I have been with my boyfriend now for 2 years, but for some reason i am still....jealous i guess, of his ex-girlfriend. I dont find her to be attractive so its not that type of issue! But she is still very tightly bonded with the same social circle. Causing her to be around my boyfriend quite often. I trust my boyfriend because I know how he really feels about his ex now, but I cant stand him being around her! Now I was invited to a party with my man, but im super anxious because for one I will know maybe 2 people there, and two His ex will be there for sure! What do I do to get rid of this feeling? Or get rid of the source of the problem?
Please answer seriously....this is important to me!
2006-10-04 05:20:55 · 12 answers · asked by melissa 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Hmm...ask yourself do you really like this guy? Is he who you really want to be with? If so, talk to him, tell him it bothers you that his ex is still around, I can't blame you, I'd feel the same too!
To me.. ex's should be out of the picture unless you have children, other than that.. they should be out of the picture altogether, not a middle conflict, I mean.. how would he feel if it was your ex around all the time? It's a drag, but I'd talk to him about it, tell him how you feel about the situation. If he doesn't pick you over her, then obviously he's just not worth it, and if he doesn't agree to leave her out, like how he REALLY feels about his ex, then she'll be around still.. and the problem will still exist.
Ex's are like a pet peev with me, they shouldn't be around, and obviously it does bother someone they had a history together, and I wouldn't want them around after, there's no need for them to be around.
2006-10-04 05:27:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG i'm the same way. i've been dating my boyfriend for almost 3 years and I always obsess over his ex gfs. even if they only had a "thing". i think it's just a girl problem! there's a reason why they broke up and didn't get back together, though! and yeah, same with the friend group. but i've realized that they're as uninterested in him and he is in them, so you're probably fine :] People are over reacting. It's okay to do this. i mean, don't be jealous of them or anything and don't put yourself down because of them, but you definitely don't need mental help because of it...a lot of girls do it, it's fine.
2016-03-27 04:40:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I would say that it's normal for you to feel this way in a sense. Realisticly if you know that your boyfriend doesn't have any positive feelings towards his ex then you really shouldnt be worried. Maybe you just don't like her personally for some reason, I don't know.
What I would say to do is to go on with your life with your boyfriend because he is with you (obviously) and not with her, so she had nothing to do with yall's situation.
Bottom Line- Get over it and don't worry about here, becaue she isn't a threat.
2006-10-04 05:26:58 · answer #3 · answered by DLB 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I went through the same thing. His ex was his step sister,lol. She was always there. I used to get a huge know,its been 6 years now and im over that. Besides,she's lame and not very interesting at all. I should know I was my husbands best friend when they were together. Anyway,do your best not to show your uncomfortable. Dont hang all over your man,fake the confidence till you make it. Smile and say hi to her. Hold your husbands hand,kiss his cheak now and then. Let her see you two are happy together but be careful not to over do it,itll look fake like your trying to make her jelouse. And remember,she's an ex,your it,she's alot more uncomfortable than you are,my husbands ex used to stalk him,she was real clingy.
2006-10-04 05:27:13 · answer #4 · answered by TrofyWife 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend should not be having any type of friendly relationship with his ex. The past is the past. He wouldn't want you to be close to youe ex. tell him that you are uncomfortable with that situation. Most likely she is still around because she still have feelings for him. You guys communicate with each other...
2006-10-04 05:24:31 · answer #5 · answered by Sue 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to be more secure in your relationship. You know he loves you and wants to be with you. When you go to the party, introduce yourself to the ex and maybe that will help ease your mind on this situation.
2006-10-04 05:23:26 · answer #6 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think its just the simple fact that his ex shared something with your man that you feel uncomfortable about it. you're just jealous and at least you can admit that. she is from his past and there's nothing you can do about that. since she is tight with him and is in the same social circle, you can't avoid her. best is to get to know her. maybe its the mystery and unknown about her that makes you uneasy. getting to know her might put you at ease about her hanging around your man. either that or you probably really don't trust your man.
good luck with that.
2006-10-04 05:28:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Be friends with her.
Be yourself.
You are nicer than her.
You are more fun than her.
You are prettier than her.
She is probably interested in another guy.
Your boyfriend is YOUR boyfriend!
RELAX and enjoy life with him.
Relax around her - you may even LIKE her!
Give her a chance.
Instead of building a fence, build a bridge.
Good luck to you.
2006-10-04 05:30:14 · answer #8 · answered by NANCY K 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The problem is that you are insecure.
You need to get rid of your insecurities and know that your man wants to be with you and only you.
2006-10-04 05:23:06 · answer #9 · answered by Mike 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
To get rid of this problem you need to work on your insecurity problem. Do not say you don't have one because you just described it. Don't worry about her, worry about yourself a bit. Good luck.
2006-10-04 05:24:26 · answer #10 · answered by Val 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋