i know my husband as cheated on me,more than once,he dos`nt know i have found out.it hurts but i want him to think he is so clever.i have had enough now,i want him to hurt as much as he has hurt me,then i can walk away and leave him with the opened mouth
2006-10-04 06:13:28 · 52 answers · asked by tali_kia 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We all think about revenge against someone some time in our life. Divorce and troubled relationships are probably high on the "revenge" chart whether it's wanting revenge against a spouse who has caused us pain or revenge against a third party who has interfered in our relation. Because revenge is a part of the anger process, it can be helpful to think through harmless scenarios with the other person "getting theirs."
There is nothing wrong with thinking about revenge for a little while. But don't let it consume you. Don't become obsessed by revenge. Revenge can be ugly. It can take away your enjoyment of life. While you're being consumed with revenge, your life is standing still. Instead of exploring your options and moving on, you're wasting time. While you think about revenge, you remain emotionally tied to him or her.
If you want to walk away just do it. It will be the best revenge if you show him that you do not care about him at all. Take care of yourself.
2006-10-04 06:23:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best revenge is being smart. Do not be stupid by reacting on feelings of wanting to cheat because he did you this way. No, No, No! Start doing things for you get active and focus on what you can do to better yourself by taking up new interest or hobbies. The most important thing is to move money. Check on your household assets and put everything in your name or your children if you have them. You see men are turned on by mystery. He is going to wonder what in the heck are you doing with yourself lately. Do not be an idiot and let him know your financial plans. Always tell him you are busy and you do not have time to talk. You are going to be so absorbed and into yourself, you will be strong enough to leave him or resolve your marriage. The sweetish revenge is hitting him where it hurts the most and that is the pocket. Play it smart and do not cheat! Good Luck!
2006-10-04 06:37:43 · answer #2 · answered by Still_21_nheart 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
E-Z! you don't
If you know he cheated and you haven't said anything, you are just as wrong. You are lying to yourself as he lies to you! You can't ever hurt someone like you think you wan to. Please be human--being angry is OK and normal. But you trying to get revenge on him still leaves a hole in you. You are letting this control your emotions, which prevents you from thinking clearly and rationally. His wrong doings have found him out. I would set it up and confront the whole matter. It's easy to walk away, that's what cowards do. Be a woman--he is your husband, he belongs to YOU. Let him know how you feel in every degree, every emotion. You trusted him and this is what you get. God will have all of the vengeance! Let Him repay, because none of us are perfect and you can't cast judgement. No sin is greater than the other. Either deal with it or don't, but do not seek revenge because what you do comes back to you-even if you are the victim. Because I'm sure you know right from wrong and being the more responsible one, take the higher road. Don't bow to ignorance, it only makes you look stupid.
2006-10-04 06:29:34 · answer #3 · answered by Doll eyez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know the hurt that you are feeling and I understand wanting to get revenge but I don't think that it will make you feel better. I dated this guy for a while and I found out after a year that he was married. He was separated from his wife at the time that we dated. When his wife decided to take him back, he completely ditched me...When I tried to call him he acted as if I was stalking him. I didn't understand what was up until I found out he was back with his wife. I was so hurt and I wanted his wife to know that he had been with me. I told her all about us and his life is now a living hell. However, I am still so hurt and sad so it didn't help. All I did was stoop to his level. This best thing you can do is leave him and never look back. I no it is hard but if you react he will take advantage of it.Time will heal your heart not revenge...
2006-10-04 06:22:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, leave the revenge alone. Life will take care of that. Plus, being happy is often the best revenge. I do have a quesiton though. What part did you play in this if any? Be honest with yourself about yourself and how you have acted toward him. How much if any have you contributed to what has happened. If none then great. But if so, you dont have a right to revenge for things you help to create.
2006-10-04 06:19:23 · answer #5 · answered by Mr. JW 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't solve this matter with revenge; revenge only shows your weakness and shows that you are'nt any more mature than he is! I've been in your situation and was married to this cheating husband for 9 years and YES, the thought of getting even was tempting but the way I handled this situation was by waiting until he left ( On one of his adventures) And packed my belongings leaving behind only a note about how I knew where he was going and The cheating I was aware of and how selfish I thought he was by not being man enough to tell me! This was by far the best solution, because not only did I gain more respect for myself, but also got great pleasure out of watching my cheating man beg for my return home! That never happened! Now all I can say is, "Life's Great!" Good Luck!
2006-10-04 06:39:38 · answer #6 · answered by shelly_mo67 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to get revenge is to move on, show him theres more to you. I don't think that revenge is the answer you end up feeling good for a short time and may deeply regret it later. Do you want to end up feeling worst than you already do now? Somehow I don't think so, by walking away with your head held high and getting on with your life is the best way. Yes you'll fell bad for a while but time will help you get over it eventually.
2006-10-04 06:33:11 · answer #7 · answered by kildarababe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you want him to hurt like you do, but revenge is not the right way to go about it. if I were in your shoes, I would wait for him to go to work and I'd call all my friends to come over and clean out the house. I'd take everything but the bed he cheated on you in and leave a note written in lipstick on the mirror....you'll know what is appropriate.
After you've left him find someone new and either have a fullfilling fling, or better yet, find a new guy to make him realize what a dork he was for letting you go.
Sorry for you're pain, but two wrongs don't make a right :)
2006-10-04 06:19:35 · answer #8 · answered by brookebjpl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to get revenge is to act like you dont care. Revenge will only show him that it got to you. Leave now - with your head held high. Dont waste any time feeling sorry for yourself. Be grateful you found out sooner rather than later and move on. Dont sink to his level. It will hurt him far more to know that you are over him and no longer interested in what he has to say. Good luck xxx
2006-10-04 06:19:07 · answer #9 · answered by sparkyy2k2001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband has cheated too and I would have left if not for the counselling we are having through the church. You ought to confront him, he may be ashamed enough to try and work things out. In any case, revenge is tempting because like all things that are tempting, it's bad for you. He will still walk away the winner and you will end up letting your bitterness rule you for the rest of your life.
Try this link and see if any of it helps, there is always hope
2006-10-05 01:58:47 · answer #10 · answered by good tree 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋