Are there any child rearing techniques that work on spouse rearing?

Question

Before you go screaming that there should be no spuse rearing, we all know deep in our hearts this is not true. Why is there the belief (Supported by numerous books by expertes) that there are a ton of ways to correct children's behavior but everyone feels you can't change your spouse's behavior?
Some of the same techniques we use on our children (removal of privileges, giving choices, rewards) must work on our spouses. Which ones work the best?

Just as an example. I thought about this one while watching a cartoon this morning. One character has so much money and spent it all before getting what he wanted and learned the value of saving money instead of spending it all the time.
Lets say one partner is bad at managing money. Can a spouse use the same technique used in this cartoon to teach a partner. Say give them a account with their own money in which they have to buy a certain amount of items. Then when they go over budget, you tough love them by not giving them any more until the next paycheck.

Answer 1

Fascinating. If your spouse is not willing to change, there probably would be some serious repercussions from trying to force it. It would backfire and cause you a lot of emotional pain as well. However, psychologists have learned a lot of tricks whicn can be useful. Hopefully, you will get some good answers from one or more who are trained in that field.
Also, and there is no implication intended here, in a book called "Alcoholics Anonymous" there are some chapters which might help you, or at least give you some ideas. One is 'Working with others', another is 'The Family Afterward'. A third is called 'To Wives', and you'd simply have to switch viewpoint and think of it as 'To Husbands', it is full of suggestions as to how to approach some one when they are changing. To find one, look in the phone book for Alcoholics Anonymous and call them. They will get you a book for the asking, and they don't cost much.
That's about the only way I can think of to be helpful to you. Hopefully, you will get a lot of useful answers from people better versed than I am in these matters for you to think about.
Also, I don't know if you practice it or not, but I often spend a little time in prayer and meditation when I am at a loss and need guidance, it helps me think clearly and stay balanced. I heard Ronald Reagan used to spend 4 hours some mornings praying, but for all I know he was sleeping most of that.

Answer 2

I understand what you are going through. My mother-in-law didn't really rear my husband at all and I have had to spend the last 10 years trying to teach him about responsibility and obligation to more than just yourself. This is the price we pay for marrying young. It has been a long, slow process, but over the years my husband's attitudes have improved significantly from when we first met. I don't care what anyone says marriage is a learning process and both of us have had to learn life lessons from each other. I wish I could say there was some "for dummies" book that could help, but you just have to be patient. People only change if they want to.

Answer 3

No because you both end up regretting and it opens another door of frustration. The key is self-examination and COMMUNICATION. You can't train or rear your spouse--we are not cats and dogs. Sometimes the truth hurts but if you are willing to improve and make something work--you gotta face FACTS which is truth! To correct a child, is that not telling them the truth in an action. LOVE is an action word-it is shown in many different ways. I discipline my kids b/c I love them and I don't want to raise heathens who will add to the way society is corrupt or enable them to occupy jail cells when they are older. So we as loving parents use preventative maintenance--tough love. It works and it proves a point so you don't have to! Check yourself and talk about it. Because anyone can cast stones and point fingers, but there are always 3 fingers pointing back at you when you do that. Think about it. Work on yourself and communicate in the process. I've been married for 11 years, I have the right to put my 2 cents in at this point.

Answer 4

Positive reinforcement!! It works on everyone. Everybody likes to hear a thank you and know that they are appreciated!

....And you can't remove priviliges from a spouse, that's emotional abuse!

And maybe you should go back and reread those parenting books because most will say that when a child is misbehaving it's because the parent isn't doing his/her job properly. So maybe you should first think about what you're doing wrong to cause your spouce's "behaviour problems"

Answer 5

for spouses I suggest speaking and coming to a compromise. Punishment is only for children and retards.

Answer 6

I make my wife stand in the corner when she talks back. lol j/k I really send her to her room without supper.

Answer 7

I prefer spanking.

Answer 8

yep spanking that is a good answer it is fast and over fast!!

Answer 9

well sure, if you have married a child.