So my husband who is not the father of my 25 yr old son is working in the garage. Our new neighbor comes over to say hi. I walk out to garage and husband says "This is Mike..he went to school with David (my son)....He's 3 years younger than David and he's the one that bought the house across the street...How come DAVID hasn't bought a house???" I proceed to list off things like "Did you live @ home for free and save?...no....did your parents help you ?....no....Did the ppl that live with you NOW help out?...no Then husband says....He's a tile setter. I looked at him, called him an ***, and responded with "If you knew the answer to the question...then why ask and why have me sit here and go through a list of my opionions on how this man was able to buy a house but my son isn't able to, IN FRONT of this guy...embarassing myself only to give the answer yourself? My son works full time but only makes $17hr...this guy makes $40......
We are not happy married. What was his intention?
2006-10-04 07:04:03 · 15 answers · asked by Mom of 7 gramma of 3 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
His intention was to get across the point that he thinks your son should be on his own at this point.
I don't think either of you should have been talking like this in front of the new neighbor -- he doesn't need to hear or be the focus of your issues about this.
2006-10-04 07:08:06 · answer #1 · answered by stimply 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honestly,
As I reviewed this story, I can honestly say, and I hope not to offend you but this argument is not about how your son isn't able to buy a house, you have issues with your husband. The first thing you wrote is that your husband is not your son's father. Why is that an issue? It seems that you are throwing that out and I believe their might be an issue there. As for your neighbor buying a house, anybody can buy a house, the problem is paying for it. You seem to have a lot of issues with your husband, you need to analyze what you wrote here, and really give it a deep thought, cause it seem their are more deeper problems than just a simple argument, if you are not happy, which I don't think you are, you need to divorce, simple as that, there is not point in staying with someone who you are not happy with, you are just making each other miserable and that doesn't make sense..
2006-10-04 07:11:52 · answer #2 · answered by wickedwizdom 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
In my opinion his intention was to humiliate you and your son in front of this other man. I would suspect that the other guy had asked about David and your husband was belittling him. This is only speculation, but I know how guys think and talk out their (our) butts sometimes. He was probably trying to impress the new neighbor by kissing up to him on how well he is doing, and used your son as the example of those who didn't do as well.
No matter why he did what he did, it was humilating not only to you but to your son. A person is way more than what he does for a living or how much money he makes or how much he has. In the end relationships are all that matter. I know this because 6 month ago I was diagnosed with terminal cancer and was given 2 years to live. All of my priorities changed. Money means nothing now. Status means nothing now. What I have or own means nothing. Only my family and friends and my relationships with them count. The rest is, to quote a old song, "Dust In The Wind."
2006-10-04 07:16:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He's definitely irritated and insulting you in front of company was his way of attacking you about it. But your mistake was when he asked why David hasn't bought a house, you didn't say - "He just hasn't yet, he's got plenty of time." Then You turn around and walk out and end that conversation. Then in private inform him that if he has a problem with something then to bring it up when you are alone as to not humiliate you, your son, or make himself look like a fool.
Just remember - you don't have to answer everything asked of you and you make the choice whether you bite the bait or not. You don't have to defend or make excuses for anything. If he's left alone when he acts like that he'll eventually get the point and stop.
2006-10-04 07:26:36 · answer #4 · answered by Beth 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I honestly think you were wrg in getting into mike's bussiness. Just because he's younger than your son adn already bought a house doesn't mean that your son is doing something wrg w/ himself. It wasn't any of your business to ask Mike all those questions, so I think your husband told you what Mike does for you to stop saying the things you were saying. I'm 23 years old, and live w/ my parents still.. My cousin who's 24 (we're only 6 months apart) bought a house... Anyway, I feel you didn't have to ask those questions to Mike. It wasn't your place.
2006-10-04 07:10:14 · answer #5 · answered by qbanita0113 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Sounds like he resents your son in some way. He really had no right in comparing your son's situation with that of a stranger, as he really doesn't have this guy's whole history, does he. There could be dozens of reasons why he was able to buy this house. You say you aren't happily married. You need to get to the real reasons for his behaviour and for why you aren't happy with him. Good Luck.
2006-10-04 07:10:43 · answer #6 · answered by Pepper's Mommy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I believe that a parents responsibilty is to enable their offspring to be as independent as possible as soon as possible.
This sounds like a situation of 'tied to mother's apron strings'
If your son was independent, he would be earning far more, and would be able to buy his own house.
It is normal for a 25 year old to be able to look after himself.
You can help yourself, your husband, and your son by agreeing with your husband on this one.
2006-10-04 07:15:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is a time and place for that kind of sh*t! I think he was being completely rude and insensitive! I would be embarrassed too! It sounds to me his relationship w/your son is about equal w/yours and your hubby! My hubby and I have both worked full time since I can remember and we STILL don't own a home! It sounds like he needs to grow up! Good luck with that!
2006-10-04 07:19:40 · answer #8 · answered by liljewel 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yeah--this has nothing to do with your son and everything to do with your marriage. Maybe your son sees how you and your husband interact and he doesn't want to leave his mother.
Now as far as what your husband's intention was, it sounds to me like your husband is just a little jealous of you and your son's relationship. I hate to sound like Dear Abby, but you may want to think about marriage counseling.
2006-10-04 07:19:36 · answer #9 · answered by Phoenix Rising 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
my guess is that he wants your son to take responsibility of his life. But as we all know our children need help from parents until parents are no longer here.
2006-10-04 08:18:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋