im 15 and a sophmore in high school and my friend paul says that if you havent figured out your sexuality by high school theres a problem. now up until the end of my freshman year, i was always straight. then i was bi. then i was gay. now i am either bi or straight. my friends are getting annoyed and say im just gay and in denial. but is that thing about not knowing before high school true?
2006-10-04 06:59:47 · 33 answers · asked by emo girl 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
It is kind of strange.
Most children develope both their social inclinations (hostile, meek, shy, type A, Type B) and sexual affinity by the age of 5.
Sexual affinity means who do you find desirable. Who do you want to be very close and intimate with. Same sex or opposite sex.
It has nothing to do with friendly or being pals.
It has to do with who you want to be close to. Who turns you on. Who do you want to play "I'll show you mine if you show me yours"
It is, however, somewhat common for adolescents to get into a state of excitement and confusion over the whole thing.
Girls, more than guys, tend to pair closely with one other girl, but if they find themselves going off after a select boy or two, it's an indication they are hetro inclinded.
If they are satisified with the paring with another girl, then it's an indication that homosexuality is confortable.
YOu have to ask yourself questions like, do you find girls breast attractive and want to explore them. Do you want to fondle girls and plesure them. Given a choice would you rather be fondled by a guy or a girl.
There is also the aversion factor, whose gentiles bother you the most, guys or girls.
Given a choice of looking at one or another do you chose girls, guys or niether.
Neither can be an indication of some fears in sexuality.
Maybe the fear of being invaded. Maybe the fear of being made preganant.
It could be an inclination more to asexuality.
You ahve to look at the indicators and see where the chips fall.
No one says you have to pick one or the other.
I know I was interested in Girls since age 4 or 5.
I know girls who were interested in girls since age 5 or 6 and felt romanticially inclined over their female teachers in 1st grade.
I know guys who were interested in guys since age 5 or 6.
So, you do tend to pick.
Is it possible you picked both and didn't realize it?
Did you have Barbie and Ken dolls or jsut Barbie?
Did you make them kiss each other?
Did you play with doll babies and have a carriage and feed them with bottles.
Your child hood factors will give you some idea of where on the spectrum of things you were incling towards.
2006-10-04 07:12:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Kids don't know everything, you know that much already.
Not knowing your sexuality by high school is not a sign of anykind of problem, it just means you are emotionally developing at your own rate. There's nothing wrong with that.
I knew, but couldn't accept my sexuality until I was in my mid-twenties!
Don't worry about what they all say. You're just you. It's all you can be and all you can expect yourself to be. Don't let them tell you who you are, because that's just them forcing you to be what they WANT you to be, not what you are.
WOW, 15 and these are the pressures you're facing?
Dang, at 15 my biggest issue was just kissing...leave all else, I just couldn't handle that.
By fifteen I couldn't tell you what my favorite color was let alone my sexuality.
At fifteen, I no more knew what color the sky would be the next day, than I did my sexuality.
Tell your friends to back off, just ignore them if possible. You don't need to force yourself to be what they want.
Also, I happen to agree with TabH on this one bit....don't go ANNOUNCING your sexuality all the time...that will get you a reputation as a wacko and it will just piss your friends off.
Just tell them you're undecided and let it be. Worry more about school work and leave the sex stuff 'til later.
2006-10-04 07:07:47 · answer #2 · answered by DEATH 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Even full blown straight 15 year olds are confused at that age! You have plenty of time to define your sexuality. Now, remember that if you label yourself as something like "bi" or "gay" or "straight" that's how people will label you. So just give yourself time and don't let others put presure on you to make a desition because it's your life, not theirs.
2006-10-04 07:10:38 · answer #3 · answered by brooke 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, you should chose what feels right for you, you can't be both bi and straight at the same time. If you have feelings for both sexes then you are bi, no turning back...bi. If you only have feelings for men you are straight and if you have feelings for women only then you are a les.
You are in highschool a time when hormones do crazy things to your body, just don't act on any of your urges in a sexual way, trust me you WILL regret it when you become an adult.
Good Luck
2006-10-04 07:03:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Honey, I didn't figure it out until I was in my 30's AFTER a decade of being in a marriage AND after having a fling in college with a girl. So no...there's nothing wierd about. Some people just don't see the light until later in life.
2006-10-04 08:40:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can decide who and what you are in all matters, not just sexuality! Look inside yourself honestly and that's were the answers that mean the most shall be surrounded in truth and peace of mind. The question that is are you willing to own those answers?
Secretes said "It is not the opinion of the majority that maters most. But the one who truly knows." And the only one who truly knows who and what you are is you! Forever and Always.
2006-10-04 07:42:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't listen until them. Sexuality is a process not a label. You can change many times throughout your life. That's why the Kinsey scale is a sliding scale. You can be whatever you want to be in the realm of sexuality and your friends should understand.
2006-10-04 07:11:27 · answer #7 · answered by linkbaseball 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think so. Lets face it there is a LOT of living to do after HS and you have not experienced much of your life, plus in those years you are really controlled by other people and not making your own decisions.
If you keep annoucing your sexuality I would also find that annoying.
2006-10-04 07:06:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would say that it is possible that you are unsure. But if you like it with both sexes than I would say you are bi. You can be bi and be with someone in a straight relationship.
2006-10-04 07:06:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
High Schoolers are way too hung up on identity and whats cool. This is why the goth, mod, stoner, jock, nerd, rocker, etc etc etc comes from.
Trus me girl, once you enter the real world this all becomes meaningless.
What you are right now is a kid...enjoy it and forget the crap tv and society is telling you to confuse you and overwhelm you with sexual issues.
2006-10-04 07:07:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋