Looking for witty email to send friends who constantly send me annoying chain-letter emails?

Question

I hate it when friends/family members send me those page-long emails like, "Happy Angel...send to 10 people..." Does anyone know any witty emails I can send in return so that they will get the hint that these emails are annoying?

I know my other alternative is to tell them, but I really would like to find a witty anti-chain-letter email if anyone knows of any.

Answer 1

Try being honest and direct and appreciate the fact that they think of you at all.

Answer 2

Here's what I do. Instead of sending them back a "funny forward" that somebody else wrote, I take the time to do what they should have and send them a personal letter. I'll generally discuss the topic of whatever forward they sent me (jesus loves you, pray and send this to 5 people or he won't anymore; this is an email petition to hugo chavez to stop the atrocities in his country; etc...) and discuss the valid and invalid points of the issue. For example, email petitions aren't worth the electrons their sent on. If you'd like to feel as though you're changing the world, you'll need to participate more actively than checking your inbox and forwarding crap on.

I find that taking the time to respond politely and personally, to something that was sent impersonally, will generally get the message through without having to be confrontational.

Answer 3

Dear ,

You may be as surprised as I was to learn that chain-email messages (such as the one you just forwarded to me) are frowned upon by the Internet Engineering Task Force (IETF) the people who maintain the standards that make email possible.

In 1995, the IETF published a set of "Netiquette Guidelines" [1] and section 2.1.1 states: "Never send chain letters via electronic mail. Chain letters are forbidden on the Internet. Your network privileges will be revoked. Notify your local system administrator if your ever receive one."

Out of respect for our fellow citizens I shall not be forwarding your message and will, as a precautionary measure, inform my system administrator about it's content so that any further copies can be removed systemwide.

I'm sure neither of us want to be responsible for clogging up the net with pointless junk!

Regards


--
[1] RFC1885 - http://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc1855

Answer 4

I go to snopes.com or hoax busters and find the a report about it being some hoax. Then I reply with the address to the report. If it is just some cute thing like a kid sitting with a dog and it is suppose to make you smile, SMILE. If you really hate it then you can make up your own hoax report and forward it to them saying that the email has a virus and that is why it says send to 10 friends. I delete any email that says to pass it on.

Answer 5

Send them an anti-chain letter. Example at
http://www.perry.com/bizarre/antichn.html

Also, forward them to this address:
http://www.kith.org/logos/things/noforward.html

It explains why chain letters should not be forwarded.

Answer 6

I love u too but chain letters are inconsiderate of you.
I wish you well but if you send me another i'll ring your bell.
I have in store every George Bush speech so don't put me in heat or I'll send George to you in repeats.

Answer 7

send back 50 copies of the same one.

Answer 8

Did you try blocking their e-mails? for a while, so when they tell you that their e-mails are being returned, tell them why.

Answer 9

Hello, my name is Alfonso Merkin. I am suffering from rare and
deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, lack of sexual
activity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal
electrocution, and guilt for not sending out 50 billion *******
forwards sent to me by people who actually believe that if you
send them, that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with lung cancer
brought on by second-hand smoke from the cigarettes smoked by the
big bad men who kidnapped her and took pornographic pictures of
her for use on their child pornography web site will get 6 *******
cents every time you send me the letter. Do you honestly believe
that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send "his"
email to $1000?

How ******* stupid are you? Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down
this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every Victoria's Secret
model in the catalog! What a bunch of bullshit. So basically,
this message is a big **** YOU to all the people out there who have
nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards.
Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment
and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was
started by Jesus in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by midget
pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll
be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak
of blatant stupidity.

**** them. If you're going to forward something, at least send
something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your
closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will
somehow receive a nickel from some "omniscient being" forwards about
90 times. I don't ******* care. Show a little intelligence and think
about what you're actually contributing to by sending out forwards.
Chances are it's your own unpopularity.

P.S. Please forward this to at least 50 of your best friends!


----- End NetScrap(TM) -----


Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as many sad pricks with nothing better to do.


So this is how it works... Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:


*Bizarre Horror Story #1
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!!


*Bizarre Horror Story #2
Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend (hey, some people swing that way). They both died and went to hell and were cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for eternity.


This Could Happen To You Too!!! Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip. Just send this letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be okay.



................................

I was on my way to the post office to pick up my case of free M&M's, (sent to me because I forwarded their e-mail to five other people, celebrating the fact that the year 2000 is "MM" in Roman numerals), when I ran into a friend whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken - which is predictable, since as everyone knows, there's no actual chicken in Kentucky Fried Chicken, which is why the government made them change their name to KFC. Anyway, one day this guy went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all over and when he got out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN. He saw a note on his mirror that said "Call 911!" but he was afraid to use his phone because it was connected to his computer, and there was a virus on his computer that would destroy his hard drive if he opened e-mail entitled "Join the crew!" He knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer programmer who was working on software to prevent a global disaster in which all the computers get together and distribute the $250 Neiman-Marcus cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates. (It's true - I read it all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me a free Disney World vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the e-mail to everyone I know.) The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his missing kidneys, but a voice on the line first asked him to press #90, which unwittingly gave the bandit full access to the phone line at the guy's expense. Then reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed with an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped around a note that said, "Welcome to the world of AIDS." Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital - the one where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and the American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he receives. I sent him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of x's and o's in the shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to more than 10 people, you will have good luck but for 10 people you will only have OK luck and if you send it to fewer than 10 people you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS). So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on the way he noticed another car driving without its lights on. To be helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as part of a gang initiation.

Send THIS to all the friends who send you their junk mail and you will receive 4 green M&Ms, but if you don't the owner of Proctor and Gamble will report you to his Satanist friends and you will have more bad luck: you will get cancer from the Sodium Laureth Sulfate in your shampoo, your wife will develop breast cancer from using the antiperspirant which clogs the pores under your arms, and the government will put a tax on your e-mails forever. I know this is all true 'cause I read it on the Internet.


....................................

Hello, my name is Kathy. I suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50 billion ******* chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a traveling freak show.

Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone to whom you send "his" email, $1000? How stupid are we?

"Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every good looking model in the magazine!" What a bunch of bullshit.

Basically, this message is a big **** YOU to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain that was started by Peter in 5 AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower. **** them.

If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 10 of your closest friends and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times. I don't ******* care.

Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's your own unpopularity.

The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.

If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this email.

Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.

Yeah... right!