i'm not sure if this age gap can work or not. I mean we love eachother, but we're at different crossroads in life. I already have kids and we live 60 miles from one another. He's just finishing Jr. College and will be going to University in the next year that again is far from me. We've been going out for 10 months, he doesn't drive because he has 2 DUI's, he's constantly broke because he only works part time and makes minimun wage. I'm finding it hard to see a future with him, but I love him and that complicates everything.
2006-10-04 06:25:03 · 31 answers · asked by andigirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
First issue - being a job - You cant hold this against him - He is going to school full time - obviously to get a better job therefore making more money - This is tough but stick with him. The DUI thing - Tell him to grow up it is not cool to drink and drive anymore (Not that it ever was).
age: - Well if he doesn't see it as a problem why should you - Lots of guys like older women - I think it has something to do with experience and technique. I think you are the one with the age issue - and you know what it is not a big deal anymore - I am sure most of your friends are nodding their head to you - Live it up girlfriend True love only comes once a life time. and if it is not meant to be there will be plenty of time and better reason's to break it off. I say all power to you - Live it and Love it. And good luck
2006-10-04 06:36:37 · answer #1 · answered by Dawn B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...I used to be in a similar situation, dating a guy I had very strong feelings for that was 18 years my senior...so I can understand the love being there...as rare as that is to find someone so much older than you and to find a mutual affinity between you two...BUT! I wonder if he can relate to you because he is obviously not the in the most mature situation he should be in at his age...maybe he has a problem with growing up, and you remind him of the youth he is fighting so hard to keep..i mean come on...38 and minimum wage? n to make it worse...ONLY PART TIME??!! conversely you have more responsibilites than maybe the average 23 year old, which is why you may have wanted to keep this relationship working---his age and potential maturity level may appeal to you...I mean, im 23, and I don't have kids...and if I did...I may also have looked for a guy older than me who is able to understand my situation...the only thing is what you represent and what he represent...contradicts each other...
Point blank it has nothing to do with the age that is gonna stop this relationship from working, it's exactly what you mentioned...the different crossroads you guys are at....
I hope i was clear...*smile
2006-10-04 13:35:32 · answer #2 · answered by me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a tough situation. You are already at an age where you are in life, youve been working, you are matured. He on the other hand, especially with being in college, is still maturing and needs time to figure out his path to life.
It seems like he doesnt have his priorities straight, not to sound rude. But he has 2 DUIs, only works part time...does he know what he wants to do with life or where he's heading?
I understand that you love him very much...but is this what you want to deal with for the rest of your life? It will be like raising a teenage boy almost for the next few years maybe more.
Take a nice hard look at your situation and lay out the pros and cons. I wish you all the best!
2006-10-04 13:28:46 · answer #3 · answered by Mabry M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you're NOT a loser. When love is good, it's harder to let go. My first boyfriend was almost the same way. Never worked, lived from place to place, loved his alcohol, borrowed money from other people, mooched off of me, etc....If I had put that ALL aside, and looked at how well we got along, I would have stayed with him forever. Our love was strong. But sometimes, you REALLY need to think seriously about your future and ask yourself if this is what you really want. Sometimes you think they'll change, but 10 yrs later, I hear that my ex is STILL borrowing money etc. and he's married too....but she's the provider for him AND her own kids and they live in a trailer park. (they're about 10yrs apart too, her being older) If you're finding it hard to let go, just try to picture yourself 10 yrs from now. It seems like you're a mother figure to him, more than a girlfriend. Break ups are always hard but we all get over them, not 100% but we do. Just be careful because it sounds like you'll be the provider for the rest of your lives if you stay with him. sorry. Best of luck.
2006-10-04 13:38:30 · answer #4 · answered by hellomyfriend 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From experience, it won't work if there is 60 miles apart between you 2, you have kids already (does he eventually want some of his own?) and to top it off the cross-roads in your life...I'm 34 I've been there, done that, have the T-shirt and I'm sure you have too and in order for him to understand you he has to go through that too. He hasn't he is broke all the time and I bet he goes out on week-ends with his friends and wants to drink and act a fool still. Life with kids doesn't work that way. Kids before any man!
2006-10-04 13:46:44 · answer #5 · answered by Happy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im am kind of in the same boat that you are in buat my boyfriend is 23 and i am 16! I first met him when i was 14!! And we have been together ever since! He has 2 kids and i have none!! Things do tend to get a little rocky because things that he sees as childish i dont but its like i had to think to myself am i ready to be with someone that has a little more experience than i do!! And i said yes!! I mean I am young but there is no doubt in my mind that i dont love him I cant say how long we will be together and i can't change the fact that he already has kids but i rather be happy than sorry and being with him makes me happy! So dont let it go yet!! Wait it out you love him there could be glory at the end of your story! GOOD LUCK!!!
2006-10-04 13:33:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to look at the whole picture. What is best for you and him both. This could work but it would be hard. Like you said you guys are at two different points in life. Are you willing to put forth the effort it will take to make this work? I am not so sure I would be. Either way you decide good luck.
2006-10-04 13:27:44 · answer #7 · answered by Jewells 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear You are so in love. He's lucky to have a part time job.He's also always broke cause he's got 2 D.U.I.s He lives 60 miles from you, and probably has raging hormones @ 23. You can do better. Tend 2 your kids and quit babysitting your lover
2006-10-04 13:38:54 · answer #8 · answered by carmella.2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look here girl if he is broke all the time and can't drive. how will he be able to support you in the future and your future children. I say you leave him. he is no good he should find a good paying job so he can support you. If he doesn't change now he will never change some men just have the mentally to be bums for the rest of there lives.
2006-10-04 13:29:35 · answer #9 · answered by Ambegurl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Enjoy the sex while you can, because unless he straightens-up, that's all you'll really have.
It must be pretty nice to have a hot young 23-year old to play with. Love is a wonderful thing, but sometimes it can blind you to the things you need to do. You're aware of his record, you yourself have said you see no future for the relationship.
Watch HOW STELLA GOT HER GROOVE BACK. She has a similar situation. Maybe you'll glean some insights. Good luck!
2006-10-04 13:32:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋