My brother died in a car crash one year ago. I've had counselling, I've tried to recognize the stages of grief... I've allowed time for healing... I just can't get out of the habit of imagining him alive... When does this become not normal? Is it too soon? Is it normal if I CHOOSE to do this instead of remembering everyday that he went through a windshield? I know he is dead. I just want to heal softer...The reality is so harsh it makes me colapse in sorrow.
2006-10-04 06:45:02 · 12 answers · asked by Deactivate account 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I want to make a distinction: are you remembering when he was alive, or are you imagining that he is alive? By all means, remember, and dwell, on the good things in your memories. However, it might be unhealthy to imagine, consistently, that he is alive; doing so risks you becoming dependent upon your imaginary world, to the point where you start to believe that you maybe can't handle the real world at all. It will make it harder for you to get through the grief process. Collapse in sorrow, again and again, as many times as you need to; you are allowed to feel sad.
2006-10-04 06:57:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong by imagining he's still alive yes this is normal you just lost a very important man in your life your brother, the one who's been there since birth, the first man you ever came in contact with besides your father, anything is better than thinking about him dying in that crash.. Time is the only way to heal pain and as time passes your heart will heal not completely but enough to know that he's ok in heaven.. I'm so sorry for your lost i know how horrible you must feel, and i just want you to know that he is in a better place and he doesn't want to see you suffer like this, Start a scrap book and put together all your favorite memories of him and when you feel upset take a look at all the fun times you had with, don't think of the bad think of the good i hope you feel better
2006-10-04 06:53:53 · answer #2 · answered by ~*Megan N MaRc~* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is totally normal. My dad died 10 years ago from Leukemia. I was 14. You are use to him being alive so it can be hard to make changes. There is no exact time for you to stop grieving, its just when you are ready. Its been 10 years and its still hard to believe that my dad is gone, I keep thinking that he should be at work right now. I try not to remember the day he died, only the good memories. Its all probably sad for you now, but over time the good memories ( like from when you were little) will be the ones that are comforting and will help you move on more easily.
2006-10-04 06:55:14 · answer #3 · answered by Surfbaby17 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't think it is abnormal if it does not interfere in your daily life - unless you were going to his old house to visit him instead of going to work.
I would assume that a year is still not that long a time. When my Dad died, I was in a fog for quite a while - months, on and off. Holidays were tough for years afterward.
Good luck. Sounds like you are getting the help you need. But time will heal.
2006-10-04 06:48:58 · answer #4 · answered by American citizen and taxpayer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry about your sorrow.
I believe in angels and I believe in life after death....But one thing, by being miserable you are sure not helping your brother who is suffering by seing you like this. Pray for him (that's the best solution) and remember he's happier where he is than on earth..The only thing that could make him sad is watching you falling apart......
put a smile on your face and try to imagine him happy for who you are, for the great and strong person you are.
Pray for him
courage.....you are not alone.
2006-10-04 06:50:07 · answer #5 · answered by Valerie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry about the death of your brother. There is nothing wrong about remembering your brother and the good times that you shared with him. As long as you realize that he is gone then I think that it is normal. Good Luck!
2006-10-04 06:49:53 · answer #6 · answered by Michelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey you will think of him all of your life and maybe even some times believe he is still here all any one can do it just try to remember him how he was ,honey your brother would not want you to grieve your self to death I am sure he would want you to live and be happy
2006-10-04 06:50:57 · answer #7 · answered by just_me_1955 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry for your brother.
It is normal to have such thoughts.
It is only a year so you have this feeling.
I appreciate such persons.
Time will heal all wounds.
Mental or Physical.
2006-10-04 06:51:30 · answer #8 · answered by SKG R 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for what happen dear...pls accept my condolences. well thats natural dear. i think its better than thinking he die atleast on your mind his still alive right? just like when my grandmother die shes always on my dream talking to me and in my dream she look so alive. anyways let just pray for their soul to rest in peace....
2006-10-04 06:53:31 · answer #9 · answered by angel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is so ok your fine start a scrap book and remember your bro with pics and also keep some of his things close to you and p.s its ok to rememer him like he is aliive
2006-10-04 06:55:05 · answer #10 · answered by mary c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋