALWAYS be bad kids in every bunch. Good day care workers know how to deal with these. Ask your work to send you to a seminar to get you trained.
Oh, one last tip - be sure to praise him when he does something you approve. Have a "treat time" for good kids or pass out a fruit roll up spontaneously when you see a child behaving the way you want them to. Bad kids catch on fast and will begin mirroring the good kids to get a treat.
hope this helps.

Answer 3

Wow a bunch of retarded point grabbers. I'd almost consider reporting them as you aren't supposed to being answering just for points. Now to the problem at hand. I'd proably quit if I was you. I mean it is clear where the kid learns this behavior. Look no farther then the mother who EXECUSES it plus acts as bad. You don't say it's a phase, YOU PUNISH THEM. That would get the kid out of that "phase" real quick. She proably didn't punish the kid at any point as to why it is acting like that and don't give me that crap about oh it is 3. That doesn't give him the right to behave like that without punishment and if the mother WON'T punish the kid I would proably quit. After all these days you wouldn't be allowed to punish the kid, let alone the trouble you would get in for punishing your bosses kid when they see nothing wrong with the behaviour. I would proably consider showing her the bruise and tell her if she doesn't teach her kid to behave you are going to be resigning. Even if the kid had some hitting or biting phase, and once again that is a parent that won't stop it and teach the kid to behave, there is no excuse for the kid to bite there.

Answer 4

First off you are a very strong person keep it up! With the meeting that you are about to have you need to see if there is some way that there can be a list of rules and regulations that the parents have to sign before they leave their child at the daycare. If their child continuously breaks the rules they can't come back after the 3rd strike. No child should act like that no matter what age! I have 3yr. old twins and discpline starts as soon as they can comprehend.

Answer 5

Turn her butt in. Her kids, let them run wild. Or call Supper Nanny. j/k No serious call super nanny or Nanny 911
No where in your job description said that you had to be abused by a 3 yr old.
Also if you need evidence, record everything that happens. Use it to your advantage.

Answer 6

you should not have to tolerate their behavior. you need to sit down with your boss and talk to her. explain that her children behavior is completely uncalled for. that you dont have any other behavior problems from the other children and that she needs to teach her children some manners. that you are their baby sitter but not their patrol officer. that if her children do not know how to behave around other people or even give you repsect, then she leaves you no choice that to find another job.
sometimes you need to put your foot down or she will continue to walk all over you beause it seems she is not respec you and its letting her kids take full advantage of that fact that you have not complained about it.

Answer 7

That is just insane, I would find another job no one needs to put up with that kind of crap. As for the kid that was being molested you could have called the police and reported it. GOOD LUCK

Answer 8

Well I did read all that. And honey personally I dont think that anyone should be treated as unfairly as you have been treated. I would try to find another job in your area and get the hell out of there.

Answer 9

Don't know what to do about the kids, but I do know that by clocking on while she's playing games she's committing fraud. Report her.

Answer 10

I think way too many people are "reported" happy.