My space and messenger question. Do you consider this cheating?

Question

My husband has a myspace account and a yahoo account. I know his myspace password and I went to check out his profile today and he had a new message from a girl. He had deleted from his outbox what he had sent, but she replied to what he sent so I saw what he wrote. He siad he was going to meet her and got directions to her house and got her phone number. All this went on last night when I was sick in bed. I called him and he said he was just playing around and he never had plans to really meet her. He has done the same things with yahoo messanger. He has had girls call him and text message him. He even bought calling cards to call girls in other countries. What should I do? Beleive my husband and trust him that it is just playing around or leave him. i love him, but it is getting to be too much. He has promised to change before. I have made changes for him, but he just keeps doing this stuff.

Answer 1

I would consider it in bad taste at the very least if not actually cheating. Even If he is just playing around it could develop into a cheating situation if he is going to meet her somewhere. But, that said, Im not sure that I would give up yet, suggest counseling and have him follow through. Put the computer where you can montior his behavior (just like a kid) If he balks or complains ask him what he is so worried about if he is just playing around. His responses should tell you everything you need to know.

Answer 2

I also have a myspace account and i do have a boyfriend but i never made plans to meet other men and in your profile it should show the status of your relationship i mean if he mentions you on his page then these women know that he is married and they might just be playing around, but sweetie if he's wasting time on buying calling cards to talk to women out of this country then he's looking else where for love , there should never be a reason why he should be calling these women or making plans to meet them i say you should tell him to delete his account and let him know you don't appreciate him flirting with other women on the internet or the phone it seems like he trying to take his needs elsewhere.. why does he need meet up with other women if he has you he might be cheating sweetie don't leave him just yet do a little more research and make sure you have proof for your accusations

Answer 3

Yes, it's cheating. You're married to a guy who sees relationships as games. A gameplayer. That's not good. You're in a bad situation since even if he's doing this for boosting his ego, it won't last forever. He'll more than likely find new and exciting ways to boost his ego, and you don't want to be around when that happens. Decide first what you want. Do you want him to stop, or do you not care? If you want him to stop, be prepared for him to say no and know what your reaction to that will be. I say get out now. You are investing your youth into a relationship that has a low chance of survival. At the end, he will be able to easily pick up the pieces and find someone new. Never invest anything that you will miss, cannot get back or will have a low return on. Don't leave the relationship with less than what you entered it with.

Answer 4

First, define "cheating". Then, ask yourself if what you see your husband doing fits your definition. To me, the question to ask is not whether or not something is technically "cheating"; it is whether I am ok with a certain behavior and am willing to overlook and tolerate it in the long run. It doesn't seem to me that you are ok with the fact that your husband is "playing around" online; I would not be ok with it either. That he is compelled to do these things even after he's been caught numerous times tells me that this behavior is not likely to change in the future. Make peace with it, or consider getting out of this marriage. Doesn't matter if you call it "cheating" or not - what matters is the harmony in the relationship, and your peace of mind.

Answer 5

LOL! Fooling around whether it be through Cyber space or not, is still cheating.

How much do you have to lose of you walk away?
Retirement? 401K? Pension?
He is a Freaky, Sex Maniac...how many other ways has he done this you will never know...

You have your work cut out for you. Start making quiet plans to walk away and hit him with divorce papers when he least expects it.

Make sure you have all the legal paperwork ready. Go through Home paperwork, savings, checking accounts, insurance paperwork, joint credit accounts, retirement benefits that affect you..etc...BEFORE you tell him any more...
Trust me.....He is being sneaky in an immmoral way, you need to be sneaky in Cautious way girl.

Prepare, prepare, prepare!!!

Answer 6

If you love him, let him be who he really is....NOW, hang on one second before you go off on my answer. My answer has multiple parts. The second part of the answer is, "if you love yourself then be who YOU really are". Look at yourself in the mirror and ask, "am I someone who feels OK with her partner playing around like that". If the answer is NO, then tell him you love him and want him to be happy and if playing around like that makes him happy you want him to do it, but, at the same time, you also love yourself and you've discovered that you're not someone who's willing to be with a partner who does that. The third part of my answer is to suggest that if you go with parts 1 & 2 that you make SURE he understands that you are NOT giving him an ultimatum (DO NOT let yourself say "it's ME or THEM). Say instead, "I'm not trying to tell you what you can or can't do, that would just be silly of me. I'm just telling you something I have discovered about myself. I'm going to always choose NOT to stay with a partner, you or anyother guy I might be with, who is someone that plays around behind his partners back and feels he can't be honest and open about what he's doing.

There is a small but very powerful difference in laying it out that ways vs, saying "I caught your a** and if you don't stop that sh*t right now I'm leaving!". This second way of saying it will be taken as judgemental and controlling and no one likes to be judged or controlled. Telling him in the way I suggested in the beginning is all about you. You're not judging him or telling him what he can or can't do. You're just telling him what YOU can and can't do. He can then decide if he wants to quit doing that stuff and keeping hangin with you, but he can't "blame" you for "making" him stop. It will be his choice.

Good luck with this

Answer 7

he can be cheating but there is one way to find out either tell your friend to im or email him and see what he says or you go over someone's house and you do it if you have your friend do it tell them to save the messages..that is the only way and make sure he don't know them and then tell him to meet you at the place that you are at , at a certain time and date and then you will know the truth ....good luck and hope for the best and that is that he isn't cheating

Answer 8

You sound like you still really love him ?? I think too many people give up when the water raises, look at the answers thus far--- don't be that person. It is never to late (until Ur dead) to change this means u or him. there is something in the past and present that is causing this. go see somebody, talk with him more..
good luck-dont give up..

Answer 9

He is obviously looking for some excitement so give it to him, if he like s mystery or whatever. Discuss it with him what does he like. Don't change for him do it for you. If it's not what you believe or what you want and discussions with him lead nowhere. then you do it too go online and flirt and let him see how it feels. And if doesn't bother him then there is a problem.

Answer 10

You can keep saying what you want and I am sure you will make yourself think he is doing nothing..

HE IS CHEATING ON YOU.

Your his wife and for him to playing games is being a jerk. You need to tell him to stop and why. Don't settle for less. If he loves you he will stop. Games are for kids not husbands.